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RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/18/2007 6:39:33 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steelonme

Lets look at this another way... If you are bleeding you are injured. If someone has injured you on purpose they have assaulted you.


My son plays football. He frequently comes home, from practice yet, with small bleeding abrasions from someone deliberately running into him. That should qualify as assault, as does a full judo match between two high ranking practitioners.

It isn't assault because it is explained ahead of time that these injuries are par for the course when you practice these sports. For people into heavy pain, these minor injuries are par for the course in order to get the pain, or the catharctic release of emotions that accompany it. They know what they're getting into and they take the risk that they may be sitting gingerly for a couple of weeks.

Just like my friend who does judo accepted the risk of knee injury, like my son accepts the risk of a broken arm or even just a jammed finger.

Assault is unwanted touch. If you want it then it's hard to claim it's assault. Otherwise, football, basketball, wrestling, boxing, all martial arts etc would be illegal

More important here is why you are telling everyone what they should and shouldn't enjoy. Would you like it if people told you that you were sick because you like a controlling man who makes all the decisions in your relationship? If they saw him order a meal for you without asking you what you were in the mood for and he ordered something he knew you disliked? Most people would say that was abusive, to force you to eat something that you could barely swallow without gagging. But it isn't abusive if you enjoy the control,even if you don't enjoy liver or sweetbreads or kidneys or baby squid with the ink sac intact.

It isn't abusive if you know what you are getting into, you are capable of understanding the ramifications, and you feel it is a worthwhile trade off to get other needs met. That's what's referred to as informed consent.

The only people who need to consent are the people in the relationship. I happen to enjoy getting a heavy spanking. I don't enjoy it at the time, the same as I don't enjoy any heavy workout. But I enjoy the way I feel afterwards, and I enjoy knowing he's getting off on it. I know what I'm getting out of it and that's all that matters to us, that we both know what we're doing.

You're getting jumped on  because you are telling everyone else what they should and shouldn't enjoy, no different than being a Southern Baptist and telling everyone else that they'll go to hell for having sex in anything other than the missionary position. Stop ordering others about, it's rude.

You don't need to understand the pleasure others take in it, the same way I don't need to understand why some people like playing golf. All I need to know is that I'm not compatible with a golf fanatic. All you need to do is figure out what kind of person you are compatible with and tell all the others no thanks.

(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/18/2007 5:32:44 PM   
Steelonme


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline 		Ummm, you want to show me where I ever told someone what they should or shouldnt enjoy?

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/19/2007 8:25:48 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		By using the word assault. Assault means unconsented. Therefore when you announced that anyone who did this was assaulted, you announced they are being abused and by definition, assault and abuse are things people do not enjoy.

(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/19/2007 3:09:56 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Again, actually the legal definition of assault has little to do with consent (although it can be an aspect of mitigation).  Let's be very careful here with this idea.  In most states what we do, although consentual is very much not legal.  If one says, yes you can beat me until I bleed, that is still very much an assault and most likely in most states a felony.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/19/2007 4:47:29 PM   
Mercurialdame


Posts: 66
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steelonme

Lets look at this another way... If you are bleeding you are injured. If someone has injured you on purpose they have assaulted you.


But what if, a flogging sends you into a very very relaxed and pleasant space. That you continue to ride a wave of extacy, whilst the hits get harder, but your pleasure increases. What if you orgasm so many times you lose count. That when you look at your lover, you see reflected your devotion. And after such bliss, you are sporting a wound. That you adore also. Its a reminder of a very spiritual moment you both shared.
I fail to see, where assaulted comes into it for me.
Mercurialdame

(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/19/2007 7:20:11 PM   
Steelonme


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline 		Celeste twisting words or trying to interject different meanings into what I said isnt the same as me saying who should enjoy whatever. Sorry , you are wrong there. Laurel just came up with a good point there in previous post. Kind of reminds me of the fight situation where one guy would say he's going to hit you. Other guy says"oh yeah?  Go ahead! Now if he does hit him does it matter that the second guy told him to? Of course not. 

