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RE: Online Slavery - 9/7/2007 12:09:57 PM   
xaria


Posts: 97
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: xaria
my only thing is, don't forget that some online ones only start online to move to offline. So, an online is far from "unable to address the psychological needs for physical contact...", because i feel, again, that i am living proof.


Having had relationship move from on to offline myself (and back again, on occasion), I hear what you're saying. 

I perhaps should have been more precise and confined that assessment strictly to the "online" paradigm. 

In any case, there should never be any debate that the validity of a relationship structure is determined by the participants within, not by casual observers without.





*smiles*  Thank you. i'm glad you didn't...seem to be upset for my point this out, but you are right about the strictly online.  It would be hard to do.  Although, each to their own is what dvart needs to learn.  It really doesn't matter if he does or doesn't get it.  Of course, after so many replies, and i'm sure more to come, maybe it will shed some light so he can understand this.  There is never harm in asking, but he completely missed that he contradicted himself within his own post, obviously.  ;)  From saying that online wasn't harming anyone, to saying that they may be doing damage.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
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RE: Online Slavery - 9/7/2007 2:40:11 PM   
dvart


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xaria

There is never harm in asking, but he completely missed that he contradicted himself within his own post, obviously.  ;)  From saying that online wasn't harming anyone, to saying that they may be doing damage.

Ok I didn't express myself very well. What I really meant to say to say was that it wasn't harming anyone else e.g. wasn't abusive at all, but I just wondered if it might be self-damaging. Something can be damaging without abuse being involved. It can be damaging because it avoids something that might be more fulfilling.

This was just speculation because I really didn't get the point and still don't.

I think it's really cheap to say "you don't get it so what ?" that can close down any question about anything.

Is this forum about enlightenment or scoring points? Aren't we allowed to speculate that something might not be a good idea? There is a difference, you know, between thinking that something might not be the best choice and wanting to ban it.


(in reply to xaria)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Online Slavery - 9/8/2007 12:22:56 AM   
xaria


Posts: 97
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
my Master always says that everyone, and i have always thought, that everyone has a right to their own opinions.  Yes, there are *some* relationships out there that are online that can be damaging, but no less than the ones that are real time.  Abuse can happen anywhere.  As long as in an online relationship people keep a real awareness between reality and fantasy, then the chance of being personally damaged is less likely to happen.

In the end, the reason i say that it doesn't really matter if you get it is, because as i can already tell, you're not really open to the suggestion.  If you would have read the replies with an open mind, especially my first one and servantheart's, then you would be at least getting a better picture. 

If no one wanted you to really understand, i doubt anyone would have answered.  i sure wouldn't be keeping an eye on this thread.  So, maybe i should have expressed my wording a bit different there i admit.  In the end of the day, you can really listen to what's being said, or keep asking others until you find the answer you're looking for.  i do hope you get your question answered, since you do seem to really want to know.  my only advice is to go back and re-read the entries without taking them in a negative light.  Search for the true message each of us is trying to help you see. 

Wishing you well,

xaria - Property of Xavier
House of Logos

(in reply to dvart)
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RE: Online Slavery - 9/8/2007 5:45:18 PM   
fungasm


Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline
Why Online Slavery or Submission?

Here are some reasons (it's in Market Speak- since it's straight off my website- which is an online construct... but the ideas are what is important. I've taken off anything to do with the cost):

An Intelligent Connection: The biggest sexual organ we have is right between our ears. On the web with Literotica and You Porn and so many adult sites- there is a LOT of erotic content. But how much of that content is really vapid and vacuous? This is for those who have more education, and a higher expectation of their communication. We explore the psychology, the physiology and occasionally the physics of this type of submission.

The Time: When you work a impossible hours, have a family to consider, or have other considerations- you may not have the time to serve as you wish. I have toys who work 60+ hours per week. There is never the time to go find a mistress and get in sync with her. This can be done on your time, in your office, hotel room, home, lab, or even during a day of sales calls. It fits into your life.
 
Promise Kept. Love, honor, obey: the challenge allows you to explore elements of yourself without being with a woman directly. You can share the experience, and learn from it, and grow from it- and still be happily married. (And it’s fabulous if your wife/partner wishes to join too!)
** Introducing Vanilla partners to kink is one of most common conversations I have. Together, we can plan ways for you to surprise and satisfy your partner while getting your needs met.
 
No Fear. No humiliation, physical pain, bodily fluids, arrest, torn clothing or STDs: these things keep you from being naked in a room with a woman with a whip.
 
No emotional risk.  Some have a different sort of fear… they want to use me as “practice” so they can explore without the fear of rejection or humiliation. I don’t mind being the one you try your lines on, and explore with until you get the courage to find the person you are supposed to be with.
 
Find your True Partner. You want to find someone, preferably someone kinky, but definitely someone to love. It’s a rough journey to do alone- it helps when someone’s got your back.
 
No need for experience. If you don’t know yet what you want, it’s a good way to explore.
 
Go beyond your physical/emotional limitations. When our bodies and minds betray us, we often find realms of physical exploration suddenly out of our reach. Even if something prevents much of real world play, I can still take your imagination to delicious new places. Aspbergers, MS, Arthritis, Crippling Shyness, and the lingering Ghosts of Abuse have all been faced.
 
