Why Photos are so important

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Why Photos are so important

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> Why Photos are so important

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 1:36:48 PM

Cosmclord

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/23/2005
Status: offline

In my journal I had complained that too many subs and slave were not posting a photo. I received an email from a lady rebutting my journal post. Although I think she was wrong and was rather awkward and insulting she did have a point. That some ladies fear they will be recognized and chastise for posting in collarme. Many of us (me included) would rather not announce to the world we are into BDSM. My family and friends would not be well pleased to learn this. Still I maintain that a good photo of your face is important because it shows the Dom or Master who is looking what you look like. Why is that important? Well most of us males are visual creatures. We want to find a lady that conforms to our idea of looks and attraction. No photo and we would likely move on to another who did post a photo. Now this same woman who was so rude in her email to me pointed out that photos encourage phonys and HNGs (horny net geeks) to email them. I am sure that a photo of an attractive woman would encourage all users to email not just a select group. Yes a photo might encourage more email. I won't argue that. But no photo is worse to me. I applaude the women that had the courage to show there faces. Now Collarme has a technical problem here too I believe. If you show you have a photo and remove it the photo icon remains so it appears you have a photo up. This is a problem Collarme should address. The sooner the better. Ladies can also add to their profile that a photo could be sent if a request for a photo was made. I think that is a very good idea. However; its not as good as having a photo there in the first place.
be well, take care

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 1:47:50 PM

dommemagnet

Posts: 134
Joined: 10/6/2004
Status: offline

Cosmclord,

i agree that men are more likely to view a profile with a photo than one without however i agree with the lady's position as well. i don't post a photo with my profile for many of the reasons she mentioned such as privacy at work, in the community, with family, etc. It's a small world. i once saw a photo of a girl from highschool on a dating website. Never mentioned it to anyone however had i been intent on doing harm, it would have been quite simple to print a copy and post it in several of the bars locally that i've seen her frequent.

Are we more likely to e-mail someone with a photo? Depends upon the remainder of the profile. i read them before sending an e-mail. If after READING their profile and finding common ground in regards to interests, relationship goals, etc. then i'll drop a friendly note. i don't have a problem providing a pic after initial contact but just don't feel comfortable with my mug potentially being spread across the world.

(in reply to Cosmclord)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 1:48:36 PM

Isolde

Posts: 213
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Hamilton, Ontario
Status: offline

You haven't really given any real reason as to why photos are so important, beyond it being something you like to see. Some people prefer to approach the hunt for a partner from a personality standpoint, others prefer not to hand their photos out to someone they don't know. While I can understand being more visual and preferring to look at profiles with photos already present, lecturing people for not having them is unfair. They feel differently than you do. Such is life.

That said, rudeness is always a Bad Thing, and if she was so insulting in that email to you, she could have found a more polite way to present her argument.

Oh...and I had a photo in my profile initially but have since taken it down. Men being so visual, it seemed that they'd lock onto the picture and completely ignore my profile. So my lack of photo is a subtle encouragement for them to swing their eyes over to the text beneath my name and read about who I am and why I'm here, rather than get tunnelvision about what I look like.

(in reply to Cosmclord)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 1:59:59 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

It appears you are one of those rare males who has no problem posting a photo. If you notice, there is a little box in the search criteria area which can be checked to view only profiles with photos.
I am a FemDom and I do post My photos. My personal statistics show that about 1 in every 20 emails I receive has a photo posted to the profile. And, in spite of the fact that I specifically request one with an introductory email, I often have to request it a second time. But I have had boys freely admit to Me that if I hadn't had a photo posted they would never have written and, indeed, may not have even ever seen My profile due to their search criteria. Once I had no photos for 2 days while I was updating them. I received 3 emails in 2 days. Down from approximately 10 to 12 per day. Makes ya think???
Welcome to the boards.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 7/13/2005 2:19:57 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Cosmclord)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 2:07:34 PM

dommemagnet

Posts: 134
Joined: 10/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

It appears you are one of those rare males who has no problem posting a photo. If you notice, there is a little box in the search crieria area which can be checked to view only profiles with photos.
I am a FemDom and I do post My photos. My personal statistics show that about 1 in every 20 emails I receive has a photo posted to the profile. And, in spite of the fact that I specifically request one with an introductory email, I often have to request it a seocnd time. But I have had boys freely admit to Me that if I hadn't had a photo posted they would never have written and, indeed, may not have even ever seen My profile due to their search criteria. Once I had no photos for 2 days while I was updating them. I received 3 emails in 2 days. Down from approximately 10 to 12 per day. Makes ya think???
Welcome to the boards.

