the power of our words (Full Version)

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slavedesires -> the power of our words (7/9/2005 8:45:09 PM)

I have found great strength in the words and wisdom and experiences and opinions of both young and old alike. By young, i mean as young as perhaps 4, by old i mean as old as my grandfather, 96.
I have found NOthing of the kind in words that are sarcastic, mean, spiteful, vindictive, demeaning , devaluing...for in giving them, many do not know that they are only devaluing themselves, not others.
"Your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can
destroy everything around you. Impeccability of the word only creates beauty, love and heaven on earth". Don Miguel Ruiz in the Four Agreements

'Make what your heart instructs, and don't let anyone persuade you to compromise with your own truth.' --Clive Barker
Many times we seek the advice of strangers and other times dear friends. Many times we just need others to listen, not knowing if they will give advice or lend support and are frequently appauled at the response...but only we each, as individuals, know the truth for ourselves.
We tend to compromise to be politically correct within WIITWD as i read these boards...... so not good to do.

We are so judgmental and unaccepting of others, disrespectful and yet we can join in with others and be excited about their journey...why dont we?
Accepting The Journeys Of Others
* Each of us, in life, walks on the special path that
the soul is destined to undertake. Our journeys are
very different and we progress at different rates.
* Even so, when we observe
others, it can be easy to pass judgment on their
decisions and to assume their actions will correspond
with what we feel is right.
* Giving others the
freedom to act in the way they feel are best without
the fear of harsh judgments honors the capacity for
growth that all people possess.
In a world of so many outside influences, it can be
difficult to know where you begin and the world ends.
Requests by a boss or spouse seem more like
responsibilities and it often feels easier just to
give in. You might shrug off the words of a
disrespectful person rather than engage in conflict.
But what happens when the reactions and actions
expected of you are not the path you would take?
Setting clear boundaries is one way in which you can
take responsibility for your own needs and help
establish how those around you treat you...

Just doing some thinking today...and i hope....

I pray that today, My heart might be pure, My mind clear, My spirit submissive, My body strong, My walk holy, and My service honorable.


~~shy



pleasureforHim -> RE: the power of our words (7/10/2005 7:36:25 AM)

quote:

But what happens when the reactions and actions
expected of you are not the path you would take?
Setting clear boundaries is one way in which you can
take responsibility for your own needs and help
establish how those around you treat you...


i recently had a terrible experience that could have been averted had i obeyed one of my long-standing boundaries -- no online Masters. The relationship prior to accepting the "collar" was a great friendship that would have lasted a lifetime. Once the "collar" went on, a different side of the Man appeared and i was shocked and angry and frightened, and finally, less then two weeks later, i returned my "collar"; which infuriated Him. We had a few scathing IM's in which He accused me of "setting Him up" to fail, etc. He called me all sorts of names..and coming from someone i (once) loved and trusted, they cut like a knife.

So..i have had to learn AGAIN..my boundaries exist because, beyond them, i am not able to succeed. i need to remain true to myself. What happens is, i get especially lonely or upset, and someone seems espesially understanding; and i think "well, maybe it could work with Him (rather then all other men)..and it ends in disaster..every time. i end up with my original problem and a second problem associated with whichever man i have allowed into my life who now must be shown the door.

i swear, if there was a CM award for banging your head against a brick wall to accept your boundaries exist 365 days a years, i'd be a contender.

slavedesires speaks a gospel truth.

pleasureforHim



mossy -> RE: the power of our words (7/10/2005 4:34:26 PM)

Thank You slavesdesires your thoughts were truly a blessing to me today.
The power of our words are stronger than we think. Thank you again.
Every person is so different, their life experiences and their feelings.
Holding on to my own integrity and truth, expressing my empathy.
That is what your posting shy, has reminded me of,
to let the words of anger and negativity go. i did not start posting
to prove anything to anyone. Just wanted to share:) thought i may
make a few friends along the way:)



lonewolf05 -> RE: the power of our words (7/16/2005 12:22:34 AM)

now if you would be so kind as to stop the pretty girlie poetry and say what is going on here?

i personally never understood any of this.

i hope there is a message here?


thanks the wolf



sub4hire -> RE: the power of our words (7/16/2005 7:44:21 AM)

quote:

now if you would be so kind as to stop the pretty girlie poetry and say what is going on here?


She is saying (I hope it is a she) that you should think before you react. Consider what you are saying. Don't demean people because then they shut you out. Will ignore what you say the rest of your days.
Don't be so quick to judge. Many judge then later on find out they happen to like something. So, keep an open mind.

From my perspective, there are people here who start threads on religion and politics just to divide us all the more. That is their only goal in starting these post's.

If one sat back and thought about it..and watched the posts they start it would be clear to all. Yet, how many is it clear to?

If we were all united we could make changes in the lifestyle. Big changes. Anyway, before I go even more off track, that is the jist of what she was saying.



slavedesires -> RE: the power of our words (7/16/2005 5:43:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

now if you would be so kind as to stop the pretty girlie poetry and say what is going on here?

i personally never understood any of this.

i hope there is a message here?


thanks the wolf



ROTFLMFOA

you are from mars...no matter if male sub! [:D]

but i have noticed...words can be carelessly loosed without remores for the consequences of them. (yes, i am also quilty.... *stands up and hangs head

~~shy



Mercnbeth -> RE: the power of our words (7/18/2005 10:38:21 AM)

quote:

From my perspective, there are people here who start threads on religion and politics just to divide us all the more. That is their only goal in starting these post's.


Then there are people who are so maniacal that they have the perspective of everyone else's thought process when they post, or what is going through their minds when they speak. It's a prejudice, akin to racial profiling but more insidious. To be that egocentric and then represent that they have the ability to provide neutral "advice" would seem counter intuitive but if you through in a healthy dose of rationalization I guess you can "get there".

