Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (Full Version)

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SirEbonyPhoenix -> Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/6/2007 6:35:06 PM)

Recently, I spoke to a friend of mine, who is a Dominant and we talked about a situation in which another Dom placed a submissive under his protection, only he didn't know that another Dom was talking to her and that caused him to foolishly make some remarks that caused friction between the three of them. Based on what I was told, I wonder, if these things cause jealousy among Doms and if so, how would you deal with it?



kc692 -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/6/2007 7:47:53 PM)

Define under protection please.......



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/6/2007 8:12:59 PM)

This has nothing to do with dominance or being a dominant.  He stuck his foot in his mouth, oops, big deal.  Apologize and move on.  The girl has obviously decided she wants Mr Protector Boy, so let her be happy.  And ask her next time to inform him of when she is in a relationship with someone.



earthycouple -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/6/2007 9:47:06 PM)

I'm sorry...but jealousy?  Hardly.  If she has him...I don't want him.  she wants him....oh well, lest he wants her then he's free to go.  she "steals" him....I'm better off for it.  I haven't time for jealousy in my marriage forget in a WIITWD relationship.




Estring -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/6/2007 10:02:16 PM)

I graduated from high school a long time ago.



Focus50 -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 3:04:11 AM)

I'm not averse to swapping insults with other Doms etc but I don't do the jealously thing.  Frankly, if I were to have difficulty competing with another Dom for a sub's attention, I'd quickly conclude I'm focused on the wrong sub and exit - stage left....
 
Focus.



Redoubt -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 3:19:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I'm not averse to swapping insults with other Doms etc but I don't do the jealously thing.  Frankly, if I were to have difficulty competing with another Dom for a sub's attention, I'd quickly conclude I'm focused on the wrong sub and exit - stage left....
 
Focus.


If you substitute "Banter Playfully" for swapping insults (As I believe Focus was intending?) this pretty much sums it up for me. I don't get jealous 99.9% of the time, and I don't do the "Tharrr shall be BUT ONE Alpha, and it shall be Me" e-peen waggling.

Offline, I have found the majority of all other Dominants I've met to be decent folk, if you treat them with respect them, you tend to get it in return, and that includes their partners. If you behave like a troll, you don't get invited back. So you either learn, or you leave for good. Online, the trolls just can often just create a new user name and slime back in.



SirDraco7 -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 4:31:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

Recently, I spoke to a friend of mine, who is a Dominant and we talked about a situation in which another Dom placed a submissive under his protection, only he didn't know that another Dom was talking to her and that caused him to foolishly make some remarks that caused friction between the three of them. Based on what I was told, I wonder, if these things cause jealousy among Doms and if so, how would you deal with it?


It all depends on what under "protection" means. 
Also perhaps it depends on the relationship that was had with each individual.

If I had wanted and desired the submissive, then there would be be some heartbreak and jealousy to some lesser degree.  "lucky sh*t" sort of thinking.  However nothing that would personally make me speak out.
I'd pick myself up, shrug, say good luck and move on.  Perhaps staying friendly with her if that is possible.

I'm not the type of guy to say anything or make remarks.  That is unless I knew the Dom had a bad reputation or something like that.  at which time I'd warn and talk to her about it. 

For the most part, I'm not one who believes in fighting for submissives.  I know that in general submissives have more people after them than I have after me, that is just the nature of how things are.
I've been talking to girls many times in the past, and have them decide to go with someone else over me.
It has happened before it will happen again.  There is no point in beating your chest about it.  it is her free will and free choice, he should be happy for her.  Women are worth fighting for, but only if she wants or is with you.  If she wants someone else and you grab her arm and start a tug of war with the other Dom, that's immature.  Not worth the time, energy or the negative emotions involved.

Just my thoughts anyhows...





szobras -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 8:23:23 AM)

Simply,... I don't do jealousy over who talks to who. If someone does not want me in thier sandbox, I don't want to be there. If someone is not supposed to be talking with me, it needs to be respectfully, and clearly communicated so I can be on my way. I try to keep my life a drama free zone as much as possible.



akisha -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 8:32:03 AM)

Why is she under protection? what does she need protection from?