Oops GDG, i hope i remembered to send a photo when i sent mail thanking you for your comments on an earlier thread. if not, i apologize. 3 mails in 2 days isn't bad (taken in context of sub male with no photo posted) Let me see, that would be about what i get in a week.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 2:19:22 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I don't post a photo because i am not looking and i don't want to be recognized, and Hubby is afraid one of his business associates might see it. I do say in my profile that i will link those who want a photo to my webpage with my approval.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Cosmclord)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 2:22:51 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

My opinion is that my need for privacy and safety far outweighs your (or anyone else's) need to decide whether or not someone is good looking enough to bother with. I also tend to not be swayed by physical appearances and anyone who looks at that first and foremost is not likely to be someone I'd want to spend/waste time on anyway. It has nothing to do with having the courage to show my face, it's merely another way to screen out personality traits I dislike while protecting my privacy.

Edited to add that it would be nice if CollarMe gave the option of setting some pics to private and allowed us to control who could see them (perhaps just those on our favourites list, for example, or only those we give specific permission to). That way if I want to I can give someone permission to see my face without all and sundry having access to it

< Message edited by MsIncognito -- 7/13/2005 2:25:34 PM >

(in reply to Cosmclord)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 2:23:27 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

Oops GDG, i hope i remembered to send a photo when i sent mail thanking you for your comments on an earlier thread.

LOL... you wrote to Me for entirely different reason, and I honestly don't remember if I got a photo or not, as I wouldn't have been looking for one from you!
But you can send Me one if you would like! *W*

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to dommemagnet)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 3:29:19 PM

smile2cu

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline

I think a photo is quite important. I like to know who I'm talking to. Yet I can easily recognise the need for discretion.
The answer is quite simple. Obscure the face, or cover it, or show some other interesting parts. Surely you've all got some interesting parts?

Edited to add to Dusty: you've got numerous photos, all of which are nice, and which illustrate my point. You also though, have a very nice face photo. ~smile~

< Message edited by smile2cu -- 7/13/2005 3:34:49 PM >

_____________________________

Friendly, kind, cheerful, and oral.

~smile~

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/13/2005 4:50:36 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Photos are nice to have once you have established communication. I agree, placing a face with a conversation is much more pleasant. Unfortunately many males will send the "cock photo" right on the first email. I don't want to see their cock & if I did I would tell them. I want to see the person I am speaking with & ultimately would be meeting. I am fairly certain that I would not be able to recognize their cock at Starbuck's... LOL

I admit that I do not view profiles without photos. I will also admit I rarely perform searches. I do not have time enough to answer each email I am sent much less go out on a search & generate more. I prefer to be approached, just some of the courtship practices I have carried over from my 'more traditional' upbringing.

I post my photo. I am out & I am not concerned with being recognized. I can appreciate that many are not out & wish to remain private.

MstrssPassion

(in reply to smile2cu)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/14/2005 3:28:19 PM

MsKyln

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Oh...and I had a photo in my profile initially but have since taken it down. Men being so visual, it seemed that they'd lock onto the picture and completely ignore my profile. So my lack of photo is a subtle encouragement for them to swing their eyes over to the text beneath my name and read about who I am and why I'm here, rather than get tunnelvision about what I look like.

Isolde, Good point. I receive many emails where men don't bother to read the profile at all, and I've never put a picture on my profile for the very reason you stated.

(in reply to Isolde)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/14/2005 11:55:51 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dommemagnet

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

It appears you are one of those rare males who has no problem posting a photo. If you notice, there is a little box in the search crieria area which can be checked to view only profiles with photos.
I am a FemDom and I do post My photos. My personal statistics show that about 1 in every 20 emails I receive has a photo posted to the profile. And, in spite of the fact that I specifically request one with an introductory email, I often have to request it a seocnd time. But I have had boys freely admit to Me that if I hadn't had a photo posted they would never have written and, indeed, may not have even ever seen My profile due to their search criteria. Once I had no photos for 2 days while I was updating them. I received 3 emails in 2 days. Down from approximately 10 to 12 per day. Makes ya think???
Welcome to the boards.

Oops GDG, i hope i remembered to send a photo when i sent mail thanking you for your comments on an earlier thread. if not, i apologize. 3 mails in 2 days isn't bad (taken in context of sub male with no photo posted) Let me see, that would be about what i get in a week.

Did you send me on in our correspondence???smiles...Collarme deleted some of my emails for the first time, I would love to have another if you did, dommemagnet.

(in reply to dommemagnet)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Why Photos are so important - 7/15/2005 7:55:33 AM

FirmFare

Posts: 48
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

I am newbie so reading this thread is helpful to understanding the concerns people have for how others view their lifestyle choices. I have learned through years of shame based identity and now years of recovery that, "love me or hate me, but know me" is far better than, "know what I want you to know about me." That said, subs by nature are vulnerable to abuse from any strong personality. So it may be good to request of Collarme.com to have the option to hide images from non-members. Or, Just use published images to depict what kink you're into. Either way, I think the hottest pic I've seen on a profile didn't show the face at all. The sub was protrate on the floor, head toward the camera with only G-string panties on. Couldn't see anything to identify her, couldn't see any of her goodies, but I could see her dedication and her physical condition. Her resourcefulness in the design in that photo tells me far more than she could convince me of in her profile. Yes I read it, carefully. I always do, but in her case the photo was more telling.

(in reply to kc692)

Profile

Post #: 13