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CitizenCane -> RE: Looking for a certain Master (8/9/2005 6:35:20 PM)
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I'm not the one you're looking for, but I do have many years of experience with people with DID. It's a serious disorder, but highly responsive to appropriate treatment. By the same token, it's negatively responsive to inappropriate treatment.
I'm aware that D/s and BDSM can be very attractive to some people, or parts of people, with DID. Some alters get a sense of safety and security from submission, others whose function is controlling their environment can thrive in a more dominant role. Many parts have a love/hate fascination with various things that are reminiscent of their abuse. A significant danger of building a D/s relationship with a person with DID is that it will interfere with the healing process. Another is that activities in the relationship that trigger old trauma will cause the anger, fear, resentment, and other negative emotions associated with the original trauma to be transfered to the partner. A certain amount of this is inevitable in an intimate relationship with a multiple, but having a D/s relationship exacerbates the problems many fold. I would consider it 'not recommended'.
The above applies to relationships in which the partner is actually well-intentioned and caring. There is also a major danger of simply compounding the multiple's trauma with more abuse. Scenarios like that described by Sirrand would appear to fall into that category- although, to be fair, the way he talks about it leads me to think he's just describing some kind of fantasy- it doesn't correlate well with anything I know about DID, with or without hypnosis.
My advice, for it's worth, is to forget about doms that deal with DID and find therapists that deal with DID. Unfortunately, good therapists with an understanding of DID are relatively rare, although their numbers are growing. As for your own relationship- please focus on orderliness (without being rigid) and positive reinforcement. You really don't want to add fuel to the various fires that are burning under the surface. At the stage at which most people are diagnosed, the boundaries between identities are generally sharp and emotionally impenetrable, but this rapidly changes during healing. What excites one person is simultaneously terrifying someone else, and emotional and perceptual leakage begins to occur between identities. This leads to confusion, chaos, anger, resentment, and so on. Few relationships can survive the strain created this way. Much better to take a cautious, mutually supportive approach sufficiently flexible to allow what you don't already know (I promise, there's a lot of this) to come out into a freindly environment.
Cane
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