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RE: Adding to your family - 9/5/2007 4:14:20 AM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I have had of yet to see anyone handle one person well let alone a herd.

Lmao.....my Master who is in the wind once had seven of us in the house, though normally it was the same 2 to 4 plus of course me (it was my house).

Never did he have any difficulty managing it. I think mainly because if somebody did not fit, they did not last very long.

Also because we all cared for and played with one another.

After a full day of his attentions(i really did love him so do not take this wrong) each of us was glad to pass him to the next so we could get rest and other things done.

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/5/2007 4:15:51 AM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

I haven't had complaints from any of the aforementioned re: feeling left out or not having enough personal time with me. So I make changes and allowances where necessary to ensure the human, loving aspect of my life and those around me is fulfilled.

Then you must be doing it right, thank you as well.

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/5/2007 4:33:18 AM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

. Too often, we unfortunately find the new girl feels she is under my shadow, and feels she can't "measure up" to an established slave of his of three years.

Good morning OG, i think it is probably common for anyone entering into a relationship with an established couple to be nervous about measuring up.

I think the one advantage i had there was that Jewel is a dominant not a subbie.

And my kudos to you for working on your poly issues, that is a hard thing to do, good for you!

Side note here; I will get around to everybody's replies, but i have to go bake Scooter a birthday cake, he is 52 years young today!

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/6/2007 3:43:04 AM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kshearsecouple

We have always had *girls around* but to us they were toys.

What ever girl we deside to take on there will be caring and a diffrent kind of love Our girl won't be *everything to us* we have that already with in each other.

We look for friends to fit in our lifestyle as well as the other. I don't think we have to set aside time for anyone...We are who we are.

Did you find it difficult to find girls who were content to be just a toy? Not there is anything wrong with being a toy if that is what you all enjoy.

Hopefully whomever you find to keep will become some new type of everything to you, not the same, but as important in their own way. That you will grow together as a three couple instead of a two couple.

But i would like to ask, once you find a new girl, don't you think it will still be important to you to spend time alone as a couple?

Don't you think who ever you find will want/need some one on one time with each of you as individuals?

Do you think each of you will be able to or want to provide that?

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/6/2007 7:40:15 AM

Evanesce

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Within relationships, I find that expectations are virtually impossible to live up to, so I try to avoid "expecting" anything from another person, other than the big three - honesty, integrity and trust. Everything else changes constantly.

The Kaptin and I have been seeking a house slave for some time and, because we are a straight couple, have had considerable difficulty in finding that slave. Sometimes I think it's because people can get an unrealistic idea of what being a slave in our household means *to us.* First and foremost, the individual must want to serve both of us. All too often, we find someone who says they want to serve both, but really they're looking for a one-on-one relationship with one or the other of us. That's not going to work for us. We see our house slave as someone who, while knowing their place within the heirarchy of the household, will also be a member of the family. One-on-one time with each of us would definitely take place (mostly with me, because the Kaptin is gone most of the time), but families do things together, and we'd be no exception. We see all of us vacationing, attending festivals, going to ren faires and amusement parks all together. The only thing we don't see the three of us doing on a regular basis is sleeping in the same bed. The house slave would, most nights, sleep in a separate room adjacent to ours. We realize this could raise jealousy issues, but the person who joins our household must understand and accept that, even though we do view them as family, the relationship between the Kaptin and myself is primary.

I'm thinking our ideal third would be a bottom-leaning switch, because I've got just so many interesting dungeon ideas for the three of us.

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/6/2007 8:33:15 AM

LATEXBABY64

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i have to say this but days of the communes and flower power died lol the days of the 60s are long gone. that mentality that more is better is very flawed in dealing with the human mental condition. live and learn or for some live and burn

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/6/2007 8:42:29 AM

kshearsecouple

Posts: 171
Joined: 3/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

quote:

ORIGINAL: kshearsecouple

We have always had *girls around* but to us they were toys.

What ever girl we deside to take on there will be caring and a diffrent kind of love Our girl won't be *everything to us* we have that already with in each other.

We look for friends to fit in our lifestyle as well as the other. I don't think we have to set aside time for anyone...We are who we are.

Did you find it difficult to find girls who were content to be just a toy? Not there is anything wrong with being a toy if that is what you all enjoy.

Hopefully whomever you find to keep will become some new type of everything to you, not the same, but as important in their own way. That you will grow together as a three couple instead of a two couple.

But i would like to ask, once you find a new girl, don't you think it will still be important to you to spend time alone as a couple?

