An apple a day keeps the paddle away (Full Version)

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OverlordAlpha -> An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 2:49:45 AM)

Have you ever agreed to a weight-loss plan set forth by a master and how did it go?

Alpha



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 5:20:26 AM)

I've never had a specific plan laid out for me, though that might be a good idea. I have been given general ideas and suggestions and told to run with it. So far I've had some progress but allow other things to take priority when life is busy (and it always is).



fourpeas -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 8:06:05 AM)

I haven't been put on a weight loss plan, because I happen to be really poor right now and am really struggling paying bills (who isn't)

I have been put on an eating plan though where I have to eat healthy or I am in BIG TROUBLE. Like, the biggest trouble you can think of. I collapsed this fall because of low iron in my blood and since then I've had iron-deficient anemia.

My Dom is on me all the time asking what I've eaten. It's hard because I am Italian and he doesn't understand my need to eat pasta (cheap!) ha ha ha...

But anyways, I've been put on the eating plan by him and I definitely just view it as another aspect of my service. It's also nice sometimes to give some of that control over to him since I sure would just eat pasta and peanut butter if it were up to me. He's made me see that keeping myself at my best shape is a direct service to him.

I think it could work as long as both parties are clear about it and neither partner is coming from a place of judgment of the other... He, for instance, doesn't tell me what to eat, but he does make sure I eat healthy. I would imagine that a weight-loss plan could work like that as well.

I am sure there are many Dom/mes out there who could come up with some REALLY good ideas for the "exercise" portion of the program... [:D]



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 8:14:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fourpeas
I think it could work as long as both parties are clear about it and neither partner is coming from a place of judgment of the other...

Why shouldn't it come from a place of judgement? Isn't it his job to judge my behavior and progress as appropriate or inappropriate?



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 5:18:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Why shouldn't it come from a place of judgement? Isn't it his job to judge my behavior and progress as appropriate or inappropriate?


I believe the point fourpeas was trying to make was that if it came from a point of judgement that was damaging to a sub's self-esteem it may interfere with the positive aspects of the relationship...Perhaps leading the sub to feel they were not attractive or sexy. This could cause increased body image problems and/or fear of failure, that might make things less pleasant for everyone.

As for the original question...I believe that it can be a very good idea, if it's approached from the angle of health and nutrition and definitely as a service to the dominant - care of property, and making the sub more enjoyable as a toy - re: flexibility and energy.

My suggestion here would be that the dominant be sure to encourage, praise, and support in a big way. Many of us with lifelong weight issues have emotional and mental scars from dieting, criticism, and failure to lose, no matter what we do. A dominant must take care not to trigger these, as it will likely end in failure and frustration.

Improving one's body is never simple or easy, so a wise dominant might be well advised to do a lot of research, if they haven't dealt with a weight problem themselves.

All in all, I support this idea, as a suggetion from a partner of mine 18 months ago led to my taking on a lifestyle change in eating habits that I will forever benefit from.

Cin



perverseangelic -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 7:17:18 PM)

To me, that would destroy my self esteem.

However, this is soley a personal thing. I have crappy self esteem as it is, and one of the reason's it's where it is now is that my partner has told me he supports and loves me unconditionally and thinks I am physically beautiful just as I am.

He supports my weight loss efforts, but doesn't require them, because in my personal situation that would be severely deterimental.



babebirdy -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 7:27:09 PM)

I to understand the poor self-esteem thing, I have been fighting it most of my life, I recently did succeed in losing a lot of weight (almost 100lbs) and I still can't see myself as attractive most of the time.

But I am not sure I could handle, in fact I know I couldn't, being told I had to lose weight or be punished in some way. I would still like to lose more weight but have been at a stand still for a while, but while I want to serve my Master and take care of His property I still have to do it for me.



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 10:59:07 PM)

You two raise a good point...this is something that could only be attempted if the sub felt good about what the dominant was wanting to do.

Myfirst dom put in some serious time making me comfortable with my body the way it was...that paved the road for being able to accept it when my more recent partner suggested I work on eating healthier and dropping a few pounds.

To clarify, he was concerned about recent comments I'd made about my feet hurting, and at my age, and with my family history we both knew diabetes is a huge risk for me.

Coming from that angle it made me feel loved, not unattractive.

Cin



imtempting -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/11/2005 11:13:09 PM)

Lol weight loss I should be put on a weight gain diet. :O I was told to eat healthier and eat more carbs in the arvo as I would fall asleep and be tired everywhere. Also on multi-vitamins. Helped alot.

Why do you want them to lose weight?



OverlordAlpha -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 2:38:07 AM)

I'm just asking in general. I feel it is something I can provide guidance on because I have lost a lot of weight myself. I also prefer women who are of an average or slimmer weight. I would train an overweight slave if she wanted to lose weight and I would put her on a plan. Otherwise, I wouldn't take her as a slave. I like girls who look healthy, not overweight, but not anorexic--just a healthy weight.

Alpha



suberic101 -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 3:41:52 AM)

Weight loss? You kidding me? They amost didn't let me go to boot camp cause i was 'underwieght'. Sorry:)



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 5:32:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
in the arvo

In the arvo OMG! You really are Aussie!



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 6:49:18 AM)

Losing weight can and is a very sensitive issue, specially within the scene.

However, when a sub or slave says "I will obey and change my behavior through training because I want to be as pleasing as possible" it doesn't make sense to then turn around and say "But I won't let you change my diet or excersize habits" unless perhaps that sub put them as a hard limit to begin with.

