CBT question

CBT question (Full Version)

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MistressDarkling -> CBT question (9/5/2007 4:54:27 AM)
First off Greetings E/everyone. I have a rt male sub who is somewhat new to the lifestyle. He is wanting to progress to harder CBT (sounds, humbler, whips, etc) and I hesitate. Not because of my lack of experence in this area but because he was serverely sexually abused as a child, which caused lifelong damage to both his urerthia and ruptured the tubes in his testies. I have special feelings for this eager sub and I want to give him what he wants/needs, but I find myself not able to overcome the hesitation as I do not want to cause more damage. Any advice would be more than welcome.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: CBT question (9/5/2007 5:39:37 AM)
Honestly, given his medical history, I would consult a kink aware urologist (perhaps also a proctologist?). Someone around here is bound to have links to a list of kink aware professionals, I'm sure they'd be glad to help you out. I've no idea if you can do harm or not, and it seems neither do you. Ignorance and best intentions are no real comfort when such result in a painful surgery and/or recuperation time. Assuming what is accidentally broken can be fixed!

canupleaseme -> RE: CBT question (9/5/2007 5:43:06 AM)
I really dont know much about sounds but if he has damage in his urethra I would steer clear of poking things down there untill you have sought medical advice 1st. Im sure whips and a humbler wouldnt cause damage to them as long as your keeping an eye on things and not going to extremes with twisting etc. Im realyy no expert when it comes to stuff like that but if it was me and my boy and he really wanted it I would check out 1st properly with a medical person before I started doing anything to him and if he really wants it he will understand you need to cover all bases 1st. I hope you get sorted out. We are looking at getting a humbler next im very excited.[:)]

MistressDarkling -> RE: CBT question (9/5/2007 8:22:35 AM)
Thank you, I might seek professional medical advice. This man amases me, to of been all he has been through and to of only developed a few fetishes. So proud of being able to call him mine

cbtok -> RE: CBT question (9/5/2007 10:06:12 AM)
I think your best advice is to be in touch with an Urologist. But you're also probably operating out of a mind set that the male genitalia are particularly fragile and don't heal easily, which is a mind set that is not correct. Assuming no damage, a humbler will cause pain (after all, that is the design) but no injury that lasts beyond a few minutes. Sounds can stretch the urethra but they do not cause harm unless they are introducing harmful bacteria or infectious substances into a nominally sterile area. I recommend and I think most risk-aware practitioners recommend that one autoclave any instrument that is designed for penetration. Sounds should be used with the same care that you use with any device that is designed to both penetrate and stretch. Allow your bottom to guide you and use a slowword and safeword for any new territory you venture into. After s short time, you ought to be able to appropriately gauge where he is at and how much (more) he is able to take. I know of no names of Urology specialists who are kink-aware and I don't live in Indiana but some discreet inquiries in your local community may be in order. Also, if you run into a kinky doctor of internal medicine (regular M.D.) they can be of incredible help. I'm aware the gay medical practitioners tend to be among the least squeamish when it comes to kink.

MistressRouge -> RE: CBT question (9/8/2007 8:51:55 AM)
Well nothing inserted into his urethra, but hot wax, stinging nettles, slapping, cropping, whips, cock flogger, cock bondage/ball binding. A humbler would be fine, for it is the testicles that are clamped into it.

MistressMercia -> RE: CBT question (9/12/2007 6:15:26 AM)
Greetings Mistress Darkling , hopefully this advice may give you some help. Myself being a grade six dementia nurse i would pursue a medical examination of the urthera and scrotum , to see excatly what damage was done and if the play will create further damage both physically or mentally to your sub in question. If play was to be used with creams ie deep heat for heat play i would ask the doctor of any effects both mild and serious further damage to this region, with any play that is in mind . Mentally , being his Dom i am sure you have already in play and in place your's and his " safety net " ( A Mental intervention if he triggers back to his past) this is to deal with and if any emotional triggers are released throughout this play. I personally would seek out methods of counciling interventions to help deal with any issues that can be incorporated in alongside your dominance for his benefit in play... regards Mistress Mercia

LadyClaudiaVan -> RE: CBT question (9/12/2007 7:37:53 AM)
Well, I don't know about this. I would have to say that you should stay away from things that could hurt him. You would'nt want to do that. I feel you should be responsible and talk to a doctor before playing with fire.

BeachMystress -> RE: CBT question (9/12/2007 6:33:31 PM)
It sounds to me that his desires for more punishment to his cock and balls could be rooted in the abuses he suffered. I would send him to a KAP therapist as well as the urologist. You're going to have to be very careful with CBT since he has damage to the interior structures. It would be best if you went to the Dr with him and found out exactly what is and isn't safe. I will tell you that I am an expert in CBT and would not touch anything other than surface play until talking with his Dr myself. I would NOT use a humbler on him since it does pull on the testicles and you do not know how the scar tissue will react. Ideas for more intense surface play.. snap the head and shaft of the cock (avoiding the urethral opening) with small rubberbands. Something about the size of a brace rubber band is the largest you'll want to use. Larger rubber bands will strike with more force when released and you run the risk of involving deeper structures. Do not do this on the testicles. hot waxing to remove hair.. You're not looking to have the heat from the wax be part of the play. This is about the pain of pulling hairs out of tender flesh by the roots. multiple zippers at once. Put four to six zippers up the length of his cock and remove them all at once. Slow removal can be more torture for the guy than fast, so experiment with removal speeds. deep heat rub/pepermint oil/tabasco There is another thread talking about the use of these things in CBT and it would be a good way for you to up the pain quotient without getting into the area where damage might occur. Do NOT insert any of this stuff into his urethra and don't put enough on the head of his penis so that any drips down into the urethra. You can, however, put the pepermint oil on your fingertip and rub it all over the head of his cock. A minimal amount will get on the very sensitive urethral opening and hurt like the dickens. TENS unit or violet wand

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