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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 10:13:04 PM   
RRafe


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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 10:44:10 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


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quote:

In anyone's opinion is total compatibility ideal should such ever be found?
I think that would be nice, but possibly boring.  What I need is majority compatibility with someone who isn't too jaded from negative experiences, and agrees with me on the meaning of submission.   M

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 10:49:40 PM   
CuriousLord


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Status: offline 		I doubt compatiability is being more alike.  Two identical computer video cards aren't likely to be compatiable with eachother- at leat, not like the motherboard made to take it.

In the same way, compatiable individuals are good matches, not necessarily the same.

I doubt the physical possibility of flawless compatiability being anything more than utterly negligable.  Therefore, I doubt it's worth looking for.  Still, like many things, compatiability need not be flawless for us to consider it as being great.

The "opposites attract" saying is shit, to be blunt.  People who attract aren't opposites.  They're just unlikely to be the same.  So people often attract to those who aren't exactly the same as them- which is kind of obvious and what the whole "oppsites attract" thing is trying to refer to.

Personally?  My sub very, very different from me in many respects.  She's so... cheery.. giggles so much.. so full of life and happiness..  Hah, at times, I suppose I appreciate her emotions since I fear I'm often without them.  I'm quite happy with her, despite being nothing like her.

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/29/2007 11:31:18 PM   
Bobkgin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDraco7

Seeing that everyone is unique, finding total compatibility is something that might never happen.
When I say total compatibility I mean mostly in a vanilla sense, having all the same likes interests and hobbies.
I also know that compatibility matters to everyone in some part.

My question is do you seek or desire someone who is as close to you in interests as you are able to find?
if you seek suck do you fear that it ever might become too much?

If you are in a couple already, do you ever wish you were more alike?  Ever wish you were less alike?

In anyone's opinion is total compatibility ideal should such ever be found?

I'm curious and interested on hearing peoples thoughts and experiences about this.  thank you.  :)



I believe in a Master/slave relationship where "total compatibility" exists, for his interests are her interests.

Yes, this is what I seek, and when I've experienced it in the past, it was ideal for myself and my slave.

I do not "fear" that it may never happen again. It will if Love decrees it (as a pagan, my spiritual faith is in Love, aka Gaia, the Life Force, etc).

I live in a universe that cannot be predicted, but can be counted upon to move and inspire each of us according to our gifts and our awareness of Love within us.

So yes, I seek total compatibility, and leave it to the universe to decide my fate.

And just as I have faith in Love, so too would an act of compromise be a betrayal of that faith: a betrayal against the Beloved I believe awaits me.

I will never find her if I give up my search for her before finding her.

Compromise isn't an option, when you have faith in Love.

< Message edited by Bobkgin -- 8/29/2007 11:32:21 PM >

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/30/2007 2:14:54 AM   
littlebitxxx


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Status: offline 		Revel in the commonalities and celebrate the differences.  Too much the same can be boring (familiarity breeding contempt) and too much different can be hard to overcome.

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RE: Total compatibility? - 8/30/2007 3:31:40 AM   
Driver1961


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Long term Compatibility can be apples and oranges or the 'bobsey twins' but it's the ingredients of 'His Songstress' which in my opinion are based upon the equality or definite close similarity to each others values regardless of how many interests are similar or not. 

The embracing of similar values promotes the healthy respect required to adapt to changes in each other's thinking, as one changes from the myriad of experiences one encounters in life as individuals and as a coupling.  This I regard as the key foundation to longetivity. 

Of course from personal experience - a liking of kinky experimentation and a touch of exhibitionism  are part of the similar likes!  If the committment to work together to succeed is present,  the limits are way past a liking for wielding or receiving a flogger!




quote:

Yes, I think that this is vital........

I liked these definitions of compatibility:

  • a feeling of sympathetic understanding
  • capability of existing or performing in harmonious or congenial combination
    wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

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    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/30/2007 5:57:44 AM   
    adoracat


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    one of the concepts i've been kicking about in my mind for a while is "puzzle pieces".  you ever hug up against someone, and they're awkward, and you're awkward and its all uncomfortable?

    and another person....and its like you were cut from the same slice of fabric, every little bit of you fits up against every little bit of them, its like coming home?

    those are the puzzle pieces.  personalities can be like that too.  where you fit so well that its like finding your other half?   but its ok, you dont have to like all the same things, and sometimes its good to be apart so you can appreciate coming back together again....

    that, to me, is what feels wonderful.

    kitten, who is lucky to have had that with several people...

