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How do i talk to Him about this - 7/13/2005 9:37:14 PM   
punnishme


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		I've been with Master for two years now and lately things just seem to be getting harder and harder.

I'm not talking about in the physical sense I'm talking about emotionally.

There will come a day which I never know if it will be the next second or never when my Master will find the women He has been looking for since before I met Him. I've fallen completely in love with Him which was basicly forbidden from the beginning but I couldn't help it.

The day that He leaves is all i can seem to think about. I dont see Him for months at a time due to distance and when I do it's refreshing but the moment a scene starts the thought pops into my mind, I begin to cry and I cant take anything, I can be in the middle of sucking him off or hell even having sex with him and I start thinking about this and I start to cry. I'm at the point where I cant enjoy anything anymore because that moment when He says goodbye for good is all I can think about.

What do I do, I dont want to leave, and cant even bring myself to talk with other Doms in private as I feel that would be betraying His trust which it would be as it's forbidden. How do I let my feelings go and just become His slave without all of the emotions underneath it all?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/13/2005 10:15:21 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I really do feel for you but hun as partronising as it sounds you are young and time will be the healer if and when he does move on to someone else ... but I gotta ask why do this to yourself? The only way you'll be able to remove any emotion from the union is by seeing him as a cock, a means to an end, a prop for you to get off... otherwise stay in your nightmare and prolong the inevitable. *hugs*

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


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(in reply to punnishme)
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RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/13/2005 10:24:19 PM   
Smtreker


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		You really need to talk with your Dom about this. By your own admission, your fears are causing the relationship to fall apart. Unless these fear are resolved they will surely cause you to lose what you fear losing.

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/14/2005 1:24:33 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		I'm so sorry you're in this situation.

Does your dom know about how you feel? If not, you really need to tell him as soon as possible. I know it 'wasnt' allowed' for you to fall in love with him, but if you have done, that wasn't your fault. No one can control themselves to that degree (imho). Tell him how you feel, and then go from there.

Best of luck,

~ Elektra

(in reply to Smtreker)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/14/2005 5:24:50 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Basically, you're the nice submissive he can call up when he wants, but you know he's gonna find "the right one" and ditch you at that point?

I have to agree with Jasmyn, what fulfillment are you getting from this? Once again, love, specially if it's one sided, is NOT what makes a relationship healthy.

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/14/2005 6:30:58 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello There,
Unfortunately you can control your mind, but not your heart.
I don't blame your Dom as he's been honest and open in the fact he chooses not to have a loving relationship permanently with you. As he was up front about it he's not to be blamed. It's also not very fair to him to know you suffer under his leadership as he can't fulfill your desires.
You also are not to be blamed. At sometime or another most of us have felt the unrequited love for another. It's not your fault, but you also need to see it's a dead ended path. It seems like a lose/lose relationship for you both. Don't you see it hurts both of you in the end?
I think you need to re-evaluate your motivation to move closer to him. I think you have to accept the fact that being closer to him is only going to make you suffer more, not make him love you more since he's said he does not want this love to transpire between you. DOn't you think enough of your lonely tears have been shed?
I think you should at least leave the back door open to looking for someone who will also want the things you want instead of hoping you can change your Master's mind. Do you seek other friends in hopes of having a man of your own to love? If your Master is seeking his true love somewhere else, maybe you need to follow his example too.
If you find the right man, and find the potential for the type of relationship you seek, the love you give and don't get back here will diminish and not be so hard to let go of if you have a focus that makes you happy.
It's hard to step outside yourself and see things clearly when your heart is on the line, but I think you see this relationship is going nowhere. He from the very start said he does not offer what you need & is honest in the fact he chooses not to cross that line. You need to accept you can't help but love him & he can't help the fact he does not feel the same way. Love is not something you can force or get rid of easily. It can't just be switched off like a lightbulb. It's a feeling that has a path of it's own despite our better judgement sometimes.
I'm so sorry you suffer, and I will pray you find peace in your heart,
sub suzanne

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/14/2005 6:58:31 AM   
CitizenWolf


Posts: 44
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline 		I don't understand the mentality of telling a female not to fall in love with you (as a rule). First of all restriction to anything makes it that much more desirable/likely to happen. Secondly any time you have a "relationship" with someone feelings naturally develop. It's part of our pair bonding nature.