Wouldn't you agree?



sub4hire -> RE: the power of our words (7/18/2005 10:52:04 AM)

quote:

Wouldn't you agree?


Actually I call that open mindedness. Myself I very rarely post my own opinion here on these boards. I generally post fact. Or something that life experience has taught me...from literally thousands of people.

I've noticed you post your views and you seem to have issue when someone disagree's with you. Frankly I can care less if anyone agree's or disagree's with me. I'm not out to change the world here. I'm here to chat and learn. Not try to cram my own views down people's throats.
It is the opposite of prejudice. It is opening up your arms to the world and embracing them for being different.
Of course you won't understand where I am coming from when I make these statements.



Mercnbeth -> RE: the power of our words (7/18/2005 11:46:47 AM)

quote:

Myself I very rarely post my own opinion here on these boards.(Emphasis added) I generally post fact. Or something that life experience has taught me...from literally thousands of people.

I've noticed you post your views and you seem to have issue when someone disagree's with you. Frankly I can care less if anyone agree's or disagree's with me.


I don't think those two statements are in agreement, unless the second statement is a statement of fact. Maybe it's a fact to you, but it's not universal. I encourage disagreement, especially from those capable of citing facts. I don't need to change my mind illustrate my acceptance of someone else's position. I'd rather be honest and open, and unlike you state above, ALWAYS, provide my own opinion. Why participate and represent expertise if you "rarely post my own opinion on these boards". Whose opinion do you represent? That was a surprising disclosure.

On most issues there are facts for both sides. The person posting the question or putting up a thread for debate should expect to get information from both sides. In fact they should want to hear or read both sides. That's were conviction and adamant verbiage make a difference and is, as the OP suggests, the true power of words.

Even a sampling of "thousands" is not convincing factual argument. There were thousands of Germans believing Hitler was right. Of course that is my opinion, as are all my posts, and subject to debate; healthy, un-personal, and unassuming. Unless the assumptions are spelled so that any false assumption is clearly identified, eschewing prejudicial fallacies.



sub4hire -> RE: the power of our words (7/18/2005 12:25:25 PM)

Then I guess you learned something today? That what happens to the masses changes the advice I'd give to other's.
For instance the guy asking for advice on how to tell his girlfriend about the lifestyle. A lot of people offered up advice. How many of them had life experiences or were just offering up their own solutions?

Myself, I've seen it. I know how it will play out, so I offered that up. Not the advice I would offer because I knew it was wrong in the situation.

Unlike you I belong to a worldwide group who is trying to put on a united front for the lifestyle as a whole. That would unify us so we could actually fight those who disagree.

Not like you who has professed in your profile and here many times, you just like to fight.

I don't happen to enjoy ripping apart what it is we have achieved so far. I'd rather embrace it so we can go forward instead of continually going in reverse.

You can argue your point without the whole holier than though attitude you bring to the table.




Mercnbeth -> RE: the power of our words (7/18/2005 2:30:26 PM)

quote:

For instance the guy asking for advice on how to tell his girlfriend about the lifestyle. A lot of people offered up advice. How many of them had life experiences or were just offering up their own solutions?

Myself, I've seen it. I know how it will play out, so I offered that up. Not the advice I would offer because I knew it was wrong in the situation.

Unlike you I belong to a worldwide group who is trying to put on a united front for the lifestyle as a whole. That would unify us so we could actually fight those who disagree.

Not like you who has professed in your profile and here many times, you just like to fight.

I don't happen to enjoy ripping apart what it is we have achieved so far. I'd rather embrace it so we can go forward instead of continually going in reverse.

You can argue your point without the whole holier than though attitude you bring to the table.


And just to prove the point - What part of that statement is NOT an opinion? Or is this one of the "rare" occasions? Fight? No - I enjoy debate, refuse to flame, and give my opinions. It's good to now know where it is you stand on the "honest opinion" issue. It helps in classifying your comments. Thank you.

quote:

For instance the guy asking for advice on how to tell his girlfriend about the lifestyle. A lot of people offered up advice. How many of them had life experiences or were just offering up their own solutions?


Saw it at almost every meeting in NYC by the people who came into the club's "open house" nights. If it wasn't the most common question asked it was in the top 5. There is a much different answer if either of the parties are married or have a significant other the answer is much different. Advise was offered, and suggested, the common denominator being communication. No earth shattering new technique.

Did I have that experience? No just the opposite. My first ex-wife and submissive (I don't think she ever qualified as "slave" even before determining my own definition to that term.) decided to tell me on our honeymoon that she hoped that I was prepared to mature and not need the lifestyle aspect of my sexuality for much longer. Interesting on a number of levels, not the least of which was we MET at a BDSM club. She believed that the lifestyle was a game or some weekend activity that "mature" adults don't partake in after marriage and kids are in the picture.

I guess that experience has made me pretty jaded and opinionated about relationship honesty. Would I not be qualified from an opinion since it didn't happen exactly as the poster described?



sub4hire -> RE: the power of our words (7/18/2005 7:37:25 PM)

Has anyone ever judged you here? When you said Beth gave up her children to be with you, did anyone judge? Lot's including myself do not understand how one could do that.

However, that is the whole thought process for me. It didn't make me like you any less because of it....do I remember the thread? Sure I do. I learned something I consider valuable about you.

The bottom line is there is no BDSM bible and if there were you nor I would be involved. We just aren't gay enough.
So, everything we are learning we are learning from one another. We have to evolve to become a society the world doesn't frown upon.

I listen to all, then give out my advice. Is it always based on fact? No, because fact does not always exist in our lifestyle.
By the way I do from time to time offer my own opinions. However when I do that I say that is what I am doing.

I have been trained to listen. That is what I do best. Then offer advice.



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