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    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/30/2007 12:36:46 PM   
    Switchblayde


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    Status: offline     		Master and I have many of the same fetishes and interests but not all. It would be unreasonable and unlikely if we did. There are, however enough meeting points to make us more than compatible.
    Within bdsm, I have a passion for whips which he doesn't share but he's happy to loan me out. Other fetishes we share, more or less equally. Compromise is as important as compatibility.
    Outside of bdsm, we have many similar interests.....and he's a lot taller than me!


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    RE: Total compatibility? - 8/30/2007 8:57:02 PM   
    arayofsunshine55


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    Status: offline     		Compatibility.  Some things are negotiable and some are not.  I'm a realist as well as a romantic.  Total anything is just not a goal.

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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/8/2007 11:09:47 PM   
    mystiquenz


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    Status: offline     		Greetings,

    an interesting question or sets of questions. 

    Compatibility, the tall and the short, the fat and the lean, i think compatibility is balance.  For me, in my world, compatible means, intellectually, emotionally and physically.  That's a fairly tall order, and I hope I am on a journey where my search has been concluded but time will tell.  

    I wonder what the motivation was for the post.


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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/8/2007 11:30:25 PM   
    iammachine


    Posts: 1549
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    Status: offline     		No two people are going to be exactly alike. Even if such a thing did exist, I imagine it would be very boring.

    Personally, I seek out people that have enough common ground to where we can see eye to eye on important things well enough to get along. Outside of that, I appreciate differences for what they are, and I enjoy the opportunity to grow and experience new things and perspectives - regardless of whether or not they end up suiting me personally in the long run.


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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/8/2007 11:30:55 PM   
    teamnoir


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    Status: offline     		I think it's important in each relationship to have time, interests, and pursuits apart from each other as well as in common. People who spend too much time together tend to get into emotional fusion and stop being attracted to each other.

    What I'm looking for is someone with "enough" common interests that we can build an interesting relationship. I don't expect to get all of my needs met by any single person, so that's not even a desire, much less a requirement. Rather, I'm looking for someone with whom I can meet enough needs that including them in my life improves my life more than not.

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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/9/2007 2:24:18 AM   
    MasterFireMaam


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    Status: offline     		I don't feel that any one person can meet 100% of my wants, needs and desires. I look for what I consider to be a decent match when I start a new relationship. I can't quantify what percentage of shared likes and dislikes is a decent match...it just has to be significant in some way. Each person in my life meets a different set of needs. Sometimes, there it overlap, sometimes there is not.

    Master Fire


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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/9/2007 6:23:49 AM   
    Merritt27


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    < Message edited by Merritt27 -- 9/9/2007 6:25:46 AM >

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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/9/2007 6:24:54 AM   
    Merritt27


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Merritt27

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: mmsprecious
    we share a lot of the same interests but have enough differences to make life interesting. i think that is "total" compatibility


    I agree with precious....

    K and I are a lot alike and have many of the same interests...so much so  that we have a tendancy to talk each other into things.  BUT we also have enough differences in things we like to do, read, watch, discuss that it keeps things fresh and NEVER boring. 



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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/10/2007 9:22:20 PM   
    darbyib6ub9


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    Status: offline     		Total compatibility Is hard 2 find. Ideal is what you believe ideal to be. So I leave you with a question instead of answers. What do you consider to be ideal in a relationship? I wish I could help more. TC.
    Darby

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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/11/2007 8:19:46 AM   
    murmur


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: KatyLied

    I would not be able to handle the boredom that would come from total compatibility.  I want a partner who can share new things with me, I want to develop new interests and hopefully he does too.  And we don't have to do everything together, that would drive me nuts.   So, I would like to have some shared interests, but not all shared interests. 


    what she said

    Also, sometimes the compability come from being able to complete one interest with another and that's when it become interesting to mix things together.

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    Profile   Post #: 37
    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/11/2007 8:22:50 AM   
    RRafe


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    quote:

    ORIGINAL: murmur

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: KatyLied

    I would not be able to handle the boredom that would come from total compatibility.  I want a partner who can share new things with me, I want to develop new interests and hopefully he does too.  And we don't have to do everything together, that would drive me nuts.   So, I would like to have some shared interests, but not all shared interests. 


    what she said

    Also, sometimes the compability come from being able to complete one interest with another and that's when it become interesting to mix things together.


    yes......when I see a slave say something like "I want to totally lose myself into my master,and becme a part of him" I shudder.

    F**king sadists.

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    RE: Total compatibility? - 9/11/2007 11:19:30 AM   
    phoenixsub999


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    Status: offline     		It would be better if basic core beliefs and outlook are compatible, but not necessarily exactly the same - it's good to have a debate that opens up your mind to different viewpoints. Basically, I want to be a healthy, whole person myself with my own identity (I don't want to 'lose myself' either - it took so long to find myself, lol!) and interests and my partner as well so that when we come together we are something more rather than two fragile halves that 'make one'.

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