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A warped mans view - 9/4/2007 8:18:53 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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Here it is! Men's answer to Maxine.
              MAX


Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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< /I>
Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up lo ng enough to
Build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door , who do you let in first?

The dog , of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.
----------------------------------------- --------------------------

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
----------------- --------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut , and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning , God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then , neither God nor Man has rested.

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< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 9/4/2007 8:19:40 AM >


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RE: A warped mans view - 9/5/2007 4:14:43 PM   
InkedMaster


Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
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Now I don't care who you are, THAT'S FUNNY!

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TOURETTE SYNDROME: It's no mother f*cking joke, you God d*mn c*ck sucking f*ck!

"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy

-Owner of eyesopened- and damn PROUD of her!


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RE: A warped mans view - 9/5/2007 4:27:49 PM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Master , is that You?

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RE: A warped mans view - 9/5/2007 4:29:49 PM   
nmjardine


Posts: 116
Joined: 7/31/2005
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Ok, a coupla those made me laugh. Now I"m going to hell.

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RE: A warped mans view - 9/7/2007 1:52:35 AM   
Redoubt


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
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Those were great, the other one I remember is:

Q: If your woman is constantly coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what is the most likely thing you've done wrong?

A: Made the bitch's chain too long.

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RE: A warped mans view - 9/7/2007 2:00:23 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
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ROFLMAO, love it. Thank you sweetnurse!!

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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RE: A warped mans view - 9/7/2007 3:46:05 PM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline
Why did the woman cross the street?

Wait - what's she doing out of the kitchen? :P

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