.isolation.

.isolation. (Full Version)

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RCdc -> .isolation. (8/31/2007 4:17:58 PM)
Living in isolation - to me - is a red flag. If someone is living or chooses to live in isolation, a person who closes the door and any communication to anyone who may not agree. Sometimes in my past, I closed the door. I go to my room and wallow. I am not afraid to admit that I have isolated myself and it sucked. The paranoia that creeps in is frightening. The only thing you learn is that your afraid of life and what is really out there. But when you open yourself and remove the isolation, you start to learn so much more. You blossom and sometime you falter, but you pick yourself back up again and you don't stagnate. Locked away in your own little world, you don't grow. Sometimes, you see posts about dominants who like to isolate their s-types because it's good for them. How can that be possible? What about those that lock themselves away and create the 'them and us' war? Isn't that a competetion of sorts? A couple of recent threads made me type this. I don't even know what I am asking really or if there is any answer so if anyone does respond it's a plus. It's probably pretty pointless as a post and just random thoughts only relevant to me and it's late and Darcy is across the water in another country and I feel slightly isolated. And it sucks. Peace the.dark.

EternalInferno -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 4:32:21 PM)
I believe in living life to the fullest. You can't do that isolated. I'm with you thedark... major red flag!

RRafe -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 4:33:41 PM)
I can see it being of value to get rid of toxic sorts that make a person ill. (Like nuerotics,emotional vampires,etc....) Some relationships really are quite sick-it might be an act of love to keep such individuals at a safe distance. Especially if the person being made ill by such has difficulty with saying no. But not ALL-that would be a red flag to me.

celticlord2112 -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 4:35:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Sometimes, you see posts about dominants who like to isolate their s-types because it's good for them. How can that be possible? What about those that lock themselves away and create the 'them and us' war? Isn't that a competetion of sorts? It's possible because doms will wield power...just not always wisely. The mindset of "us vs them" is competition gone to the dark side, I believe. It is one thing to compete to push the bar of excellence ever higher. It is quite another to wish your competitor did not exist. When competitive spirit leads to wishing another being harm, the core of one's competitive energies has been corrupted, thus moving all of us farther from excellence rather than closer to it. Which seems like as good an opportunity as any to quote Surak: "The Spear in the Other's Heart Is the Spear in Your Own You are He"

kyraofMists -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 4:47:08 PM)
I don't think that isolation in and of itself is bad. The motivation behind the reason to isolate is the deciding factor for me if it is a bad thing or not. The big appeal to our family with his new job that required us (I say us because I will be moving there as well) to move 6 hours north was to seperate ourselves from the community and extended family members. We all want that to give ourselves a chance to focus on relationship and continue to build a strong core unit. We will continue to attend large events when the opportunities present themselves; we will continue to participate on the boards to hear others and expose ourselves to different ideas and ways of doing things. However, the majority of our time will be focused on the three of us and the rugrats. If someone who is close minded and not willing to open themselves up to new ideas, opinions and ways of doing things, then does it really matter if they are involved with other people or if they isolate themselves? The end product is the same, a closed mind that does not grow and evolve. I think it all comes down to motivation. If you are isolating out of fear and not being able to handle views that differ from your own, then I don't think that is a good thing. If you are isolating yourself to give you time to grow and build a strong inner core before ending your isolation, the that can be rather healthy. Not sure if I explained that well or not... Knight's Kyra

Level -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 4:48:08 PM)
Hello, pretty lady. I would say that there can be growth in isolation, depending on why the isolation came about. Some of that growth can be positive, and some of it can be stunted, perhaps unnatural.

EternalInferno -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 4:57:46 PM)
Isolating someone and isolating for a purpose are far different things. I isolate often, but to isolate someone or isolate out of fear or for some sort of protective measures that are unrealistic are scary red flags to me. Isolating for personal reflection or growth can be a healthy thing, the other could be a deadly thing, one way or another.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:00:26 PM)
fast reply I agree with Kyra,its not the isolation but the reasons behind it that would raise a flag.

Joseff -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:04:29 PM)
Self imposed isolation is not always a bad thing, but in every case I have ever encountered, being isolated by a partner in a relationship is aways a bad thing. Isolation is a way of controlling, not good controlling. Seperating someone from bad influences is not isolation, cutting someone off from everyone and everything familiar is. Just my view on things. Joseff

CreativeDominant -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:09:21 PM)
I isolate myself sometimes...to reflect on new things I have learned or am attempting to learn (such as my new practice software...ughhhhh. Any service submissives just dying to offer data entry service? I promise coffee and a few "good girls" [:)] Hmmmmmmmm...no takers), to organize my thoughts, to bring my own stress levels down by reading or listening to music, etc.. The idea of teaching a submissive something I think is important and then, isolating her away from distractions for a defined period in order to process things more completely seems reasonable to me. To isolate her from the computer if she spends entirely too much time on it in a way that is neither healthy or helpful to her or to the relationship seems sensible to me. But... To keep her away from contact with others, as long as they are not toxic to her or to me or to our relattionship, seems like a big red flag. While I enjoy my time away from the human race after a day or a week of dealing with the public...and a public that is not feeling all that good for the most part when they are in my office...I don't want to cut myself off from the world and neither do I want to cut a submissive off from the world. I would expect a submissive to call me on it if I attempted it and in all honesty, would not allow her to do it to me.