Don't you think who ever you find will want/need some one on one time with each of you as individuals?

Do you think each of you will be able to or want to provide that?

We actually found it quite easy to find girls that were just toys for us...and they were ok with that we had to make that known up front and to be honest about it. Never have we gone into a relationship with another girl when that wasn't made clear. I understand it probably makes us look like big users but everyone had a say in things. If they got tired of it they went to pursue other avenues.

Now I suppose we do want something other than a toy now that is why we are so picky with whom we want. We have to be extra careful on who we choose beacuse it envloves all the family not just My husband and I.

I do think it is very improtant for my husband and I to spend time as a couple. That has always been the constant in our lives. And it does rasie valid points on this issue if all are in one house how does one get x amount of time with each other....But I don't view that as an issue really......My husband is my husband we got married and grew to what we are today and I hope we will continue to grow not only as a couple but as partners as well. As far as the girl we seek I hope she will be able to accept the fact that We come first. I hope that doesn't seem rude, but if the girl knows that I hope she would accept it.

As a couple we are going to spend the majority of the time together. Now this is going to seem crass but when it comes to the one we choose I don't feel I have to designate time to be alone with her. I don't feel that is how our relationship will work. I can't predict the future and for all I know It won't happen like that. There are going to be times we are alone together....like after work.....or when my husband has car shows to go to just little things like that I just personally can't see myself sceduling time to be with someone.

And I would like to add *so I don't seem like a heartless bitch lol* The one we do find will be apart of our family....I want her to grow with us as well and want to be a part of the family

<please forgive the spelling and sentencing

< Message edited by kshearsecouple -- 9/6/2007 8:49:01 AM >

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/6/2007 9:00:30 AM

Twicehappy2x

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kshearsecouple

Never have we gone into a relationship with another girl when that wasn't made clear. I understand it probably makes us look like big users but everyone had a say in things.

No, that does not make you seem like users, if they went into it knowing that a toy is what they would be that is fine. Everybody wins then.

quote:

My husband is my husband we got married and grew to what we are today and I hope we will continue to grow not only as a couple but as partners as well. As far as the girl we seek I hope she will be able to accept the fact that We come first.

I really see no issue with the pair of you coming first as a couple. But i do see (or at least i would have issues with) an issue with the new person always being second. I would think it would make them wonder just how important they are as a part of the family. Most are going to want time when they feel equally important.

quote:

As a couple we are going to spend the majority of the time together. Now this is going to seem crass but when it comes to the one we choose I don't feel I have to designate time to be alone with her.

I just personally can't see myself scheduling time to be with someone.

Don't you think this new person is going to want one on one time with each of you? Special not simply incidental time? After all the original pair of you will have one on one time with each other.

quote:

And I would like to add *so I don't seem like a heartless bitch lol* The one we do find will be apart of our family....I want her to grow with us as well and want to be with us as a couple.

Not saying you are being heartless but it sounds as if you want some one who is willing to wait and be available when you have time for them. I would think such a person would have or develop very low self esteem or feel like a dog waiting for crumbs to fall off the table, knowing that a real meal will never be for them.

You may find some one who fits that bill perfectly but i could not do it, not for for ever at any rate. Not that there is anything wrong with your desire for this, only saying i think it would be a bitter pill for many.

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RE: Adding to your family - 9/6/2007 11:15:13 AM

kshearsecouple

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quote:

I really see no issue with the pair of you coming first as a couple. But i do see (or at least i would have issues with) an issue with the new person always being second. I would think it would make them wonder just how important they are as a part of the family. Most are going to want time when they feel equally important.

I can understand where that might be an issue for some. I guess the point I'm trying to get across in that with a family.... husband, wife, and 3 children, I realistically cannot designate a certain time for one on one. My husband and I get our*togetherness* after the day is through, and she will be a part of that time as well.

quote:

Don't you think this new person is going to want one on one time with each of you? Special not simply incidental time? After all the original pair of you will have one on one time with each other.

There will be one on one time......I'm just saying that it's not going to be scheduled. On weekends when we are alone *no kids* then there will be plenty of one on one and alone time, but we do have a household to maintain first.

quote:

Not saying you are being heartless but it sounds as if you want some one who is willing to wait and be available when you have time for them. I would think such a person would have or develop very low self esteem or feel like a dog waiting for crumbs to fall off the table, knowing that a real meal will never be for them.

I would hope that the girl coming into our relationship knows that we come first but also knowing they will be a big part of our lives.

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Post #: 29