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A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 12:31:53 PM   
BDsbabygirl


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Please forgive me if I'm posting at the wrong board but nowhere else (like "Off-Topic") seemed quite right, either...

Has anyone here accomplished dream control to the point where you can usually control them? If so, did you find that you were able to solve a real-life problem with its usage?

See, here's the thing (and this is where the subject matter gets maaaybe relevant) -- I am having trouble orgasming with my Dom. We've tried all kinds of stuff and it's only rare that I cum with him, and frankly, we're both to the point of sheer frustration. Sooo, I figured that if I could learn to control my dreams to the point that I'm having wet dreams involving him 2/x a nite for a couple of weeks, my mind and body will be used to it and I'll come with him. Isn't this like 'conditioning', the idea upon which orgasm control is built?

If anyone here has experience with dream control, I'd love your thoughts on this. Thank you.

_____________________________

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 12:45:20 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Humm..interesting thought..However ,I am of a more prosaic bent..Essentially, why not look into it through Google?...see what is out there concerning this particular thought process..look under dreams or dream control..look into sexual dreams, explore it all...with that in mind..you may also want to simply stop having the orgasm be the goal..enjoy what all else is there, quit getting the frustration you experience by not orgasaming, quit stressing on that particular event..the more you focus upon this ,the less chance you will have to obtain it.Have you cum while masturbating?..you may try to also research your own body to find that which gets you to cum..then you can show him the spot or movements that it may take to get you to that orgasm...But you may also try to avoid the cheering statements from him, that may also pressure you and drive the orgasm away..You know those statements I mean ie:.."cum for me baby, you can do it, CUM!!!!"..too much pressure and stress..I hope what I have suggested will help..be well/Tempting

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 1:25:05 PM   
BDsbabygirl


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Thanx, TemptingNviceSub, I have looked up dream control but don't feel comfy posting to the boards, what with the subject matter beingnwhat it is.

As for my orgasm problem, I would love to just let it go, but he won't. After our last session, he was really down and it opened up a talk about how difficult it is for me to cum. I told him that I love the journey and am not concerned with the end. He understands and will lay off the pressure, but still very badly wants me to meet with the big one. So even if he does lay off, I'll still [mentally] know that's what he wants and will still feel pressure. *sigh* Why must some men be on such an ego trip about these things?

< Message edited by BDsbabygirl -- 9/2/2007 1:33:25 PM >

_____________________________

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Collared by Master Big Daddy on Monday, 7/23/07 at 2:35pm

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 1:25:23 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, my Master has influenced my dreams.  I have had a horrible and gruesome recurring nightmare since I was a small child.  It usually happened in times of stress.  It's the same dream, and I would wake up in an anxiety attack as a result.  If I dared to fall back asleep, the dream would continue. 

The connection I have with him is quite intense.  The last time I had the dream, he ordered me to stop having it, giving me the edict that I will not have this dream anymore.  I chuckled a bit, thinking that would be cool, but unlikely.  The next time I started having the dream, just as it started, a thought came into my head while in the dream:  "I'm not supposed to have these dreams anymore." and I woke up.  I have not had the dream since, and that was 2 years ago.

He will sometimes instruct me to dream about him.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.  Usually when it does not, it's because I haven't reached a good REM sleep where I can dream at all (I have sleep issues).  I attribute his influence over my dreams to the connection and bond we have in our relationship.  In many ways, he really is in me and a part of me.  We practice energy transferring quite a bit, and his energy is in me. And while that's a different subject, I think it plays a part in his influence over my dreams.

However, I saw an interesting movie - it's in DVD form, called Waking Life.  It's a philosophical "film" about lucid dreaming - the ability to direct where your dreams go, set in various sketches.  The premise is the about a man who shuffles through different dreams, asking existential and philosophical questions - Are we dreaming through life or living through dreams, and what power do we have over each?  It doesn't answer these questions, but leaves them out there for the audience to consider.  It's mostly dialogue, and done in rotoscope form (animation traced over digital film).  And it has a cool sound track.  You might want to see about renting this, or picking it up at Amazon.

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 1:32:47 PM   
xolarkinxo


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.lucidity.com/

Controlling your dreams is called lucid dreaming.  It is something I can do at times; but, not all the time.  It was something I learned how to do as a child because I was having bad dreams alot and this was a way to make them stop.  I have intentionally solved problems through dreams by thinking about said problem prior to falling asleep.  It does not always work on the first try though.  Anyway, the above link is a start and there are many, many more sites out there. 

