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subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:22:35 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Do many of you enjoy a play partner atmosphere with a Dom, or is the search for a true master to collar you, your only reason to play or serve? If the search is for your true master, are you willing to play with/serve other Dominants, while waiting for your true master?
I ask this question because as I wait for a slave to genuinely call my own and collar, I find myself very bored and in need of a sub to play with, but even here, I find them hard to come into contact with.
I am very interested in how a submissive views this question.
Thanks


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:27:02 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think it can do nothing but good for a person to socialize, date, have fun and gain experience. Why stick to some rule that if you don't have "the one" then you have to stay at home alone? By going out and having fun, you just might have "the one"!

While the Owner and I do play with eachother, the relationship we have is not that of a play partner.

However, there's no reason you can't go out and have fun and play WHILE seriously being open to developing a relationship...and I don't see any reason why a person shouldn't.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:33:09 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		There are also many slaves who are Owned , have found their 'true' Master but still desire and are allowed to play with others.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:35:51 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
I have a Master and he holds my heart and life firmly in his beautiful hands. He and I both play with others. I have 4-5 Dom friends I play with in open play. He has 3 other subs he plays with and loads of others who want to play with him.
I love to have the different approaches presented to me and appreciate my Master allows me to have other friends. I'm even permitted to have full contact private friends if I so choose. I've seen a lot of couples who are not secure, confident, or open enough to have this work for them, but it works for My Master and I well. We both figure if you love something set it free, if it keeps comming back then it's truly yours and if it moves on it wasn't yours really to begin with.
Especially if you don't have a Master, I think to play with the people you'd consider potentially good friends would be way appropriate. How else are you going to know if you enjoy them enough in their approach to respect them enough to want to wear their collar one day?
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:36:29 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I tend to agree with you Emerald, but have had very mixed signals by suggesting to meet with certain submissives, so I've kinda backed off. I live in the D.C. area and the atmosphere here is very open, but my luck in meeting someone has been poor. I'm considering joining a group, but, like so many people who post here, I do like to keep my private life, just that.
Anyway, thanks for your input Emerald

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:41:50 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Kisshou and Suzanne
Thank you for your perspectives as well. I shall continue the search and know from your insights that I'm on the right track.
Suzanne, your relationship sounds ideal, but I could see how secure you would have to be in that relationship. Very cool though!

FL

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:44:31 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The DC scene is both large and small at the same time. Suzanne and I both frequent the Crucible, and she goes to the Black Rose meetings while I go to BESS (since I live closer to Baltimore).

So I think you've already gotten good advice from two people in your area, which is pretty good.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:50:35 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I had asked someone about going to the crucible once before, but was told I should take a partner, not look for one there...which again, has been the dilemna?
I've also contacted the BR about when and where they meet.
I guess I just have to jump in.
Again, thanks!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:57:08 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

I had asked someone about going to the crucible once before, but was told I should take a partner, not look for one there...which again, has been the dilemna?
I've also contacted the BR about when and where they meet.
I guess I just have to jump in.
Again, thanks!

Well the best way for any man to get into a local scene is on the arms of a pretty female.

Barring that, group of friends helps as well.

Crucible DOES have its regular "single guys hanging out" and they generally aren't playing or get into the mix. I'd suggest going to a BR meeting or two first, going to a munch or two. Are you closer to Baltimore or DC? BESS has a "newbies munch" before their parties so all the new people can at least get to know eachother and someone experienced in BESS.

Otherwise, be sociable and happy, even if you're a single guy, you can get a lot out of hanging around.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 12:13:06 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Do many of you enjoy a play partner atmosphere with a Dom, or is the search for a true master to collar you, your only reason to play or serve? If the search is for your true master, are you willing to play with/serve other Dominants, while waiting for your true master?
I ask this question because as I wait for a slave to genuinely call my own and collar, I find myself very bored and in need of a sub to play with, but even here, I find them hard to come into contact with.
I am very interested in how a submissive views this question.
Thanks


Q raising her hand to take that unpopular stance here. No offence Fastlane, but Play Partners for me just dont cut it. It's kind of like asking to be trained so I can please another, yea right.
Maybe it's because I like service, life provides me with many areas I can do for others that please them, and takes care of some peice of me that needs that. Yea I'll admit that at times the sex part needs fed too yet playing in that arena without the mental click that most play partners lack cheapens it too much for my enjoyment.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 12:47:55 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Quivver, well said and I do not disagree with you at all. I'm asking the question to understand the difference in views and I'm sure many agree with yours.
Emerald, I'm probably slightly closer to D.C., but if you could e mail me a link to BESS, I would appreciate it.


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 7:45:49 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		I apologize for this being off the topic but I would just like to say how impressed I am by your gracious manners. It is very refreshing to encounter. I only wish I could be more helpful to you. Hopefully someone else reading your post will be :)

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 9:27:00 PM   
punnishme


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		so what your post is asking me in my mind is:

am I willing to waste my time on someone who will never give me what I truely want in the long run?

