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RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 5:49:16 AM

SolangeRichards

Posts: 170
Joined: 5/8/2005
Status: offline

I think the crux of the issue is simple.......

There are men joining the site seeking an easy online sexual outlet. They wish to "hook up" online with women and explore their masturbatory fantasies on line. They utilize their free privileges to read profiles, download pictures and whip themselves into a frenzy over what they see and then become desirous of more "personal" interaction.

There's a problem though......their dream, their desire, is a professional, and they can't get what they want for free.

Well! This means war! Can you believe the impertinance! She wants to be paid to interact with THEM! The gall of her I tell you!

Just another case of men getting steamed that women aren't prostrating themselves at the alter of male supremacy and doing what they are told, when they are told, by a man.

If you don't want to pay, stay away from Pro-Dommes boys. They will understand if you are not interested......

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 21

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 5:57:34 AM

johnnyak

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline

hardbodysub said it best when he quoted,

"It's foolish to trust a so-called domme who asks for money before she's even given any evidence that she's real. Chances are that it's not a domme at all, but a fat, lazy, slovenly man sitting at his computer, trying to milk the suckers for whatever he can get. "

This comment is basically what it boils down to.Any joe could easily set up a profile claiming he is a Financial Domme.Im not knocking it,i just cant comprehend how a sub would send money without verification of who the fuck he is sending it to.Then again,its consensual adult activity so on a personal level i could'nt give a sh!t because i will never get involved in that side of the scene

< Message edited by johnnyak -- 8/29/2007 5:59:07 AM >

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 22

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 6:07:46 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

If someone doesn't know by now not to send someone they don't know money? then they are so dumb, I don't want to deal with them, and I definately hope that they don't reproduce/or havent already.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to johnnyak)

Post #: 23

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 6:36:50 AM

goddessAVA

Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline

let me guess-you are going after all those really hot chicks who take one look at you and say pony up babe, it would take MAJOR bank to let you even sniff my dirty feet......

WHYYYYYY wont they just take my service?????hmmmmm what a perplexing question.
in the words of Lydia Soprano "poor you"

_____________________________

Philadelphia's premier Enema Nurse
cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to ClandestinedOne)

Post #: 24

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 6:39:32 AM

moki1984

Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

personally I see non financial Dommes do not like financial Dommes.
deal with it, people are different.
I see nothing wrong with either accord personally, and some do require a tribute for the pleasure of speaking to that individual. Many subs actually enjoy that, hanging over money or a gift feels like they are handing over some of their power right off the bat

(in reply to MissL80)

Post #: 25

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 10:49:37 AM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

i am glad i inspired You Ma`am..... i await Your cheque £££ with baited breath

::twitch:::

I hate being called ma'am!!!!

I think, for that, you should be sending me a check!

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 26

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 10:51:29 AM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Adds.... if any Domina`s want to send me a tribute im cool with that

*rains paper money down around polite sub's head....

Neat! Monopoly monies!

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to YesMistressIrish)

Post #: 27

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 11:22:40 AM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ClandestinedOne

iammachine inspired me to write this, about the popular "something for nothing" attitude of some Dommes.
i beleive that in a D/s relationship, the service and submission of the bottom is the "payment" for the dominance and discipline of the Dominant, and vice versa. It's not a popular opinion, but i know, that when i serve i pour my heart into it, and when i try to get to know a Domme and She says "Oh, that'll be so and so amount of dollars for My services" i get offended, because i would pour as much into the relationship as She would.

That's just the thing though. For a person, who is actually seeking that, that's cool. But even where an exchange isn't transactional you are still investing something - time, energy, getting to know the person.

Every day I am indundated with emails from subs who are essentially saying, I want you to do me ohmigod please do me like this, but no I really don't care about your wants or your needs or where you're coming from, so long as you do meh!

That is the mentality that I'm referring to as "something for nothing". It's all about taking, no giving. Exchange? What exchange? That's just a one sided transfer - kinda vampiric if you ask me. Those subs are not wanting to "submit" for my benefit (or an at all mutual one), but for their own. And you know what? That's okay and it's perfectly natural to want things for yourself and to suit your own desires (if it doesn't please you on some level you, why are you here even if seemingly altruistic?) - but bloody be honest about it. Don't try to delude yourself or me as to what the motivations are, and don't expect me to feel the same way you do or feel inclined to participate - especially if there's absolutely nothing in it for me on any meaningful level. Let me note that I am not a pro (no qualms either, obviously), and that I am pretty relaxed about who I will play with (on some levels). But I can guarantee, if I play with someone, and the only sense I get from them is take take take gimme gimme gimme, odds are I'm going to be left with nothing but a bad case of top drop when all is said and done, and I won't want to play with that person again. Every scene has an exchange, the "currencies" are just different, and sometimes the balance is out of whack.