TheIslandofO -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:15:16 PM)
Wow, I could not disagree more with this thread. Isolation can fulfill many aspects of ones life. Some four greatest scholars,scientists,poets,artisans,mathematicians physicists, among others remained for years in isolation. As for myself, isolation lends itself to inner growth as does with my slaves who do not need outside drama or disturbances to skew the focus of the slave. My experience has taught me that if you allow those outside into your business they will do a fine job of mucking it up as long as you will allow it. As for being locked away in your own world you do not grow, Only if you so choose to not grow. You might want to spend some time in a shaolin temple to understand That growth comes from with in not from outside sources.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:26:44 PM)
Just to be clear...I dont think isolation is always bad. I also isolate Myself at times.I would think that most people do at some point(s) in their life. Some of the reasons why people isolate themselves or others is what tends to raise a flag.

celticlord2112 -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:32:41 PM)
There is a difference, I think, from the physical separatedness you describe and isolating oneself in an "us vs them" rhetoric. To retreat from the chaos of the everyday world for reflection, meditation, and insight, is far from a bad thing. It is palliative and even instructive, as you so eloquently pointed out. Moreover, such retreat, while separating from the world, is hardly a condemnation of the world; indeed, such retreat ultimately has as a goal that which could benefit the world. To retreat from the world in disgust and despair, however, is something else altogether. Isolating the body is not inherently evil; isolating the mind and the soul....that idea fills me with unease.

ownedgirlie -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:49:50 PM)
Sometimes the only way to truly reflect inward, and cleanse from outside forces, is to be isolated for a time. I disagree with the statement claiming there is no growth when isolated. Maybe for some this is true, but it is not a universal truth for all. I think for some people, there are good and healthy reasons for it. For others, perhaps not. As someone who was isolated far too long in the past, I am no longer allowed to isolate myself any longer than he thinks is healthy for me. Usually it's only short periods of time. But I can't make a blanket statement that is unhealthy for everyone. If a Master's intentions are good, he may choose to isolate his slave for reasons only known to them, or even to him. And it really might be in her best interest at the time. As an outside observer, I feel it would be really inappropriate of me to declare his decision unhealthy for her at the outset. There are things Master has done to me that others have thought unhealthy and they were the best things for me. It really depends on the person, his/her state of mind, and the reason and length of said isolation. It's not for me to say.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:54:57 PM)
I have to say that right now, isolation is looking pretty damn good. Hey Darcyandthedark. You are lonely and feeling isolated. Care to cuddle?

Rover -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 5:56:26 PM)
Does that mean I should let those girls out of my basement? John P.S. - Don't let the levity detract from my agreement.

earthycouple -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 6:03:11 PM)
John...if they are together in the basement, they are not isolated. S

Perplex -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 6:04:31 PM)
Isolation and a little starvation is one of the fastest way to create a "real slave"...read the books on how africans were broke in the american south, it is one of the methods used for those who refused to bow..somewhere after whipping and before hanging as example to the rest. you can break anybody with these two things. I mean anybody and the reason Dom's have used it in the past (with what was said above well remembered, cuz as others ahve pointed out it is so easy to abuse even by accident) is if you are the only thing your sub sees, you become thier only truth so whatever your gig is possible to get no matter how the sub might feel about it as the sub displaces reality for the reality you want the sub to know.

slavegirljoy -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 6:05:44 PM)
i think you explained your thoughts very well, especially about the motivation behind self-isolation. And, i think you are so right about the isolation that comes from a closed mind and an unwillingness to even consider other possibilities, outside of the ones you already have. This shuts the door on any personal growth, as far as i'm concerned, and when you stop growing and learning, i feel that you are not fully living. But, then again, i am addicted to learning as much as i can about as many things as i can. So, this is obviously a very biased opinion, on my part. Also, some people, i think because they start to fear rejection and abandonment so much, start to shut themself off from other people, on an emotional level. And, i don't think that's a healthy thing to do, at least not for very long. When i was a child, i used to love to go and sit in our big black walnut tree in our backyard, all alone, just to get away from the chaos and noise and negativity that was so pervasive in my house. i would sit in that tree for hours, until way past dark, as a 9, 10, 11 year old, until it got too cold and i would have to go back inside. It was my escape from what i felt was a very unhappy place. It gave me a chance to keep my sanity through a lot of turmoil. This "self isolation" tactic that i used as a child allowed me to stay safe and sane until i was old enough to get out of that mess and be able to determine, for the most part, which people i wanted to be around. i was never a "loner", not even as a kid, and i have always enjoyed being around people i consider to be positive to my well-being. i don't like to be around people i consider to be negative. So, i seek out people with positive energy and outlooks and try to stay away from the constant complainers and blamers. i think it's good to have a balance between "alone time" and "people time." Isolation isn't all bad and sometimes i actually crave it, whether it is to go out into the woods for a few days and live out of a tent or, simply be put in the basement for a few hours. Just my personal views.......Thank you for bringing this topic up. i think it is an interesting and important issue to talk about. slave joyOwned property of Master David_______________________________________ "I'll go stand in the corner later for my punishment." "I'm not very good at giving myself punishment." quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists I don't think that isolation in and of itself is bad. The motivation behind the reason to isolate is the deciding factor for me if it is a bad thing or not. If someone who is close minded and not willing to open themselves up to new ideas, opinions and ways of doing things, then does it really matter if they are involved with other people or if they isolate themselves? The end product is the same, a closed mind that does not grow and evolve. I think it all comes down to motivation. If you are isolating out of fear and not being able to handle views that differ from your own, then I don't think that is a good thing. If you are isolating yourself to give you time to grow and build a strong inner core before ending your isolation, the that can be rather healthy. Not sure if I explained that well or not... Knight's Kyra

Rover -> RE: .isolation. (8/31/2007 6:17:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: earthycouple John...if they are together in the basement, they are not isolated. S Good point!!! Boy, am I relieved. John

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