I was actually dating a girl for a VERY short period of time and it was purely for sexual reasons. But I never expressed that to her. Then I noticed she started getting all lovey with me and I just moved on. I wasn't an asshole about it but I knew I couldn't go any further because it would destroy her if I kept screwing her and she's making wedding plans in her head.

If this guy is having sex with you and keeping his head up looking for something better the whole time then I really think he's just using you. That is obviously not what you want, and you have to both be in agreement to needs and fullfilment thereof. If he wants a doormat and a pincushion for his dick then he should find someone who wants that and that alone. And as hard as it may be for you it is going to be up to you to cut your losses and move on NOW. If you know the day is coming then just get out, because if you continue this relationship on hopes and dreams that he may change his mind it will be psychologically and emotionally devestating to you when the inevitable happens and he leaves you. Strike first and strike hard, you'll feel better in the long run.

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/14/2005 7:54:07 AM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		It really does sound like he's using you. Like I said in my other post to you, I would start thinking seriously about leaving him for good. You are already apart for months, just start talking with others, maybe going to munches or play parties. You need something healthy for you.

perfection

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/14/2005 2:51:45 PM   
dominmd


Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Start talking to more people here. And as perfection20005 said, start going to munches, play parties. The right one is out there for you and he probably doesn't even know it because you are not out there.

(in reply to perfection20005)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 7/14/2005 3:01:15 PM   
OrlandoMars


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		"How do I let my feelings go and just become His slave without all of the emotions underneath it all? "

You can't, it is precisiely that part of you that makes you a submissive. People, both Doms and subs, are inclined to forget that a D/s realtionship is exactly that - a relationship, which implies feelings and emotions. You have to talk to him about it (and if you can't then that implies a further issue with yoru relationship) but when you do, be prepared that he might not want the same things you do and if that is the case, then it was not to be and you should move on because otherwise you will end up in thois constant whirlpool of depressive emotions.

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 8/16/2005 10:51:55 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Did you agree up front that this relationship would not become 'love'? Has he broken his side of the bargain? As tough as it sounds I think you need to sit down and talk (read communicate) with your Dom. If you can't keep your side of the bargain and he is not willing to change his agreement (which he is obviously not) then maybe it would be easier to walk away and not continue to torture yourself this way. As hard as that may seem, it might be the easiest thing for both of you.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to punnishme)
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RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 8/17/2005 6:00:32 AM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		Since this thread is a month old and the original poster allowed it to fade away without further comment, one might assume the situation resolved itself, one way or another.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 8/17/2005 7:34:32 AM   
ChereeAmoor


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		Okay, I am seeing red flags everywhere. Punishme, you wrote that:
quote:

I've fallen completely in love with Him which was basicly forbidden from the beginning
. ...umm....how can anyone tell someone else how they should feel? That doesn't seem quite right to me. Also, bursting into tears during sex, unless he is into that, is going to chase him out the door all the sooner.

This just doesn't seem healthy.

(in reply to punnishme)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 8/20/2005 5:01:42 PM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

Since this thread is a month old and the original poster allowed it to fade away without further comment, one might assume the situation resolved itself, one way or another.



might i suggest that the OP took it in an entirely different journey, herself.
i was quite surprised but she had her mind made up.
good luck to her


_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 8/20/2005 8:18:16 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Forget for the moment that I am married and that we are poly. In the days pre my current marriage and was single, I made it a rule not to have any form of lengthy relationship on a sexual basis alone. I’ve seen most of the different types of relationships before and really believe in the views that in any relationship one person loves too much and the other loves too little. If a relationship is to last, both people need to, over time, move closer to each other in the love department. Ok this is the short version because I’m too lazy to sit and write a lengthy post detailing it . For me personally, if I want to fuck you, I want to wake up with you naked beside me, share the morning shower with you and have breakfast with you… To do that I need to at least care about you. I guess you could say that sex is not anywhere near the top of my priority listing.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do i talk to Him about this - 8/27/2005 10:04:48 AM   
uberrmench23


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/29/2004
Status: offline 		I know it might suck, but to be honest with you I would move on. This lifestyle should be fullfilling for both people not just him. If you are not getting what you need you need to work it out with him or find another more deserving Dom. Fullfillment is differant for everyone. Some like a unloving Dom or Master, however I dont think you are one of those people. There are plenty of Doms out there find the one that will fullfill your needs so that you can fullfill his.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 16
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