Now, as for transactional exchange of any sort: What possesses someone to contact someone they know from the get go is not compatible? If you are wanting a non-transactional exchange, why contact a financial domme or a pro domme? Why? It's not a matter of her being a bad guy - it probably says on her profile that that is the type of exchange she is seeking, but you didn't seem to be convinced of that. To quote some movie that I can't remember "You are not different. You are not special." You are subject to the same expectations that everyone else is. So in the case where the currency of an exchange clearly is not simply your service, then no, your submissions is not enough, and you've wasted everyone's time. I have no sympathy for foolishly self inflicted consequences.

--caveat--
You is a convenient and hypothetical pronoun, and thusly, no one in particular.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to ClandestinedOne)

Post #: 28

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 11:29:11 AM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

To me, the heart of the issue is that people are coming online and finding people that they're not interested in meeting/associating with - which isn't surprising, really. When was the last time you went to any large group and every last person was someone you liked and wanted to associate with and held the same moral values you did?

quote:

You may find them personally annoying and an insult to what you do, etc, but believe me - there's someone out there that feels the same way about you for reasons that they find perfectly valid.

I think I love you. :)

Thanks for saying what I had apparently failed to, and quite eloquently at that.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 29

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 11:41:33 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Okay so here's the personal story cuz it's already there for me and I like telling it....

Shes a ProDomme. She's also a lifestyle Domme...funny how that works out. Anyways...I met Her trying to get info on local events, one of which She started and I get info on an event She's doing then. Great wonderful wow. Tons of info and look it's a fundraiser and She's looking for toys to sell and goddamnit I run a fetish shop and my Daddy makes toys. Hot damn I can help Her out. But it's not really for Her it's a fundraiser. Okay square one. However my intent and effort has been established. So I got the company I work for sponsor the event and my Daddy to donate over a grand in toys to the event. Sweet I did something cool. She's still a Pro who isn't really looking to add to Her personal stable or whatever. My only hope still is cash payment and I'm damned poor.

I want this though...oh really? You need help painting Your house? And then moving in? Well I don't have the money to hire anyone but I can sure look for some friends and at the least come out there to help my self. What's the going rate for movers and painters these days....12-15 or some odd an hr? let's call it 13.50 even. So I work 120 hrs for Her in three weeks at 13.50/hr that leaves me with...1650 or some such and after tax that would be like 1100.

So I got all this work done and we're finally cleaning up at the site of the fundraiser and I gotta potty so I go and She follows me and I joke about having a time card and all and She says to me..."so how many months do I owe you?" and She laughs....and I say "how many do you want?"

"All of them"

Moral of the story...you gotta work for it period. Paying cash up front is just the short term way of doing it. The way of working it off takes longer. So you get to choose quick and expensive or slow and cheap. And hell this really aint all that cheap for me. She still gets my paychecks

(in reply to iammachine)

Post #: 30

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 11:58:59 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissL80

What do you think?
Can anything be done,except for staying real?

Commerical / Industrial domination is part of the online personals landscape. A guy finds out in short order that BDSM personals, unlike vanilla personals, also include a near 25-40% inclusion of classified listings.

Its a jarring experience and a downer for unintiated malesubs. Imagine going into yahoo personals only to find out half the women advertising there were really in the paid escort business. One's first thought is, should these paid escorts be here, and one's second thought is, how do I sort the personal ads from the classified ones.

One thing the pro dommes contribute to CM and Alt is a marketed sex appeal. Typically the pro's are young, dressed in fetish attire, ready to meet subs, and trained in their craft. In other words, they're quite alluring and probably attract a lot of eyeballs. So, there's a vested interest to have them sign up.

Anyway, I don't think anything can be done about the commercial mixing with the personal here. Next, there's really no harm in letting the members sort out who is who. Its not a difficult process. Furthermore, CM expressly advises folks not to send money to anyone they don't know or haven't met, in case anyone might be stupid enough to fall for a scam.

There's not point being bitter about anything. In this thread, I actually felt that a constituency of responders evinced more bitterness than you. Don't let it drag you down. We don't live in an ideal world, finding that out isn't such a bad thing.

(in reply to MissL80)

Post #: 31

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 11:59:48 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine

quote:

i am glad i inspired You Ma`am..... i await Your cheque £££ with baited breath

::twitch:::

I hate being called ma'am!!!!

I think, for that, you should be sending me a check!

No disrespect meant, i call every Domina Ma`am unless told otherwise.
i had a smile at "Monopoly Monies" we could consider it a practice run

(in reply to iammachine)

Post #: 32

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 1:07:01 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: iammachine

quote:

i am glad i inspired You Ma`am..... i await Your cheque £££ with baited breath

::twitch:::

I hate being called ma'am!!!!

