Also part of the game: Dom responsability

Also part of the game: Dom responsability (Full Version)

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Perplex -> Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 9:32:58 PM)
Here in atlanta a few years ago, an older couple was car jacked, the old man got himself shot dead defending his wife. They were the old school kind of couple, he barked and she complied. He understood it though, the price of that service is your defence even at the cost of your life. In my travels I've seen too many dom's who only growl away other dom's...this goes hand in hand with my observation too many dom's got into the lifestyle as a way of getting laid without the hinderance of developing a valid relationship....and then let thier slaves/subs/bottoms swing (go undefended) when there is other trouble. Sometimes its as simple as a spider in the bathtub trouble sometimes it's a car jacker piece of trouble. Once you label yourself a Dom, it doesn't mean haveing to act like a king lion macho-lord of all you survey, but it does mean you gotta stand up like a man when it is needed. A buddy of mine and I saw something that disgusted me a week or so ago I guess, this typcial Trendy was offloading the grocery cart as he read the riot act to his dutiful wife who stood at rigid attention at the minivan door, ok that's their relationship not my business....about two hour later we run into Mr. Trendy at this barbeque joint, his wife is at the counter fixing to bring the food back to his table when she spills it on this BIG (if Jackson had had him they woudln't have had to pay for the monkey suit) guy who squawked cuz he got hit with a bunch of hot stuff, he gets up at is yelling at her, she is apologizing like she was one of the people who tacked up jesus and Mr. Trendy just sat there watching. My buddy and I did go in helped mop things off the guy and calm things down, and he was cool with it, accidents happen once the shock wore off, but dang it, it scrapes me in a bad place a guy who sees himself as a woman's dom has a responsiblity to stand up for her, even when she is in teh wrong (or has an accident) not sit there and not be noticed cuz it's a BIG guy she annoyed. No real question in this post, just me being a little natter to remind dom's to act like men if they decide to play the game.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 9:40:33 PM)
I tell my slave the same thing I told my ex wife when we got married: She's my woman--that makes her a great lady as far as the rest of the world is concerned. Anyone who thinks otherwise....has a quarrel with me.

BitaTruble -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 9:44:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Perplex No real question in this post, just me being a little natter to remind dom's to act like men if they decide to play the game. Unless, of course, the dominant in question happens to be female. [8D] Celeste

Bobkgin -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 9:51:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Perplex Here in atlanta a few years ago, an older couple was car jacked, the old man got himself shot dead defending his wife. They were the old school kind of couple, he barked and she complied. He understood it though, the price of that service is your defence even at the cost of your life. In my travels I've seen too many dom's who only growl away other dom's...this goes hand in hand with my observation too many dom's got into the lifestyle as a way of getting laid without the hinderance of developing a valid relationship....and then let thier slaves/subs/bottoms swing (go undefended) when there is other trouble. Sometimes its as simple as a spider in the bathtub trouble sometimes it's a car jacker piece of trouble. Once you label yourself a Dom, it doesn't mean haveing to act like a king lion macho-lord of all you survey, but it does mean you gotta stand up like a man when it is needed. A buddy of mine and I saw something that disgusted me a week or so ago I guess, this typcial Trendy was offloading the grocery cart as he read the riot act to his dutiful wife who stood at rigid attention at the minivan door, ok that's their relationship not my business....about two hour later we run into Mr. Trendy at this barbeque joint, his wife is at the counter fixing to bring the food back to his table when she spills it on this BIG (if Jackson had had him they woudln't have had to pay for the monkey suit) guy who squawked cuz he got hit with a bunch of hot stuff, he gets up at is yelling at her, she is apologizing like she was one of the people who tacked up jesus and Mr. Trendy just sat there watching. My buddy and I did go in helped mop things off the guy and calm things down, and he was cool with it, accidents happen once the shock wore off, but dang it, it scrapes me in a bad place a guy who sees himself as a woman's dom has a responsiblity to stand up for her, even when she is in teh wrong (or has an accident) not sit there and not be noticed cuz it's a BIG guy she annoyed. No real question in this post, just me being a little natter to remind dom's to act like men if they decide to play the game. The day my son was born, we'd been up since 1:30 AM when the water had broken. I'd taken her in, and the gynecologist has prescribed a drug to aid the dilation. Reassured repeatedly that it was going to be several hours before anything happened, I returned home to feed the dogs. When I didn't get a call at the appointed time, I called in. Turned out they hadn't applied the drug because they were short-staff and didn't want to deliver the baby at that time. (O.O) I flipped. It has already been 12+ hours of labour. The medication took hours to work. She'd had one hour of sleep before the water broke and a full day the day before. I told the head nurse to call the gynecologist and tell him to meet me there in half an hour. I was there in 20 minutes. The trip usually takes 45 minutes. As soon as I arrived I told the gynecologist the story, told him of my wife's condition, and told him to get to work. They checked my son and he was in distress. 30 minutes and one emergency c-section later and my son was born. 30 minutes waiting in a room alone, not knowing what was going to happen, I wept with the frustration of being totally helpless. 4.5 years later, I stood by her as she was eaten alive by cancer. The day after, I was raising my son as a widowed father. Some of us take our responsibilities very seriously, whether bdsm is involved or not. It's about love, not about kink. Or so it seems to me.

