When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Information D & s

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When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Informatio... - 7/10/2005 1:49:31 AM

OralPassions

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

I suppose I have been fortunate since posting my profile here on collarme and this being my first time also. Having made it clear I seek as a submissive slave TPE 24/7 & willing and able to relocate. With me initiating only a couple notices my first night upon joining. I've had 10 FemDom contacts of interest to my listed profile. I have yet to complete information required to send to the Domme/Mistress's/Goddess's I seek to initiate contact for there review of this submissive.
(Soon now after this all day resume)

I did just complete a six page resume in microsoft word & emailed it to one Mistress who intiated contact and who had piqued my interest. I did make certain to keep myself & reference information anonymous. I do include another email address an my phone (Which is untracable)All I know of her is a user name on here. That will also be the case for any furture FemDom's who are requesting such information. I believe it's important information for any FemDom seeking TPE 24/7 and just as important for the submissive to be informed just as well. That said . . .

When is it appropriate to ask for verifiable informatin from a Domme/Mistress/Goddess ect... when a submissive has fulfulled the FemDom's required background information requested & it is very thorough and complete. If the FemDom desires to go the next step after review.
I would expect an answer either way out of respect. Most FemDom's say they will reply if sincere and complete. I'd like to hear from experienced Lifestyle FemDoms on how you approach this same situation.

Honestly just because I'm submissive doesn't mean I should expose who I am and possibly hurt other people in my life if this information is to get in the wrong type persons hands. So who should actually make the first move of the trusting exposure.
I seek experience

I apoligize if you think this as lengthy. From following the forums up till now I read alot of responses of if's and theories. Let's get real

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RE: When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Inform... - 7/10/2005 6:42:07 AM

dominmd

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
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edited by me.

< Message edited by dominmd -- 7/10/2005 6:43:01 AM >

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RE: When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Inform... - 7/10/2005 9:23:08 AM

MsHoney2you

Posts: 42
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

IMO you give your personal information slowly, just as you would to any stranger. You are right to be cautious and if you do agree to share your personal info, then the same would be expected of the Domme IF you are both seeking a LTR 24/7 relationship. If your relationship is a casual play one, then lifestyle referrals would be all that I require. Sharing slowly, cautiously is a good thing. In this lifestyle there are many that jump first and then realize they are falling in to the fire. Yes, "Let's be real" is a good idea. Good luck and play fun and fair,

Ms Honey

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RE: When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Inform... - 7/10/2005 10:27:32 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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We don't ask for or give any personal information other than our first names and a general location (like, right now, we live less than 30 min from Purdue University ... and we don't even tell them which campus). If things go well, they get one of our cell phone numbers. If things go really well, we tell them which campus we are near and arrange to meet them somewhere near at a public place. At that point is when they get our adress and last names, and we get theirs - that whole safe-call/safety plan thing.

Personally, if someone is asking for information about you, then they should be providing that same information to you. There has to be a ballance of trust, which is why we never ask for a phone number until we are willing to give ours.

(in reply to MsHoney2you)

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RE: When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Inform... - 7/10/2005 1:16:47 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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tit for tat...I don't expect a boy to give Me any information until he is ready and feeling secure about it. If I get to the telephone stage, I give My phone number, and he makes the call. I also don't accept any blocked calls. However, at that point, I am giving just as much information as I expect. People can already see the general area where I live. Some of My professional clients who are also on this site, know My address. I trust them to be discreet and keep Me safe. And when I meet with someone the first time, it is always in a public place. Nothng is ever 100% guaranteed, but everybody needs to use reasonable caution and that applies to both Dominants and submissives.
I also have boys who want to spill everything to Me. If they have a need to do this, I am probably a safe Domina to share with, because I am not going to do anything with it anyway. I get a little crazy when a boy wants to talk to Me every day on the phone, but is scared to give Me his real name. A first name is sufficient. But, sometimes I wonder at some of the paranoia. I mean, if the intent is to look at a 24/7 situation, and they are already anxious to get on the telephone, I would hope there is a good amount of sincerity working on both sides at that point. Eventually there needs to be some trust. I do have a hard time with the boys who say this is what they want, but then it drags on and on and on. That's one of the best reasons for real time vs. cyber meets.
Use your instincts, but yes, it shouldn't necessarily be a one sided deal. If you are being asked for pretty specific information, the other party should be sharing or willing to share the same.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

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RE: When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Inform... - 7/10/2005 11:04:18 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

I second what both SweetDommes and GoddessDustyGold have told you. Trust is a two-way street and a Dominant should be willing to provide the same information that is requested from you. I do not ask for or give specific identifying information such as last name and address until I have met the submissive real time. I do request general information such as type of employment, hobbies, marital status, and background during the initial exchange of e-mails. If they make it past that point then I want to learn what is important to you and where you are coming from during the phone conversations (ie general beliefs and attitudes). Once I have met the submissive real time and am ready to take things further, I will exchange specifics. However, if the submissive lives in the same city as Me (and they must or I would not be considering them), I will ask if they have been to the local dungeons and if so how often they have gone.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

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RE: When is it Appropriate to Request Verifiable Inform... - 7/11/2005 5:10:57 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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You can ask anytime you want, though it's better to have some background for thinking it will be well received.

It depends on the person and situation. For me, I could give my number out to someone I've been talking with for a few hours. For others, I won't give my number out to them even if I see them at a party every month.

But I agree- never ask for information you aren't willing to give about yourself and hold the same standard to them.

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