Very easy question for me to answer:

For the last two years I have wasted my time on someone that I thought loved me as much as I loved Him. For the last two years I have sacraficed starting a family (in which I have very limited time to do now according to doctors before it's histerectomy time) i've done all of this in the name of love, in the name of Him, so He can be the one that is happy in the end, and I can be left in God knows what shape after I go through what so many other women go through all in the name of love.

The previously mentioned was my fault, I'm not saying it wasn't I misinterpreted my Masters words in the very beginning, I allowed my own feelings and emotions to grow over time, I was vulnerable and hurt from a previous relationship and I just wanted love so bad that I forced myself to believe that I could change someone elses mind if need be, but I've come to realize that I cant. He's not a bad person, I dont hate Him, but do instead honestly respect Him, as He's taught me a lot about myself, and He's been there through the worst and more, He's protected me and nurtured me, He's been more than lienient but still that's not enough what I want is a relationship with someone who will love me as much as I love them.

My answer is no. The next time I'm going to make sure it's right. I dont want to get hurt again. Yeah I know I'm only 20 and I dont care. I dont have time to waste, and what I'm looking for is LOVE with a little bit of D's intertwined.

< Message edited by punnishme -- 8/1/2005 6:06:55 PM >

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: subs to play - 7/13/2005 11:00:34 PM   
pandoravampire


Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline 		Well done punnishme, thats better than your last post i read straight away, you go girl.

i was willing, no wrong word, gagging to play while searching. plus you cant meet the 'one' if your not circulating with society, whatever society, coz people get found in wierd places in this lifestyle. Not just the purple draped clubs

what id like now, is to have the playfulness of when things were play partners, leak a little into this stricter D/s that we now share. pomp and cerimony is a costly venture sometimes.

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: subs to play - 7/14/2005 5:38:04 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: punnishme
am I willing to waste my time on someone who will never give me what I truely want in the long run?

Playing with someone isn't wasting time on them. As long as everyone has clear expectations and understandings of what's going on, it's not wasted time.

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: subs to play - 7/14/2005 10:31:54 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Thank all of you for your willingness to respond to my question. I think the answer truly lies within the individual.
As for myself, I think I will take the advice of Emerald and look to join a local group as a start.


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: subs to play - 7/14/2005 10:49:35 AM   
ItzKat


Posts: 86
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		I think that our relationships are just like vanilla ones in that we have to "date" before we find our long term relationships. We just tend to date with ropes and whips while they get dinner and a movie. We are never going to get the true measure of a person via email or phone calls. It is only when in the real life meetings that we can measure the spark of attraction that often marks a possible relationship.

I myself belong to local kink clubs. This allows me to socialize and get to know people. It is in this environment that I met my Dom and we have been together for nine years now. Meeting in clubs like this, allows you to play in safe places and with other to protect you while you get to know each other.

Kat

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: subs to play - 7/14/2005 1:02:46 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		I've learned a lot about myself and what I want in a long term relationship by exploring with my casual play partners. I've had amazing life experiences, made some lifelong friends, and learned so much about what I have to give.

For me, these almost 5 years have been guite an education, and a revelation.

I wouldn't be anywhere near as happy with myself, my life, and my submissive nature if I hadn't have gone out and met people and played. Waiting around for the one would have been a waste of good time for me.

Personally, I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything in the world.

I think it's very healthy to explore and play and make friends, and just let that special person walk into your life when the time is right.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to ItzKat)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: subs to play - 7/14/2005 3:05:15 PM   
dominmd


Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I just jumped in with BESS back in Feberuary. Good group with lots of nice people. Meetings every other Wednesday followed by a munch.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: subs to play - 7/14/2005 4:09:08 PM   
FuriousAngel


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Do many of you enjoy a play partner atmosphere with a Dom, or is the search for a true master to collar you, your only reason to play or serve? If the search is for your true master, are you willing to play with/serve other Dominants, while waiting for your true master?


This is a question I've pondered for months. I used to hold firm that I would not play casually. I have held as tightly to this as one would her virginity. (Errr...not to say I held on to that very long!) My position on this has become ... questionable for a couple reasons.

I think growth, education and knowledge have played a large factor in softening my position. Upon stumbling upon the endless lists of activities, I was terrified! Good gawd! Look what people are doing to each other! Eeek! Has everyone gone quite mad!!!???

I was in this mindset that it would have to be one pretty special Dom to take me to even half those 'places' because everything I saw caused me to ... Eeeek! But, now, I find myself curious as what used to freak me out, I now find HOT despite still not having experienced it!

This has led me to ask question of if remaining virgin-like is such a good idea after all. I've noticed many of my inital 'Eeeks!' turn to 'Yes, please!" over time. I think that I would be willing if I stumbled across a person I felt comfy with. I have no intentions of seeking out someone, nor is there any desire to. I just don't rule it out as a possibility the way I used to.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 20
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