I think, for that, you should be sending me a check!

No disrespect meant, i call every Domina Ma`am unless told otherwise.
i had a smile at "Monopoly Monies" we could consider it a practice run

No hard feelings,just mild twitching!

Ma'am just doesn't feel age appropriate for me. I don't mind Miss, though. I guess that's my ego talkin'.

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 33

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 2:29:45 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Yes Miss........understood......

(in reply to iammachine)

Post #: 34

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 2:48:43 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

personally I see non financial Dommes do not like financial Dommes.

Okay, I addressed this in a way on another thread once today but here someone has just gone and said it as a blanket statement. That really bugs me!

I am not a pro, just not my thing. Hell, I am pretty god damned inexperienced for a non pro. The thing is while I am sure that there are SOME non pros that do not like pros or SOME pros it does not apply to ALL. What I do have is a problem with assumptions based upon a narrow point of view.

There are some pros on here I have come to like very much, based upon what I know of them. I think what they do is actually pretty damned hot. I still don't want to do it but I obviously have no problem with those that do, what they do, how they do it or what they charge. Obviously they are enjoying their chosen career and obviously so are the people paying them. As far as I can tell it is a win/win situation.

Quit trying to colour ALL of us with the same crayons! It is ignorant and ridiculous.

edited because I am TRYING to stop mispelling ridiculous...........I do not know how or why I began doing it with an e but it bugs the shit out of me!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/29/2007 3:11:57 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 35

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 3:25:10 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Quit trying to colour ALL of us with the same crayons! It is ignorant and ridiculous.

Yeah! What she said! :)

_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 36

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 3:30:04 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

personally I see non financial Dommes do not like financial Dommes.

Okay, I addressed this in a way on another thread once today but here someone has just gone and said it as a blanket statement. That really bugs me!

I am not a pro, just not my thing. Hell, I am pretty god damned inexperienced for a non pro. The thing is while I am sure that there are SOME non pros that do not like pros or SOME pros it does not apply to ALL. What I do have is a problem with assumptions based upon a narrow point of view.

There are some pros on here I have come to like very much, based upon what I know of them. I think what they do is actually pretty damned hot. I still don't want to do it but I obviously have no problem with those that do, what they do, how they do it or what they charge. Obviously they are enjoying their chosen career and obviously so are the people paying them. As far as I can tell it is a win/win situation.

Quit trying to colour ALL of us with the same crayons! It is ignorant and ridiculous.

edited because I am TRYING to stop mispelling ridiculous...........I do not know how or why I began doing it with an e but it bugs the shit out of me!

And mispelling Misspelling.... < Smirks a tad >

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 37

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 3:33:15 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Oooooooooh shush!!!

Oh yeah, it was an abbreviation!! It looks silly spelled correctly........and that is my story.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/29/2007 3:34:34 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 38

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 3:35:43 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

shushes...

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 39

RE: Money from the start? What are they thinking? - 8/29/2007 5:07:58 PM

Solaise

Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

personally I see non financial Dommes do not like financial Dommes.

Okay, I addressed this in a way on another thread once today but here someone has just gone and said it as a blanket statement. That really bugs me!

I am not a pro, just not my thing. Hell, I am pretty god damned inexperienced for a non pro. The thing is while I am sure that there are SOME non pros that do not like pros or SOME pros it does not apply to ALL. What I do have is a problem with assumptions based upon a narrow point of view.

There are some pros on here I have come to like very much, based upon what I know of them. I think what they do is actually pretty damned hot. I still don't want to do it but I obviously have no problem with those that do, what they do, how they do it or what they charge. Obviously they are enjoying their chosen career and obviously so are the people paying them. As far as I can tell it is a win/win situation.

Quit trying to colour ALL of us with the same crayons! It is ignorant and ridiculous.

edited because I am TRYING to stop mispelling ridiculous...........I do not know how or why I began doing it with an e but it bugs the shit out of me!

Right on!!! I almost never comment on these threads because it is such an overdone topic. But there are ethical financial dommes, and completely unscrupulous lifestyle dommes, and vice-versa.

Same can be said of subs. Same can be said of Doms. There are those who are genuine to themselves and who and what they are, and there are those who are simply out to take advantage in one way or another.

I am not going to vilify someone for having a kink that I do not share. I am not going to get myself into a lather every time I read a profile that I don't like - and I certainly don't consider it a reflection of who "I" am because it's there. It's a public board. With a reusable BLOCK button, as well as a button that allows you to 'hide' those profiles that are so offensive.

I'm seeing red in the ridiculous

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 40

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