Times have changed

Times have changed (Full Version)

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Severin4slave -> Times have changed (9/3/2007 9:12:29 PM)
I've been a Mistress for many years. In the past finding a submissive or slave was very easy. These days it seeks so very hard. I have been to parties, munches, Balls, clubs yet finding a sincere compatible slave is like finding a needle in the hay stack. Either I find married men,collage boys (whom can't or wont commit or relocate), or subs that have so much fear they never show up. Any ideas on what I should do to attract and keep a slave? Any idea is better than no idea. Severin4slave

akisha -> RE: Times have changed (9/3/2007 9:22:52 PM)
Keep looking, as the lifestyle becomes more open to the public eye there are going to be alot more people coming in to either experiement, or even just look. Ergo it's harder to find the ones that do want a full time life time commitment. Everything worth having takes time and effort. Sometimes more then we'd like to put out but that's life. Sorry, no quick fix ideas for you. [:-]

sub4hire -> RE: Times have changed (9/4/2007 10:59:11 AM)
This advertisement should help. Talk here, if I were looking I'd watch the way a person handled themselves in a public forum. Especially when talking about the lifestyle I live. See if we had anything in common..etc. As well as your own integrity I'd be watching.

chathamvahere -> RE: Times have changed (9/4/2007 11:13:43 AM)
We tend to agree it is getting very difficult to find a quality person who wants this lifestyle, we have been looking for quite a while for our pet. We just recently found CM as a source, but other then the forums (quite enjoyable) we have not found anyone who seems to want to at least meet for coffeeJ Mistress

toservez -> RE: Times have changed (9/4/2007 11:29:15 AM)
As a submissive female I cannot totally understand your situation but I have talked to many submissive males on the other side and between them and my experience with online and local communities I feel the particular Femdom relationship has suffered the most since the Internet happen. Many submissive men I have corresponded to are too afraid to become active in their local community and use the Internet as their only way of an outlet and search. The problem then gets compounded as I think the most distorted view of this life comes from many female dominants on the personal sites are not looking for or portraying a sincere/realistic view of D/s and then these insincere/unrealistic females for whatever reason distort the view of a male submissive and a natural and healthy development of expectations and understanding of the life.

Celeste43 -> RE: Times have changed (9/4/2007 11:55:14 AM)
Is it that much harder or are you simply much more picky nowadays? Personally I think being picky is a good thing. You know what traits you want and don't want in a partner, you know what personality types you are and aren't compatible with. The more selective you are, the longer it will take to find someone however the payoff is that the likelihood is that this will be Mr Right, and not Mr Right Now.

MHOO314 -> RE: Times have changed (9/4/2007 3:20:39 PM)
*Well your requirements are pretty narrow and specific---so I'd say take a dose of patience and keep looking.*

SlaveSubtoserve -> RE: Times have changed (9/21/2007 9:52:04 AM)
...it could be also that the reality of genuine male slavedom has dawned on a lot of the male bottoms, subs, etc. that it is not primarily or all play and fun times fantasy-- the all encompassing , demands, and serious requirments of the life might have sunk in with many after years of internet-ing around.

Severin4slave -> RE: Times have changed (10/24/2007 10:18:57 PM)
I change my profile regularly. I try to be flexible with what I'm looking for. I try and keep open minded without turning off my kinks, pleasures, honesty and needs. Sometimes I will be narrow and specific. Other times more general. I try not to short change myself or give useless hope to those I know I can't enjoy in the long run. I try to court my perspective sub, slave, pet, but most don't want to meet unless we "get to it". Others beg to meet me. Once we meet their fantasy didn't meet reality. "toservez" and "Celeste43" your reply hit me the hardest (not to say others didn't give light) I deeply understand what you had to say. I actually copied it to keep. Thanks to everyone though my reply was late. I'm not seeking a quick fix; just sound advice, ideas, thoughts, experiences and the like.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Times have changed (10/24/2007 10:53:21 PM)
aloha severin, i think that our thoughts create our reality, and your thoughts are saying finding a slave is HARD...i spent 3 years saying , there is no DS in this tiny island....but then i started saying the opposit, and that same day i things changed radically.

Dilseachd -> RE: Times have changed (10/25/2007 8:22:34 AM)
I saw a similar discussion on a yahoo group a couple of years ago. I recall there being an agreement in the local community I was in at the time that indeed there did seem to be a reduction in male submissives at local events anymore. I think if you look at the majority of online Domme adverts these days you will see why so many sub males who "get it" dont bother to put themselves up on a board like this, and sadly the novices become intimidated by that so wont go out as often. I see what the internet did for this lifestyle in many ways both good and bad. If it wasnt for online discussion groups and resources when I first started looking fifteen years ago I never would have found anything, but I think there is a backlash to it as well. Look at the general way single male submissives are refered to in a chat room, forum, online erotica, or in so many of my previously mentioned Domme adverts. Who wants to be lumped into some nasty stereotype of what a single male submissive is? So many of the more genuine guys quit going out for the fear both genuine and imagined that if they go out to a club they are going to be practically invisible due to current attitudes. Yes in some ways this is an over simplification of what is going on, but there was a concensus on that discussion board that this was not far from the truth. Compare it to how many of the Old Guarde you see out in public anymore. With all due respect to Dennis Miller...but thats just my opinion...I might be wrong. Regards to all, Dils

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Times have changed (10/25/2007 6:40:11 PM)
Just keep looking and be patient. Not everyone comes in 1-2 days. Just keep your head up and don't get discouraged

RRafe -> RE: Times have changed (10/25/2007 6:43:12 PM)
I think male subs are treated horribly. I can respect any decent human being-no matter what thier kinks are-stereotypes suck-and should be destroyed.

msindigomontoya -> RE: Times have changed (10/25/2007 8:47:59 PM)
Just keep hanging in there. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right person. Don't give up hope, keep going to events, and munches and so on.

cuteguy40 -> RE: Times have changed (10/27/2007 3:56:42 PM)
i agree took me 3 years to meet someoone good the adult date sites 'have so many fake ads nowa days in some states online lists. i like collar.its been rough though

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