Deal with personal issues. I’m not a counselor or a therapist. I’m just a rather kinky woman with an open mind. If you aren’t ready for professional help, this may be the ear you seek. We can talk about abuse and sexual compulsions and substance abuse. These are things that will affect your relationships- and while I can’t help you sort out the roots and causes, I can work with you to help find a professional (or a support group or an alternate therapy or ???) and help you reach for what you need.
 
Go beyond Geography. When you are forest ranger in a remote site or some other equally restrictive occupation, you don’t get the opportunity to play any other way. This takes you there. Or you may be in the biggest American Metropolis, and not able to reach the pleasure you see because it’s a 3 hour journey across the bridge, through traffic (if it’s moving) and that doesn’t even begin to deal with the hassle of taking the train.
 
Control. In addition to mental control, many of the challenges help with impotence and premature ejaculation.
 
Explore you fetish. Orgasm denial, chastity (I love being a virtual keyholder), anal, feminization, shoes, lingerie. If you have cravings you either don’t quite understand or don’t quite know what to do with- I’m here.

_____________________________

"Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that's not the reason we're doing it." (Richard Feynman)

Blog: http://antidomme.sensualwriter.com

(in reply to dvart)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Online Slavery - 9/9/2007 8:34:11 AM   
dvart


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fungasm

Why Online Slavery or Submission?



That was a very clear explanation, thank you.

But is it really meaningful to talk about what you describe as "slavery". Submission I can understand. But when you say "When you work a impossible hours, have a family to consider, or have other considerations- you may not have the time to serve as you wish. I have toys who work 60+ hours per week." does that really describe a slave ?

Surely slavery is unconditional and what you describe is very conditional. Nothing wrong with it but can it in any meaningful sense be called slavery?

(in reply to fungasm)
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RE: Online Slavery - 9/9/2007 2:50:05 PM   
glassdoll


Posts: 131
Joined: 4/24/2005
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It's a way of fulfilling a sexual fantasy without commitment.  A form of sexual exploration without getting too close.Or a new way of cheating in the vanilla world. Who knows. And keep your words  tight. It doesn't matter if it was a lesbian or a talking squirrel who enjoys online submission. It's irrelevant to the post.

(in reply to all4yourplsr)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Online Slavery - 9/9/2007 3:32:08 PM   
xaria


Posts: 97
Joined: 1/24/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
Does any part of this lifestyle have defined lines of "This makes you a slave"...."This makes you a Dom"...etc.  Sure there are characteristics that we associate with that of each caste.  That doesn't mean that what we see ourselves as *has* to mean we fit into a little box labeled by someone that pre-destined what we are or aren't.  Everyone enters this lifestyle for their own reasons.  No one really should look down their nose at anyone for how they decide to do it.  What is good for me, may be terrible for someone else.  It is really what makes us happy that is important.

What conditions make something meanful to me, may not make them for someone else.  Some need that exploration completely right in front of them.  For me, i can open my mind to exploration.  Sure, sooner or later, i crave to have it real time, but that doesn't mean it's not possible.  And it certainly doesn't mean i'm not a slave.  i am a slave, because i am obedient, have a need to serve, eagerly want to please, and to be found pleasing as my Master's pet.  That is my goal and place in life.  But again...this is just my opinion.

_____________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
xaria - Property of Xavier
House of Logos

(in reply to dvart)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Online Slavery - 9/10/2007 3:52:15 AM   
dvart


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: glassdoll

It's a way of fulfilling a sexual fantasy without commitment.  A form of sexual exploration without getting too close.Or a new way of cheating in the vanilla world. Who knows. And keep your words  tight. It . It's irrelevant to the post.


I think that the word "slavery" ceases to have a meaning if you can refer to it as "
without commitment" or "without getting too close". Words function to convey meaning. If they can be used to describe any situation then they cease to have a useful function.

Perhaps we can agree that we are talking about "online fantasy slavery".

Of course it "
doesn't matter if it was a lesbian or a talking squirrel who enjoys online submission" but I don't agree that it was irrelevant information. I wouldn't at all object to being described as straight or a Dom. Actually the reason I felt it important to say that she was lesbian was to make it clear that I wasn't interested in her sexually and so my post wasn't sour grapes. I thought this was obvious and I'm sorry that it wasn't.


(in reply to glassdoll)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Online Slavery - 9/10/2007 8:22:06 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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QUICK POST

Personally i don't get the online thing.   I need to be able to physically touch my Master kiss him be held in his arms, feel his touch.

For some online works.  So if it works for you more power to you.

(in reply to dvart)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Online Slavery - 9/10/2007 10:28:17 AM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xaria

quote:

ORIGINAL: servantheart

Online slavery can be very successful as long as those involved are completely honest with themselves and each other about the limitations of their situation and realistic in their expectations of each other. 
 
Taryn
 
 


i wanted to give you kudos!  You said it very well!  :)



Thanks, xaria
 


_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to xaria)
Profile   Post #: 30
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