male inner strength (Full Version)

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lonewolf05 -> male inner strength (7/10/2005 3:04:46 PM)



my fellow male slaves/subs.

being an old street kid, i draw my inner strength from those days, growing up as an only child and a victim of many bullies.
now at over 50, i am told, by many others of this life AND life STYLE that i am 1 of a thousand. i draw my strength as a vanilla person. i post everything, AS a vanilla person. i think, feel and act, vanilla. i am ONLY submissive as a slave to MY Mistress online and in person to HER only.
no one gets me to grovel and kow tow just because they call themselves dominant in a post or in person.


if you as a male sub/slave have no resource for inner strength......WHERE and how DO you find your strength?

can you not stand up for yourself alone? do you NEED a dominant to draw strength from?


comments bro's?

thanks

the wolf



Omnesub -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 4:01:58 PM)

It almost seems as if you are saying that being “submissive” to others is a weakness. Would…being submissive at all be a weakness then?

But that brings up another question…something I am sure the “submissive handbook” could answer (if only I could find my copy).

Just what are the “requirements” for being submissive? I doubt groveling and protocol (calling someone Sir or Ma’am for example) are the key factors… I doubt it’s the inability to stand up for yourself also…

You say…as a vanilla person? But I wonder if you can’t be a submissive in the world. Like I said before…being submissive isn’t about kneeling on the ground humbly before your Dominant as you raise a glass above your head for him / her…or some other type of elaborate (perhaps infringing on a fantasy) effort. It’s not to say those things are bad…just saying they aren’t a requirement in a D/s relationship.

At a munch the submissives aren’t kneeling on the floor as their Dominants eat…they aren’t in chains or dressed up… but they don’t stop being a submissive …its just the kind of person they are.

If you run up and try to attack them…they also won’t cower in fear in the corner! *gasp* ((Note: I haven’t tried this :P )) They are still normal people…able to function…



lonewolf05 -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 9:14:31 PM)

this is all well and good. but i do not see where the questions are being answered and i am not going to be drawn into a word fight over this with you.

if you have an answer to YOUR inner strength please let us know where YOURS is.

i am trying to discover WHY i have been told by dominants that "I" am too strong for "Them". i get the impression by "Them" that most males are not as up in your face as i am in public, or online. they tend to cower back. AS i am TOLD to understand it to be.

thanks

the wolf



Omnesub -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 9:34:01 PM)

Oh, I didn’t mean to sound like I was trying to pick a word fight with you. :) Was just thinking out loud…then typing what I said…then posting it…heh heh.

I didn’t answer the inner strength question because…I don’t really understand what you mean by that. I just am as I am…normally quiet unless I have something to say…try to avoid unpleasant situations, but am capable of handling them should they arise. I’m not sure I draw any of that from anywhere; it is simply the way I have developed.

Hmm, resource for inner strength? … just really not sure what you mean, sorry :)



lonewolf05 -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 9:49:38 PM)

Hmm, resource for inner strength? … just really not sure what you mean, sorry :)


(in reply to lonewolf05)
Report | Post #: 4


=====================
trying to find out the level of alpha vs passive in each male. i am too alpha so i am told far far many males are too passive for dommes.
me on the other hand am told i am too alpha. i have too much inner strength for most dommes to handle.

thanks



perverseangelic -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 9:54:19 PM)

I'm not male, but this is something I've thought about a lot.

My submission isn't at odds with my strenght as a person. Like the OP I submit to one person, and the people that individual indicates. I submit to him because I've chosen to give my life to him.

The fact that my life belongs to someone else doesn't make me weak, nor does my service weaken me.

My life circumstances, while not as dire as many, have required me to develop personal resources and strenght in order to survive inside my own head. I think, for me, it comes from a LOT of reflection and introspection. As I know myself better, and understand what's going on in my brain, I am able to make a stand against the world. I -know- where I'm coming from, and I -know- why I'm there, so I'm able to justify myself, if you will. I am assured in my feelings and in my understanding of those feelings, so I don't feel compelled to believe anyone who tells me those feelings are invalid or wrong.

I think this is very helpful in terms of my submission. Because I understand who I am (at least right now), I am able to serve my partner with all of that person. Because I feel secure inmy understanding of self, adn my understanding of my submission, I am able to defend myself against individuals who challenge that.

Hrm. Dunno if that made sense. Ah well.



AAkasha -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 10:10:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

this is all well and good. but i do not see where the questions are being answered and i am not going to be drawn into a word fight over this with you.

if you have an answer to YOUR inner strength please let us know where YOURS is.

i am trying to discover WHY i have been told by dominants that "I" am too strong for "Them". i get the impression by "Them" that most males are not as up in your face as i am in public, or online. they tend to cower back. AS i am TOLD to understand it to be.

thanks

the wolf



If you are too "in your face" according to your previous relationships it might have nothing to do with inner strength. It can also be insecurity or self preservation. If your personality is brash, abrasive, inflexible -- those are traits that you may think portray strength, but they also are often unattractive and inappropriate.

Akasha



pandoravampire -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 10:38:47 PM)

Im a scary person to be around according to the people who dont know me, im brash, up front, culturally different from most females in this country, and NO WAY would i submit to just anyone.
Because i have these unattractive qualities (insights a wonderful thing!) i would view most Dom/mes as not strong enough to control me, they in turn would view me too 'unsubmissive' to wish to ever control me.

My answer: i found a Dom that seduced the submission from me. I found the one that fits ME. I may think, sod off at times, but i dont say that! Ive had learnt that i get far more by submitting, than i ever did being what politely could be described as 'bratty sub', but realistically was me refusing to submit. Assertion = no dominance in our dance. You must find your own.

good luck, not all Dom's want a doormat. Some like strength, independance, brains, mutual respect. It took me ages to learn that. Hope you can cut to the chase quicker than i could.




onceburned -> RE: male inner strength (7/10/2005 11:38:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05
if you have an answer to YOUR inner strength please let us know where YOURS is.

i am trying to discover WHY i have been told by dominants that "I" am too strong for "Them". i get the impression by "Them" that most males are not as up in your face as i am in public, or online.


My inner strength comes from my values and beliefs, and from years of enduring a rather difficult life (which has only strengthened my values and beliefs).

Wolf, I wonder if it is your outer strength that dominants are finding too strong. An alpha male behaves aggressively and he probably has inner strength but I don't think inner strength and behavior necessarily overlap.



lonewolf05 -> RE: male inner strength (7/11/2005 11:20:03 AM)

ya know chris, sometimes i think you live inside my head. damn bro. you have a better way of putting things than i do. and once again, you are right lil bud.

the wolf



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