If she was under "protection" from one Dom then it was her responsibility to inform Him that she was playing around with another one don't you think?

I don't see this as a jealousy issues. I see it was a lack of communication on the part of the sumbissive. Sounds like she's trying to creat an issues between the two Dominants to me

But hey... that's just my take on it.



DarkDaddyZ -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 10:46:26 AM)

Sounds like pissing on the tree to me.

I hate the terms Under Protection almost as much as Under Consideration but hey that's just me.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 3:35:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

Recently, I spoke to a friend of mine, who is a Dominant and we talked about a situation in which another Dom placed a submissive under his protection, only he didn't know that another Dom was talking to her and that caused him to foolishly make some remarks that caused friction between the three of them. Based on what I was told, I wonder, if these things cause jealousy among Doms and if so, how would you deal with it?
 
 



I tend not to get jealous, I just accept it and move on.



Shadowen -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 7:11:00 PM)

You can add "being trained" to that list as well. Way I see it they're just euphemisms that unethical people use to get around things and still get what they want from someone.



Celeste43 -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/7/2007 9:06:11 PM)

Not a case of jealousy but of lack of communication. She was talking to someone and oh so carefully forgot to inform him that she's taken.  The other guy came up and made some rude comment apparently out of the blue. When the one she was flirting with found out she's supposed to be with the other one, he apologized. The one who's causing all this is the girl who is with one but still flirting with everyone else. She ought to make up her mind if she's on the market or off before she annoys all of the available men in her local group.



Areflectionofyou -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/8/2007 12:14:57 PM)

well she should have mentioned her position with all involved. Me personally , i don't understand the online submission thing.



ClassyPainToy -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/8/2007 1:37:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Areflectionofyou

Me personally , i don't understand the online submission thing.

tsk tsk, sweet pett.......I recall someone proudly displaying a cyber collar on their AOL account not so long ago. 



MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/8/2007 2:23:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

Recently, I spoke to a friend of mine, who is a Dominant and we talked about a situation in which another Dom placed a submissive under his protection, only he didn't know that another Dom was talking to her and that caused him to foolishly make some remarks that caused friction between the three of them. Based on what I was told, I wonder, if these things cause jealousy among Doms and if so, how would you deal with it?


First how can anyone take a sub under protection in cyberspace.... Second If a Dom is jealous he has to be very insecure with himself. IMO Jealousy is nothing but insecurity with yourself and your relationship.  I personally do not understand a Dom who is so insecure with himself and his relationship with his sub/slave he must restrict her communication with friends, family or the outside world for that matter but it happens. To my way of thinking if I can not trust my sub/slave to have outside friends without straying then we do not have much of a bond or a relationship.



Areflectionofyou -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/28/2007 5:52:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassyPainToy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Areflectionofyou

Me personally , i don't understand the online submission thing.

tsk tsk, sweet pett.......I recall someone proudly displaying a cyber collar on their AOL account not so long ago. 


pssssttttt ...guess what i live with my Master...lol is that cyber....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm don't think so



SirEbonyPhoenix -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/28/2007 6:17:21 PM)

More to the point, she should have been honest with both of them from the start, particuarly given that she played this same game with the same Dom almost a year ago. It's also my opinion that he should have had the guts to tell her, "Sorry, not going through this drama again. Have a nice day."



laurell3 -> RE: Jealousy among Doms:How do you deal with it? (9/28/2007 9:01:20 PM)

SirEbonyPhoenix, what do you mean by "under protection" and what was the context? looking for an r/t partner? or just chat?

My experience has been that "under protection" means that another Dominant is guiding the sub in a nonsexual manner to help pick a Dom, talk to Doms etcetera.  The context I've seen it come in has always been in online roleplay situations.  I would find it odd for someone to have a "protector" if they are looking for r/t, I mean if you're going to play with them don't you think you should be able to talk to them without help?  Although I have been contacted for third persons looking for another, I've always declined to talk to the third, it seems kind of 8th gradish "someone has a crush on you" to me, personally.

I think the concept might be ok for new subs, but the relationship between the two people d/s or m/s is so intimate that having a third person interjected into it seems offensive.  I'm not sure this is what I would think of as typical jealousy as much as a very uncomfortable situation. 
l



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