Perplex -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 10:00:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Unless, of course, the dominant in question happens to be female. See that's what's funny to me. Of the Domme's I have known who have long term slaves, they never need reminding of it. I remember back when cars had hatchbacks pulls out teeth a friend who was an nurse's aide got blindsided by this old man in full blown dementia and her domme gf, the nurse on duty, came out of nowhere (before I could get down the hall she moved so fast) had him secured in 12 seconds, all 98 pounds of her. forgive the inherent sexism here, but women never seem to forget thier roles in the lifestyle in favor of thier ego's as easily as men do.at least not when it counts and blood is on the line.

Perplex -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 10:04:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin It's about love, not about kink. Or so it seems to me. God love you sir. Give me a thousand men with that sense of decency and I could..I could, um, well we'd have oen hell of a poker tournament. I'd want to say its' cuz we're old farts of the old school and feel this way, but I've seen a couple of kids who'd put john wayne to shame standing up for right and wrong.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 10:14:43 PM)
Of the Dominants I have known, none fo them with long term and committed relatioships have ever had a problem with protecting them and theirs. I have been in more than my share of scuffs making sure my boys are ok. I have never had a man try and defend ME, but thats becasue I am the more qualified to do so, even if my partner at the time was a fellow dominant. I believe it is more a matter of need than a matter of position. For instance, I had a friend in NY who was a male Dom. His subbie girlfriend was a student of mine in karate and she was a fairly advanced level. The 3 of us had gone out to the city one night, and were wandering around Chinatown well after midnight. I had run into a resturant to use the rest room, and the two of them were being cutesy and making out outside waiting for me. Obviously, this was the sign for some miscreant to pull a gun on them and demand their money and jewelry. Kaz (the gf) was very phobic of guns, and her first reaction was not to comply, but to disarm. She had him disarmed and on the gound screaming to be saved in seconds. Her Dominant boyfriend didnt even have TIME to react. If asked if he would have, probably yes. But why worry about the safety of someone more qualified to save your ass than you theirs? In a relationship, be it vanilla or lifestyle, the lead should be the protector as well. It doesnt always happen, no. But it should. If you take responsability for someone else... their safety and well being should be in the forefront. Even when it isnt about love, persay. Id fight to the death for Kitten if I had to, though I dont love him. He is mine, and as such my responsability. He would get the same level of protection as Angel, who is the love of my life. My opinion of course DV

Bobkgin -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 10:16:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Perplex quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin It's about love, not about kink. Or so it seems to me. God love you sir. Give me a thousand men with that sense of decency and I could..I could, um, well we'd have oen hell of a poker tournament. I'd want to say its' cuz we're old farts of the old school and feel this way, but I've seen a couple of kids who'd put john wayne to shame standing up for right and wrong. As I said, its about love. When my father died, I did all I could to ease the burden for my mother. I was young, but I knew enough about household chores to do them so she wouldn't have to. When you learn compassion young, it touches your entire life. When you know what it is like to be helpless, it is not hard to learn compassion for others who are helpless. As I said, its all about love.

