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Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/5/2007 7:03:23 AM   
lyricaldreams


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/3/2005
Status: offline 		Would somebody explain to me what is meant by the term Mental Aspect of the lifestyle? i keep hearing that as something most enjoy, i just can't seem to get a handle on what it is exactly.
lyricaldreams
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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/5/2007 7:33:01 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		One example- instead of beating her on the ass, you psych her out by whispering to another dom in front of her.

Basically it's anything that you do to touch on their minds.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/5/2007 8:56:20 AM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		I've associated the mental aspects more with the D/s dymanics - having control, knowing that you control someone or are controlled by someone, etc.  Although there is nothing more mental than a good mind f*ck.  Basically, all the stuff that is going on in people's minds rather than what is physically happening to their bodies.

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/5/2007 9:01:41 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		For me, almost all of the lifestyle is mental.  It's something that takes place in the minds of (smart?) people who are consciously making their sexual lives (and sometimes, other aspects) more interesting. 

After all, if you spank but don't have the mindset, it's practically worthless. I don't think I'd enjoy the lifestyle without the mental aspect at all.  Perhaps that's just because I'm into D/s above all else, but I've heard similar things from sadomasochistic friends.


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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/5/2007 9:05:53 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Mental aspect in broad form is whatever people do and how it affects the brain.

More specific it depends on the type of relationship from casual play to 24/7 significant control.

Play can be enjoying seeing someone deal with things on a mental level or being put through it yourself. Not the physical sensations but the mental gyrations caused by the physical sensations or some sort of psychological/mental exercise.

In a more relationship type the mental aspect to me is how living that way affects your brain thoughts and feelings and often the kink things done are not just about the moment but how it impacts the relationship in its entirety.


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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/6/2007 3:40:34 PM   
sadisticmaster03


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/25/2006
Status: offline 		I felt like you about two years ago and thought physicial bondage was the only way to go.  Think of it as conditioning the mind and getting it ready for mind fucks ie the things she thinks about that have not actually happend, sort or priming the pump before the water arrives.  One example I use on  a submissive before I meet her  in person is at the end of the phone conversation  I have her repeat something ten times or twenty times as the last thing said on the phone.  i.e.  I love you Master Dave and my body is your to use as you please, one.  I love you Master Dave......... all the way to 20.  Sometime I say just keep saying it till I say stop.  This get the submissive ready mentally and said enough time over the course of a month you can see a big change in the sub attitude toward you.  I always say.  Say it like you mean it or you will have to start over. 

Hope that helps.

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/6/2007 3:47:08 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		It's just what it says....the thoughts, feelings, emotions that go into both play and 24/7 relationships.

This of it like this:  what gets you going more, being flogged or how being flogged makes you feel?



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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/6/2007 3:55:17 PM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline 		Most of D/s is psychological.  The power transfer happens because the D successfully puts the s into a state of mind that encourages and facilitates surrender.  The real bondage takes place in the mind before the chains go around the sub's body.

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/6/2007 3:55:30 PM   
azrailla


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		Hi:

My first realization of the total mental power of the relationship was the nite I left my Doms house and about 20 minutes into my drive home realized that he could have done ANYTHING to me in session and i would have been totally cool with it and happy. I freaked and snapped back. It happened naturally and subconsciously, I had zero awareness of my total mental surrender until much later, lol.

Everything he does is for mental conditioning, usually to get the emotional break, and the release is totally amazing. If you don't know....and emotional break is where something triggers a total meltdown, usually I feel it wash over me (almost orgasmic) and burst into a flood of tears that I didn't feel churn up, it's a total eruption that is not because I am in pain or hurt or sad, it just releases on it's own and totally out of my control (he controls the break) and, it's very beautiful. Afterward, i feel like purring.

az

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/6/2007 7:19:13 PM   
treadingwater


Posts: 11
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lyricaldreams

Would somebody explain to me what is meant by the term Mental Aspect of the lifestyle? i keep hearing that as something most enjoy, i just can't seem to get a handle on what it is exactly.
lyricaldreams

Mental...exactly what it implies. For myself, it simply means that I am always conscious of my position; 24/7/365.

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/6/2007 7:42:36 PM   
azrailla


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		[/quote]
Mental...exactly what it implies. For myself, it simply means that I am always conscious of my position; 24/7/365.
[/quote]

What I found was I was in my position and not having to think about it at all, it just is, complete and absolute, without and conscious effort on my part. Kind of a neat feeling that comes in phases. I am hopeful for the day it is so ingrained it just become part of me, like breathing.

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/6/2007 9:39:12 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Um, delusions and insanity?

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/7/2007 9:51:59 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		For me the mental aspects of D/s include when I find myself automatically wondering what the dom (when there has been one in my life) would want me to do before I accept invitations to see people, it would be the racing of my heart simply from sitting across the table from him in a restaurant and feeling his eyes on me, his submissive, it included the look he would give me when we were out in public or the touch of his hand on my back to remind me that I was his and that I was pleasing him in my attire and behaviour. One day again I would like to experience this....smiles.

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/9/2007 12:50:26 PM   
lyricaldreams


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/3/2005
Status: offline 		i guess some of the confusion comes into play when my temper snaps.  i truly feel that my submission is shaky because of this. He has said that i have an aggressive/Dominant streak in me, it mostly comes out whenever i am pissed off though. I just don't know ow to control it. i have better control of it now then i have ever had, but there is still a lot of work to be done. i don't get the mental thing most of the time. i know how i feel when W/we have scened( or played, depending on what term Y/you want to use), i know how i feel when i do daily things like cooking, cleaning the house, or getting His work clothes laid out. i just don't how to get past the reaction i sometimes have when He has told me to get somethng done and it just isn't possible to get it done when He wants it done. i am so afraid sometimes of disappointing HIm that i freeze and become incapable of making even the most menial decision. Maybe i have exchanged one extreme for another. i just don't know.

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RE: Mental aspects of lifestyle - 9/9/2007 1:06:41 PM   
SunnyTawse


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/17/2004
Status: offline 		I like your pic, TotalState. It illustrates your comment!

Sunny

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