Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (Full Version)

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Ravin -> Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/27/2007 10:40:36 PM)

I watched some 2 weeks ago as a slave was about to be punished that her Master had a new, shining in its glory paddle of black walnut, about 24" long, 3.5" wide, and a full 3/4" thick. He had so build her up on what this paddle was going to mean and etc... needless to say she was aware this wasnt a fun paddle, as she had some minor swats with it and they really stung. Now, she was about to get a full blast on both cheeks for something she did after being corrected several times.  So, as she is on the cross in the garage and bracing herself for the blow, He makes a statement about how this will be a full, heavy swing and that she need to realize she forced the situation. Those in attendance were watching intently. The moment was literally at hand and he swang the paddle.. But, in the course of the swing He did not properly judge its weight and force, or was not fully used to it as it promptly exited the garage~dungeon via one of the small windows on the back exterior door.

The paddle left its mark, and aquired some from the broken glass of the window in the process.

Looking at Us all who were shocked, he look to his slave and opted to make the best of a bad situation by saying "There, I hope that teaches you a lesson"



Lordandmaster -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/27/2007 11:00:34 PM)

I remember farting in someone's face right after eating a whole bowl of cauliflower.  I TOLD her I was about to fart, but she insisted on sticking her face in my ass.



MissMagnolia -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/27/2007 11:05:25 PM)

In my vanilla world marriage (long ago), my husband was squatting, I was sucking him, and yes, he dropped his guts. The fart wafted straight up my nose. I was almost gassed to death.

Last week, I had one of the slaves tied up, arms behind his back and face downward on the bed, whilst I rammed his arse with something big and pointy. He cried in pain, this is working I thinks, but when he actually used the safe word, I realised he had dislocated his shoulder. OOPS.[:D]



Twicehappy2x -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 4:49:28 AM)

I think the funniest thing i ever saw was a Dom preparing to screw his sub anally, he reached into his toy bag, lubed up his cock, slammed it home. Then pulled it out, starting hopping from foot to foot, grabbed a bottle of water and started rinsing his member, it looked really painful.
 
He had accidentally packed the Icy Hot instead of the KY.
 



e01n -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 6:21:05 AM)

Pornotube has a full bloopers section on it... great stuff.

One of my favorites of all time: Mai Randa doing a shibari demo, getting really into it... and then granny-ing a square knot. Priceless.



JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 8:14:29 AM)

My late Master was trying to learn to tie me up properly and couldn't get me untied..i was hogtied and losing the feeling in my hands lol...he was all panicky...i was laughing...[8D]



Raechard -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 10:00:52 AM)

If practicing self bondage don’t use hinged handcuffs behind your back with the keyholes facing away from your fingers.[:D]



LDRandAstarte -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 1:53:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

I think the funniest thing i ever saw was a Dom preparing to screw his sub anally, he reached into his toy bag, lubed up his cock, slammed it home. Then pulled it out, starting hopping from foot to foot, grabbed a bottle of water and started rinsing his member, it looked really painful.
 
He had accidentally packed the Icy Hot instead of the KY.


Ok! don't stop there! You have not gotten to the good part of the story!
Pray tell, How the hell did the sub react to an asshole full of Icy Hot?



krista -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 2:43:32 PM)

My former Master...decided we would do a bondage scene on a particular evening...Has me on the bed..in the way he wished...One small problem...he couldn't find the rope..Up on the ladder..looking high and low...Never did find it..!!!..This could double as a post on that other thread about aging..LOL..A true senior's moment..

a chuckling
krista
joy through service



HydroMaster -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 2:59:26 PM)

Advice from experience....never have the spare cuffs key where the cat can get to it.  I dropped the main key down a furnace grate.  "no problem" I thought...."I'll just go grab the spare"...."um, where's the spare....did you happen to move the spare when you were getting ready, um...uh oh"  The spare key was found 2 weeks later in the cat's hiding spot underneath the couch.  God bless bolt cutters.



lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 4:56:14 PM)

I cant remmber exactly what i have done yes i know there has been alot of bloopers for me LOL
But reading some of these i can think at the moment LOL



Ravin -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 8:27:26 PM)