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 3:52:21 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Have you tried focusing not on your partner and his feelings but focusing wholly on your own body and its reactions and pleasure.  Shut out anything else that's going on and focus on those sensations which feel pleasurable, whatever they are.  Imagine yourself having an orgasm.  It is possible to "think" yourself there.  If you're normally quiet, let loose with some noise!  Pant, move your hips.  It'll ... er ... come to you.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 3:58:49 PM   
Perplex


Posts: 110
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		for the dream control of the users post here are the first steps I was taught and now teach students..

1. keep a dream journal, when you know a dream ended (and this is a matter of forcing yourself awake as you rise and fall through the sleep cycle (in the very beginning several glasses of water will help this as you will awake up to pee at the same point in the sleep cycle as I'm suggesting you force yourself awake) write it down as much as you can without forcing yourself more awake than you have to... you may end up doing this 2 or three times a night...

2. all through the process cut yourself a break every few nights if you are normally the 8hour sleep straight type of person, forget the journal and just sleep.  nothign is worth the health (mental and otherwise) concerns with breaking up your normal sleep pattrerns over the long haul.

when you have gotten used to the dream journal/breaking up the sleep cycle in response to your dreams, it will be easier for your wakign mind to help guide your sleeping mind. 

as you fall asleep plant the seeds of what you are hoping to dream about (or the response you want to have like during a nightmare if you have reocurring nightmares*) by focusing your mind on the imagry you want in your dream... now with your wakign mind more used to knowing when you are dreaming with time you will start taking those images (from when you go to sleep) and putting them into your dream.  now what your unconscience/subconsciene will do with them can be anybody's guess, but most times over a period of time it works

like all things, give yourself time, this is not something you are going to do in two or three nights, there are people who do this for years and still cannot  master their dreams, each person is different and you have to respect yourself enough to know your body (and mind) will do what is best for you, despite what your waking minds wants you to do. 

with the orgasm thing...have you tried a little wine or liquor before sex? not drunk just loose.  most times orgasm is a relaxation issue (unless there are deeper reasons) it is not a reflecton on you or your dom, it just is.  To borrow an old hackney, orgrasm is like a whole body sneeze..and sometimes when we really need to sneeze we just can't...we will feel it like a tickle but it just won't come (pardon the pun) then you turn your focus onto something else and Achoo, you are getting the tissues. 

*controlling nightmares is a little easier than the whole process above.  as you fall asleep visualize the response you want to have to the nightmare, so eventually (and ussually pretty shorts amount of time) your sleeping mind takes the solution you are visualizing and uses it to counter the nightmare.  A friend had terrible shark-attack nightmares, he started using a school of dolphins swimming around him as he fell asleep and when the shark nightmare would begin the dolphins were there to protect him. It worked for him

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 4:04:16 PM   
charlotte12


Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		I used to have trouble  cumming. The only thing i find that helps is to stop thinking about it. If i'm "trying to cum" then i never will.

In terms of the dreams i used to have a book on lucid dreaming. I believe it is very possible but from what i remember takes times and practice to get to the point where you can control your dreams without waking up. I think there were little excersizes and practices you could do to work on it. I don't remember them though so i suppose i'm no help. But you should be able to find plenty of info on lucid dreaming. Good luck and don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll figure something out.


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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 4:10:50 PM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		Yep I too learned to lucid dream when a child.  Afraid of dreams too.  My Mom worked at a well known medical university and when they were seeking families to use for family counseling subjects she volunteered us since I apparently was a total pain in the ass at bed time.  The pros came in and decided that if I were to learn to lucid dream that I would not be afraid to go to bed and thus stop disrupting bed time for the family.  It worked.  And I can still do some 38 years later. Cool huh?

The way it works for me though is that if I am wondering into a dream that is distressing or scary I will sort of step out of it and recognize that it is a dream and then reorient or rewrite the dream.  I do find that lucid dreaming does help one become much more aware of your dreams - remember them better than most people.  Dreams are one of the ways that I process what is happening in my day to day life.  If I have some issue that is troubling me or dominating my energies it will come up in my dreams in one form or another.  If I can't handle it I will rewrite it, but I find it better to let it ride and then when I am awake, explore what I was feeling in response to specific pieces of the dream in order to get to the crux of an issue.  That alone will often give me a clear course of action in my awake life that is extremely helpful.  I have never aimed to have a pre-scripted outcome though....I just redirect.  So I am not sure if you can make yourself have "wet dreams", something about that sounds disney-like and naive to me....like the tape player with a prerecorded message while you sleep.  I also know that it is not an easy thing to learn as an adult.  I understand that there are some exercises and aids...Good Luck.