Like anything, training can be hard, it can push you. People love talking about pushing limits with scenes, but when it comes to real life hard stuff, they balk. Forcing you to see and change yourself is a LONG process, and if we can assume that a dominant is responsible enough to make life decisions, why wouldn't they be responsible enough in this arena as well?



imtempting -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 6:59:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
in the arvo

In the arvo OMG! You really are Aussie!


Yep im aussie and tomorrow night im going to throw a shrimp on the barbie :P Then go and feed my kangroos and dingos :P



OsideGirl -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 7:43:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OverlordAlpha

I would train an overweight slave if she wanted to lose weight and I would put her on a plan.
Alpha


Perhaps a trip to the doctor would be better than someone with no training determining what's best. I struggled for years before I was diagnosed with a hereditary condition that effects my Endocrine system. Diet and excercise did nothing. I have to use a specific eating plan and a prescription medication to live a healthy lifestyle.

Matter of fact, most people's idea of "healthy" eating would be extremely detrimental to me.



Gemeni -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 8:46:01 AM)

I feel the same way-morbid obesity is unhealthy.

It's really going to depend entirely on if the woman has an eating disorder.

But I prefer they have the attitude that they are doing it for themselves with my help. Rather than as a condition of ownership.




naughtinicki -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 2:26:08 PM)

My Master has never had a plan as such to help me lose weight and like one of the comments already stated.... He has spent a lot of time and effort reinforcing positively that I am one very beautiful woman....... all the way through.

But W/we both know that I need to lose weight as I am asthmatic and type 2 diabetic. And its for these health reasons alone that I KNOW I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

And its the reinforecement that I can do this that my Master helps me with. He does not do the `you will lose 3 pounds by this time next week or else" routine as W/we both know this just backfires. Nobody I believe can be made to lose wieght this way.

It has to come about by

1) a change in ones thinking

2) a change of lifestyle - diet and exercise.

The encouragement and reward I get through my weight lose is the congratulations on reaching attainable targets ........ that of the weight I lose stays off.......... however small.

And the reinforcement that beauty lies not only within what I see in the mirror every day but in the way I live my life....... and the real person that I am. If I never lose another pound I will forever in His eyes be the same.



bottominwa -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 2:57:56 PM)

i had gestational diabetes during both of my pregnancies. When i had the baby girl i had gained nearly 120lbs in the pregnancy while He was in Georgia for training and Master was heading off for a year long tour to Korea...i think He was very terrified i might gain another hundred lbs out of despair while He was gone...so...He bought me a treadmill, and every night, (His night my morning) He called me and told me to wake up and get on the treadmill....and i did out of obedience. He made me purchase all the groceries on Our visa account, and then would go through the itemization of what was bought through pay services at Providian...and send me email about any mistakes i had made in my diet purchases. He also enlisted the tattle tale...our son who was six at the time, to tell Him if i was eating poorly. i was not allowed to send Him any pictures during this time, so the possibility to lie was there...and i think He half suspected i was...i mean who actually gets on a treadmill seven days a week and eats 1200 cals a day, period. Me, that's who...lmao. The process actually helped me make it through another long time alone...with a brand new baby to boot...gave me something to focus on...and passed the time.

When He came home for midtour...at seven months i had lost 90lbs and lost the last 30lbs in the remaining time He was gone. And the look on His face when He came through customs at Seatac at midtour was well worth the countless hours on the treadmill...and the "that's a good girl" as He looked me over was enough incentive to keep it off these past five years.

Keeping it off seems much harder to me then losing it was, especially with the stress of the War and the lengthy deployments....but all i do is try to be as physical as possible....park far out at the mall etc....walk to the grocery store if i can carry whatever i purchase back...bike everywhere that sort of thing.

sabrina King



perverseangelic -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 3:35:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
However, when a sub or slave says "I will obey and change my behavior through training because I want to be as pleasing as possible" it doesn't make sense to then turn around and say "But I won't let you change my diet or excersize habits" unless perhaps that sub put them as a hard limit to begin with.


I would NEVEr tell my partner 'no, you can't tell me to do that.' That's just silly to me.

However, him telling me I -must- lose weight would destroy my self esteem. I'm working on losing weight, but only with his uconditional support am I able to do it without feeling horrid.

I think, for me, it's about needing someone that loves me as I am, not as how I could be. I would be less hurt by someone saying "I'd like you to work on making your diet better balance." because the focus then is on health, not on my physical appearance.

I have no illusions about the fact that I'm curvy verging on fat. However, I couldnt' be with someone who needed me put on a diet before he/she'd look at me.

This is rambly. My point is that while I would never, ever tell my partner "no, I won't do this b/c you say so" one of the reasons we work so well together is that he knows the places I need support and the places that I'm totally non-senstive about.

(Incedentally, it's really hard ot try to eat healthier when your partner can eat ANYTHING and remain stick thin. I've recnetly lost nearly 15lbs, but it's hard b/c he needs to eat SO MUCH to retain a healthy weight, while I need to eat virtually nothing to lose. ARGH!)



OverlordAlpha -> RE: An apple a day keeps the paddle away (7/12/2005 3:54:33 PM)

Thank you. You've all brought up some very good points and were quite insightful. If I had to train someone in weight loss, I know I would do it with the mindframe of encouragement and discipline. The idea is actually to increase self-esteem rather than diminish it. My self-esteem rose significantly as I lost weight. It is a very touchy subject however, and some people just don't want to deal with the reality that they are grossly and dangerously overweight. First it's about acceptance, then it's about thinking--okay what I can do about this? And Osidegirl mentioned talking to a doctor first, which is a very important point that I will keep in mind.

Alpha



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