So far these are great~ and realistic. The wife~sub reminded me of when we first tried waxplay some 10 years ago and I had yet to do some reading. I found the "Coolest" looking candles I could find, some really nice, dark red ones and a black one or two. It wasnt til some time later after I had caused the wife~sub to stand straight up in the bed from lying down hands tied behind her back near her waist that I learned about wax, the temperatures at which it melts, the effects of colorants on candles, and the other things. To Me, back in the "Learning" days it was like "A candles a candle and wax is wax" .......LOL, in reality its much more like a magicians slide of hand in having the correct knowlege. Lucky for Me I never did actual damage to my girl with those learning attempts.



minta -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 8:46:02 PM)

my favorite was one night when a particularly smug master was going to paddle his girl with a new "elecric" paddle, he had her all bound to the ceiling arms and legs spread wide...with heavy chains no less...and you guessed it, as soon as he came down on her ass with it he conpletled the circuit and shocked himself so hard he knocked himself over.... the hardest thing i have ever had to do to stop myself from busting out laughing right then and there.

minta



hobbit9sub4u -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 8:52:38 PM)

omg these are priceless. mastercard comercial anyone?



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/28/2007 9:15:33 PM)

Hehehe. I'd insisted on putting liquid latex all over my tummy one night and when peeling it off it'd ripped all the lil tiny hairs on my tummy. I was like ouch fuck shit that hurts, and James was quite throughly enjoying my reaction.



HydroMaster -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/29/2007 12:30:15 AM)

Replacing a paddle launched out the window, $35......a pair of bolt cutters to break off the keyless cuffs, $15....a first aid kit to treat accidental wax burns $20....a sub that is till willing to let you tie her up and try again, priceless.



softness -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/29/2007 5:50:44 AM)

okies .. has two ... one blooper .. and one more along the Dom Hubris tangent

so first -  was playing with this guy, i was face down on the bed and we were running a little captive scene .. now we had talked over and over again about how i liked to struggle .. so he was like all "Mwah Mwah mwah struggle all you like princess you shall never escape!" .. but i was struggling too much for him to actually hold me down .. and then when he did hold me still he couldn't remember the knots he wanted to use .. fast forward 10 minutes to me flicking through Cosmo while he works out how to tie my ankles to the bedframe

next was this really annoying arrogant poohead who used to go to playparties i attended with my Owner .. he used to strut around with this big cane he was really proud of and boast about his prowess with it, how he could bring any girl to tears with it, how he could make anyone beg him to stop after 10 strokes. so one night, after he had been a particular hothead and bragging and commeting on everyone elses scenes me and a friend came to an agreement with him that we could take 20 strokes each from him without making noise, and certainly without begging to stop. He was so confident we would be jibbering wrecks after one or two that he upped the ante and bet our Owners that for every stroke we took without he would give our Owners a fiver each (so £100 per sub if we finished in silence)

needless to say next day she and i went out on a boozy lunch/shopping trip on the proceeds and the shoes i bought that day are still my favourites for play ... he shifted and started bragging about his skill with knives and needles .. which were forbidden from being used at that particular club



Twicehappy2x -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/29/2007 7:20:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LDRandAstarte

!
Pray tell, How the hell did the sub react to an asshole full of Icy Hot?


Since the Dom involved had previously used Bengay on her she was expecting a butt plug not his member.
 
I wonder if that made the dom rethink using hot things on her.  



e01n -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/29/2007 7:48:28 AM)

One of my favorites in RL: Mistress BadAssMoFo (not her "real" name) got a new pair of patent stiletto boots. They're hot... she wants to show them off at the monthly play party. She's not used to walking in them and goes tits over teakettle in the middle of the dungeon/playspace, bursting the seams of her over-tightened corset and trashing her lovely taffeta skirt as well when she fell.

A friend of mine almost choked on his gag from laughing so hard. I was only momentarily distracted from "Idoru"... [;)]



earthycouple -> RE: Kinky Bloopers- you KNOW they happen (8/29/2007 8:27:09 AM)

My wonderful husband purchased one of those memory foam mattresses for me just prior to an encounter with someone and I had forgotten the sinking property of said mattress.

I often stand on top of the bed, over my victim.  Sometimes to take pictures of my work sometimes to reposition sometimes just to well, stand on him...I tried to stand up on the bed in 3 inch heels.  I found myself very unstable and fell toward him (nearly on) but caught myself somehow and regained balance.  I kick my shoes off now, damn it! *S*  I was quite happy he had been blindfolded but I am sure he could feel the movement and wondered what in the hell I was doing up there.



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