Perplex -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 10:25:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire Of the Dominants I have known, none fo them with long term and committed relatioships have ever had a problem with protecting them and theirs. I have been in more than my share of scuffs making sure my boys are ok. I have never had a man try and defend ME, but thats becasue I am the more qualified to do so, even if my partner at the time was a fellow dominant. I believe it is more a matter of need than a matter of position. For instance, I had a friend in NY who was a male Dom. His subbie girlfriend was a student of mine in karate and she was a fairly advanced level. The 3 of us had gone out to the city one night, and were wandering around Chinatown well after midnight. I had run into a resturant to use the rest room, and the two of them were being cutesy and making out outside waiting for me. Obviously, this was the sign for some miscreant to pull a gun on them and demand their money and jewelry. Kaz (the gf) was very phobic of guns, and her first reaction was not to comply, but to disarm. She had him disarmed and on the gound screaming to be saved in seconds. Her Dominant boyfriend didnt even have TIME to react. If asked if he would have, probably yes. But why worry about the safety of someone more qualified to save your ass than you theirs? In a relationship, be it vanilla or lifestyle, the lead should be the protector as well. It doesnt always happen, no. But it should. If you take responsability for someone else... their safety and well being should be in the forefront. Even when it isnt about love, persay. Id fight to the death for Kitten if I had to, though I dont love him. He is mine, and as such my responsability. He would get the same level of protection as Angel, who is the love of my life. My opinion of course DV dang it, sniffle now I want a super-ninja sub too. she'd be cool in bars, I could make a fortune. but of course you're right, I own a cocker spaniel at the moment, not one of the worlds butch dogs, so when she gets nervous I let her beta it out behind me, but back when I owned Hank (a neuf/wolfhound/dinosaur mutt) who came close to 200 lbs, I let her do the protecting cuz she was better at it & the money I saved getting mugged bought her dog food.

MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/27/2007 11:38:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Perplex quote: ORIGINAL: Bobkgin It's about love, not about kink. Or so it seems to me. God love you sir. Give me a thousand men with that sense of decency and I could..I could, um, well we'd have oen hell of a poker tournament. I'd want to say its' cuz we're old farts of the old school and feel this way, but I've seen a couple of kids who'd put john wayne to shame standing up for right and wrong. I agree 100% if you can not tuely love your slave how can she ever truly trust you?

MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsibility (8/27/2007 11:46:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Perplex Here in atlanta a few years ago, an older couple was car jacked, the old man got himself shot dead defending his wife. They were the old school kind of couple, he barked and she complied. He understood it though, the price of that service is your defence even at the cost of your life. In my travels I've seen too many dom's who only growl away other dom's...this goes hand in hand with my observation too many dom's got into the lifestyle as a way of getting laid without the hinderance of developing a valid relationship....and then let thier slaves/subs/bottoms swing (go undefended) when there is other trouble. Sometimes its as simple as a spider in the bathtub trouble sometimes it's a car jacker piece of trouble. Once you label yourself a Dom, it doesn't mean haveing to act like a king lion macho-lord of all you survey, but it does mean you gotta stand up like a man when it is needed. A buddy of mine and I saw something that disgusted me a week or so ago I guess, this typcial Trendy was offloading the grocery cart as he read the riot act to his dutiful wife who stood at rigid attention at the minivan door, ok that's their relationship not my business....about two hour later we run into Mr. Trendy at this barbeque joint, his wife is at the counter fixing to bring the food back to his table when she spills it on this BIG (if Jackson had had him they woudln't have had to pay for the monkey suit) guy who squawked cuz he got hit with a bunch of hot stuff, he gets up at is yelling at her, she is apologizing like she was one of the people who tacked up jesus and Mr. Trendy just sat there watching. My buddy and I did go in helped mop things off the guy and calm things down, and he was cool with it, accidents happen once the shock wore off, but dang it, it scrapes me in a bad place a guy who sees himself as a woman's dom has a responsiblity to stand up for her, even when she is in teh wrong (or has an accident) not sit there and not be noticed cuz it's a BIG guy she annoyed. No real question in this post, just me being a little natter to remind dom's to act like men if they decide to play the game. I agree the one I call mine is my responsibility to care for no matter the situation. I am the one she trusts and her care is my responsibility. God help the man that ever raised his voice let alone a hand to my woman or family member. And to my one I love you and I am here for you anytime just wanted to remind you of that in case I have not latly

