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ChainedExistence -> RE: Pain Thresholds (9/4/2007 9:10:51 PM)
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I find that I differ in my views on pain thresholds from many. It's not so much that I believe you build up a tolerance for pain and need increasingly higher levels to achieve the same results. Instead, I believe you might be learning more effective ways of managing the pain. To illustrate- The first few times I ever played, I would tense up and react wildly to every little thing. (yes, I am a high strung and emotional girl). Contrast that to the present time,- I've learned the value of slow breathing and focusing on letting my mind and body ride on the waves of the pain instead of fighting against it. I've learned to link patterned sound to various kinds of calming imagery. I've observed that a little body contact with my Dom , (like leaning my head against his thigh when he's caning me), helps to steady me when the pain is pushing me into near panic. Plus, I'd have to say, he's learned things about me , too...when to push harder, when to push less and yet still keep me on an edge, or how to let me drift off to space. Am I doing more than I used to? Yes, but not because I don't feel things at a lower level, I still do, but I am better able to process it.
As for progressing to the point where I would get truly hurt...I don't worry about that. One, I trust my Master's own internal limits of knowing when it's time to stop. Two, there are just activities that Master and I aren't willing to engage in- using meat hooks through my back to suspend me from a helicopter, for example. Yes, I know some people do that...but it's not on our "need to do one day" list, Finally, I trust myself enough to know that even if I am drifting off to la la land, I still would be able to communicate my problem in a way my Dom can recognize.
There are surely going to be things Master suggests that I think MIGHT be too much for me, but I am willing to push those things a little to see if it's really just irrational fear/disgust/social taboos/etc that are preventing me from doing them, or if they really have to be off the table. So far, I can't say that he's ever suggested anything that we needed to outright ban from our play. ( Some things I might PREFER to do less, though I don't get to make that call! ).
My final point- there are literally limitless lateral moves one can make without upping the ante, so to speak...different types of pain, different locations on the body, different sensations. Just hitting someone harder doesn't have to be the only way to show growth. I'd liken that to a carpenter learning to drive nails into a piece of lumber. At some point, he is going to hit hard enough to put the nail in the board in an efficient, accurate way nearly every time. So, is swinging the hammer harder each time a goal worth pursuing? I'd think he'd find it more interesting to see if he can hammer over his head, cut a board straight, or or use a nail gun. Likewise, a Dom can do many things that aren't simply about "more pain" and keep the dynamic right on track.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting to move toward taking more pain, but it's not the be all, end all.
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