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Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 4:17:14 PM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		Oh yeah, do you have trouble cumming when masturbating?  For women it does seem that the more you cum the easier it is to cum (kind of the opposite of men).  It is like a muscle that needs toning ya know.  The sex docs say that the average woman needs about 20 minutes of stimulation before she can cum....and that is not factoring in foreplay, mood, skill.  Another thing - invest in silicant based lube.  Even if you seem to be wet enough - this is still helpful. eros pure or wet platinum premium bodyglide are 2 brands I know of.  It is expensive but worth every penny and a little goes a long way.  At first though don't be stingy with it...it really helps.  The other thing that is helpful is to go ahead and wiggle your hips, arch your back and flex your toes there is a bit of muscle memory to these actions that helps.  So basically if you hae to focus a whole lot in order to cum when you are masturbating then you may need to practice solo and teach yourself to let go or find your o a bit easier and more readily by yourself.

< Message edited by ocilla -- 9/2/2007 4:19:57 PM >

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Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 4:20:43 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

Thanx, TemptingNviceSub, I have looked up dream control but don't feel comfy posting to the boards, what with the subject matter beingnwhat it is.

As for my orgasm problem, I would love to just let it go, but he won't. After our last session, he was really down and it opened up a talk about how difficult it is for me to cum. I told him that I love the journey and am not concerned with the end. He understands and will lay off the pressure, but still very badly wants me to meet with the big one. So even if he does lay off, I'll still [mentally] know that's what he wants and will still feel pressure. *sigh* Why must some men be on such an ego trip about these things?


dark waters ye be traveling becareful for there are things that ye may discover that are not for the normal mind  beware and are cursed are those that travel in forbiden lands of the mind

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 4:25:14 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Owned spoke well enough on the dreams part of things.  I'll speak on the orgasms- is this a unique situation or have you always had difficulty orgasming?  If there has always been difficulty I will say that the thing MOST likely to make you LEAST likely to orgasm will be his continuing to make it an issue and make you feel like you're not doing "enough" when you don't orgasm.

Not that you should stop trying and exploring- but that it should be a fun, no fault, enjoyable exploration.  As soon as frustration enters into it, no one's having fun and no orgasm is going to happen.

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 6:13:06 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream

Lucid dreaming is a technique of applying conscious thought to dream sequences.  How well it addresses issues such as capacity to orgasm.....is indeterminate at best.


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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 10:54:16 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		Follow the offered links and references to lucid or directed dreaming.

Psychologist Harrison Madden did directed dream studies in the 80s, in which I participated.  There is a process that can lead a naturally receptive person to this state.  It will unlock all sorts of mental power in you.

One key element is full REM sleep, with no narcotic overlays. 

*edited to correct a spelling error.

< Message edited by OedipusRexIt -- 9/2/2007 10:55:17 PM >

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/2/2007 11:25:28 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		the old remey sleep yep the place where. if you say candy man three times  you will see him during the day and in the corner of your eye always waiting..

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/3/2007 12:26:09 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		The quickest way to get me NOT to cum is to constantly demand i cum....LOL It just puts so much stress on me, it almost instantly kills the mood.

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/3/2007 12:49:16 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDsbabygirl

Please forgive me if I'm posting at the wrong board but nowhere else (like "Off-Topic") seemed quite right, either...

Has anyone here accomplished dream control to the point where you can usually control them? If so, did you find that you were able to solve a real-life problem with its usage?

See, here's the thing (and this is where the subject matter gets maaaybe relevant) -- I am having trouble orgasming with my Dom. We've tried all kinds of stuff and it's only rare that I cum with him, and frankly, we're both to the point of sheer frustration. Sooo, I figured that if I could learn to control my dreams to the point that I'm having wet dreams involving him 2/x a nite for a couple of weeks, my mind and body will be used to it and I'll come with him. Isn't this like 'conditioning', the idea upon which orgasm control is built?

If anyone here has experience with dream control, I'd love your thoughts on this. Thank you.


I rather like the randomness of my current dreams. Makes it more interesting.

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/3/2007 4:47:13 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		There are a couple of books on lucid dreaming, both come in paperback.  I don't know if it's going to help tho.  I haven't read the entire thread but thought I'd let you know about the books.

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RE: A Rather Radical Idea - 9/3/2007 6:26:01 AM   
fungasm


Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline 		You say you have tried "all kinds of stuff" but I have three questions:

a.  Can you come on your own?  If not- talk to a sex therapist.
b.  Does he know where your clitoris is?  No really. 
c.   Have you tried a Hitachi Magic Wand, the Eroscillator, The Sybian, or the Cone?  (http://www.madame-s.com/cat/1031:1154/vibrators_bullets_more_standard_vibes.html)

Alison

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