KiandPhoenix -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsibility (8/28/2007 12:14:49 AM)
We defend each other from the monsters in our lives. Visioncon is a good example for her defending me. We were in our hotel room with me a good deal into drunk. There were three women I had slept with in the room, including my ex that I was with for three years (once I love someone I always love them so this was real hard). One of the girls said something nasty about me and gave me a playful backhand. Phoenix was all over her in a nice but firm way. We didn’t have any more problems with her. On the other hand, Phoenix is going through a nasty divorce still. We have had to have police intervention at the custody exchange point IN THE POLIECE STATION. When the mother in law was visiting, she got up a few inches from Phoenix yelling at her. I stepped between them. That was all I needed to do in order to get the attention focused on me. The mother in law tried to have me ejected from the station for standing between them. Then she made the mistake of grabbing Phoenix by the arm. I removed it and gave it back to her very nice and stood between them again. She was very unhappy. When dealing with her ex, he is a push over with a lot of bark, but I am fairly certain he is terrified of me. I don’t have to get physical with him to get him to go away. During transfers I have just handled it by handing him the kids myself and walking away. If he was alone with Phoenix he would yell and scream then follow her to the car telling her all sorts of crap. One morning he was dropping off at our house, and after about 30 secs after she had been out alone with him I threw on a robe and just went to the door stating I needed her. She came inside and it ended. So I think there are a lot of ways to defend your loved ones, not all have to be physical. If he ever laid a hand on her again though I would break it off. He isn’t stupid enough to do it around me. ~Ki Edited to add that she also protects me from giant bugs, as they are not my forte, and I am afraid of one or two kinds of the big ones. As she so nicely pointed out.

MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsibility (8/28/2007 12:21:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KiandPhoenix We defend each other from the monsters in our lives. Visioncon is a good example for her defending me. We were in our hotel room with me a good deal into drunk. There were three women I had slept with in the room, including my ex that I was with for three years (once I love someone I always love them so this was real hard). One of the girls said something nasty about me and gave me a playful backhand. Phoenix was all over her in a nice but firm way. We didn’t have any more problems with her. On the other hand, Phoenix is going through a nasty divorce still. We have had to have police intervention at the custody exchange point IN THE POLIECE STATION. When the mother in law was visiting, she got up a few inches from Phoenix yelling at her. I stepped between them. That was all I needed to do in order to get the attention focused on me. The mother in law tried to have me ejected from the station for standing between them. Then she made the mistake of grabbing Phoenix by the arm. I removed it and gave it back to her very nice and stood between them again. She was very unhappy. When dealing with her ex, he is a push over with a lot of bark, but I am fairly certain he is terrified of me. I don’t have to get physical with him to get him to go away. During transfers I have just handled it by handing him the kids myself and walking away. If he was alone with Phoenix he would yell and scream then follow her to the car telling her all sorts of crap. One morning he was dropping off at our house, and after about 30 secs after she had been out alone with him I threw on a robe and just went to the door stating I needed her. She came inside and it ended. So I think there are a lot of ways to defend your loved ones, not all have to be physical. If he ever laid a hand on her again though I would break it off. He isn’t stupid enough to do it around me. ~Ki Ki you are obviously and man of honor and place value on those in your life. I like you feel there are many ways to defend your loved ones. I have found in my life most bullies barks are much worse then there bits.

