MrRodgers
Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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Did you all see this ? To be correct...this is not mine but an adaptation...with my editing.
It still needed to bring this here...and it is funny.
Back from vacation and catching up on the latest and most important of our current events.
So the President has now declared the Iraqi war (the war that was over years ago...we are now trying not to lose the peace) is the same as WWII, Korea and Viet Nam with the only possible exception being the War of Jenkins Ear (1739-1741) which was an odd conflict but with noticably no momumentally dumb statements from Donald Rumsfeld.
Fred Thompson lost his fourth key campaign aide even before having an official campaign. He did however promise stability in the White House.
John Edwards vowed he would sell his mansion in N. Carolina and all of his financial investments in child-labor funds and would live forevermore in a hovel. (Editorial note: I offered him space in my cave but he was concerned that our roof..er mountain might cave in...told him I worry everyday) In a generous gester said he would donate his comb to the Smithsonian. It will be hanging poignantly below a pic of his discount barber.
Mitt Romney who now says that about halfway through his term as governor of Mass. that he really was against abortion, gun control and gay marriage and that he had been getting things backwards most of his natural life. He promptly 'changed' his name to Timm Romney and insisted that was his name all along.
Bill Richardson revised his statement about how jet lag had lead him to misstate his position on whether people are born gay or choose to be gay. Said he heard the word choice and being a democrat thought "Aha." He said he favored a man's right to choose.
On voice vote, the Congressional Republicans voted to limit themselves to one sex crime per session.
Leona Hemsley died and left $12 million to her dog. The pooch immediately got an interview on 'Today' with Ann Curry and Matt Lauer.
Bill Richardson changed his position again saying he wasn't jet-lagged but that he was carsick.
Michael Vick admitted to killing 'approximately six to eight dogs' but said he didn't bet on the dogs fights for that would have violiated the NFL personal conduct policy.
Hillary Clinton called on Iraqi president Nour al-Maliki to resign and be replaced with Judith Giuliani.
Rudy Giuliani retracted his statement that he had spent as much time at Ground Zero as the first responders but did say that some of time he did spend near there was trying to pry this giant ape off the Empire State building.
Alberto Gonzales denied he was a liar and denied he was quitting and then quit. We await the other shoe.
Barry Bonds tripped and shattered into 23 pieces.
William Kristol called for an invasion of Venezuela and East Hampton. Instantly this proposal was debated over the entire weekend on TV talk shows.
Rep. Tom Tancredo blamed the Minneapolis bridge collapse on 'fat illegal aliens.' That too was widely discussed.
Fred Thompson admitted he once lobbied on behalf of pro-abortion groups. He said too that he had been jet-lagged at the time. (The whole time ?)
Karl Rove quit the White House and, in a series of interviews, cited his success in Afganistan, Iraq, the president's approval rating and control of congress. His family has considered institutionalizing him.
A survey of political bloggers (and politicos in Iraq) found that 94% of them had never been out of the country or read anything other than a Harry Potter book.
People magazine admitted there really is no such person as Linsay Lohen.
Rupert Murdock bought the Wall Street Journal after vowing to no longer be Rupert Murdock. Timm Romney said he understood.
There was a leak of plans to keep American troops in Iraq forever, or for only 30 years or for only two more years or none of the above. This is because the surge is successful, failing, succeeding here but failing there or totally beside the point because the country will still fall apart.
Subprime lending has led to market volatility and caused the Fed to open its little-used discount window (but not on a Sunday) which of course has an impact in later years. (when do I get my discount window ?). While conservatives (ne: republicans) all insisted that capital gainers and carried interest holders be taxed less then their maids was because God had intented it that way. Conservatives (republicans) also pointed out that the subprime borrowers had lost their homes because they were greedy and believed__how dare they ?__that they could own homes.
Barack Obama said no one should be called subprime. All the democrats held hands, agreed and signed a petition by the Subprime Caucus to treat foreclosures as a hate crime.
G. W. is still president. Really.
This just in: Presidential press secretary Tony Snow at $168,000/yr ($3,230 PER WEEK) PLUS every additional medical and familial and other employment benefits equal to the best in all of western civilization...couldn't make it financially.
Oh...but the 270 million people and their families of the great unwashed out here...without all that money and benefits and who've just seen 2 million more if their children lose medical insurance, in just this past year...are doing just fine.
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