Bobkgin -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsibility (8/28/2007 12:34:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KiandPhoenix Edited to add that she also protects me from giant bugs, as they are not my forte, and I am afraid of one or two kinds of the big ones. As she so nicely pointed out. lol, and I can just picture her leaning over your shoulder while you were typing. "Hey!" sez she. "Wha?" sez he. "What about the big creepie crawlies?!" sez she. he cringes. "Do I have to tell them about that?" whines he. She punches him in the shoulder, eyes glued to the screen waiting for the words to appear. "ouch" sez he, and dutifully types in the edit. [:D] Sweet of you to be vulnerable to give her this much credit, Ki. Your secret will be safe with me. Go hug the missus and tell her you were wrong, not everyone would think you a wuss. [;)]

KiandPhoenix -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsibility (8/28/2007 12:46:17 AM)
HEY! You make me sound like a big meanie. I only beat up on the bugs, the ex and customers. ~Phoenix It's true. I am a wuss. The big bad hoppidie hops hopped at me and I ran outta the room until she came and saved me. ~Ki They were poisonous, I'm sure of it. He had every right to be worried. ~Phoenix Dear Phoenix. Quit reading over my shoulder so we can post this thing. ~Ki

Lashra -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/28/2007 3:29:49 AM)
Speaking as a Dominant female who has a submale, yes I would step up to the plate for him and he knows this. I have a very deep protective streak and I take care of that which is mine whether it be my child, my sub or myself. ~Lashra

Cyntilating -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/28/2007 4:32:07 AM)
When I read this, emotional sparks starting flying inside me...this topic is a rough one for me... so probably not a good time to share my own personal "stuff" about it.... but I did want to say that I don't see this so much as a dominance thing...or a "dom/me thing to do" . Its about personal integrity!... empathy towards others and especially those we claim to care about... the ability to feel and demonstrate compassion towards one another and "do the right thing"! because it makes us a sensative and caring human being.. personal strength of character should have little to do with your gender........sexual position preference...how much you can bench press....or even personality type ( alpha or beta ) ... it has all to do with ones indifference vs compassion when faced with steppin up* when you can and someone/something else cannot ( for what ever reason) ...* way to "be" , Perplex! and Bob....if I could hug you ( after what you shared ) I would.

ddthrill -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/28/2007 5:03:17 AM)
My Daddy Falcon takes good care of me and I try to do my best for him too. He has even held my hand when we traveled to a big city and there was crazy traffic and I was scrared about crossing this huge street. I am good to him. He used to get in fights sometimes. I try to calm him down, when he lets me, so he doenst get hurt or in trouble. Nobody ever thinks he is a wimp because he is totally not. I respect him more than anybody on earth and would fight for him too. Falcons dd

Bobkgin -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsibility (8/28/2007 5:05:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KiandPhoenix HEY! You make me sound like a big meanie. I only beat up on the bugs, the ex and customers. ~Phoenix It's true. I am a wuss. The big bad hoppidie hops hopped at me and I ran outta the room until she came and saved me. ~Ki They were poisonous, I'm sure of it. He had every right to be worried. ~Phoenix Dear Phoenix. Quit reading over my shoulder so we can post this thing. ~Ki (grinning ear to ear) Looks to me like a match made in heaven. [:)]

Bobkgin -> RE: Also part of the game: Dom responsability (8/28/2007 5:12:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cyntilating and Bob....if I could hug you ( after what you shared ) I would. Thank you Cyndi. Cyber-hugs are a pretty cool substitute. The pixels tickle. [:)]

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