< Message edited by Steelonme -- 9/19/2007 7:21:38 PM >

(in reply to Mercurialdame)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/19/2007 8:20:53 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Assault does not mean unconsented and I enjoy it immensely....in fact, I would like to be assaulted right now

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/19/2007 10:50:48 PM   
Honsoku


Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steelonme

Lets look at this another way... If you are bleeding you are injured. If someone has injured you on purpose they have assaulted you.


Assault is the credible threat of harm. Battery is intentional causing of harm. You can batter someone without assaulting them and visa-versa.

(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/22/2007 4:53:21 AM   
Steelonme


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline 		In the interest of being correct I decided to go to an online dictionary. It seems my use of the word assault was incorrest in this case. I should have used the phrase aggravated assault.  And here come the posts...   lol

(in reply to Honsoku)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/22/2007 9:33:20 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		It isn't always projecting old hurts when you are expressing something you don't enjoy.  Some times you just don't like it. 
Blood is ok if that is what you wish.  Beaten is ok if that is what you wish.  But both parties have to be on board.  Not just some guy saying you will take it because I want to break you. 
I am a masochist and I would pass on that guy in a heartbeat.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Sounds like to me your projecting your negative feelings and reactions about your father onto a relationship that reminds you of the abuse you endured.



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/23/2007 4:16:36 AM   
Steelonme


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline 		Yes I realized he was a pass not long after we started corresponding. I came to the conclusion that he wasnt looking for a lover/sub/slave, but merely a sex toy. An object that he could use at his whim. In starting this thread I was looking for answers as to why he would feel that way. I see some are real pain hounds. Some like to give it others take it. So I guess in his mind it's ok to do that.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/23/2007 4:53:36 AM   
southeasternsub


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		Using gags does not mean that you cannot still be safe. Obviously you can no longer get your safe word out verbally but that is why signals come into play. You simply agree on a hand signal or some other kind of signal but you shouldn't be playing without a safety net no matter what the form of play it is.

(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/23/2007 4:59:11 AM   
southeasternsub


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		Well said

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/23/2007 9:29:39 AM   
mistressdiva137


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		our lifestyle dosent involve being beaten to a pulp let bleeding and bruised, physically hurting in pain for days on end. A proper flogging or caning does not produce blood or severe pain. There is a fine line between pleasure and pain and it is up to your dom to attain a perfect balance. Everyone knows practicing knows of safe words and signals so there should be nquestion about how far things can go, also most couples will draw up a written contract at the beginning of their relationship about each others expectations. It really depends upon the couple in how far they want to go, all Im saying is that bdsm practiced in how it should be should not leave one to look like they have beaten and left for dead. I am asked daily from my unknowledgable friends and aquaintances about how I can enjoy being beaten, this is the mentality in society about our lifestyle and unfortuneatly its abusive doms or people in general that have given this label. I hope that in the future people will practice our lifestyle within the parameters of a safe but enjoyable environment. Maybe eventually the vanilla people out there will come to see that our lifestyle isnt about abuse, but about love and dedication.

(in reply to southeasternsub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/23/2007 9:40:27 AM   
mistressdiva137


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		lol just a quick note, the icecream cone is funny cause in no way am I vanilla.  Ive practiced this lifestyle for quite some time and am a switch sub eventullay permanent dom.

(in reply to mistressdiva137)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/23/2007 4:34:16 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steelonme

In the interest of being correct I decided to go to an online dictionary. It seems my use of the word assault was incorrest in this case. I should have used the phrase aggravated assault.  And here come the posts...   lol



You have to look it up by state, not webster's.  For example I am in Nebraska on the Iowa border, the definitions of assault in these two states are markedly different, one allowing for the state of mind of the victim to control whether it is a crime, the other being a "reasonable person standard".  We also don't have battery here, although we do have "attempted assault" and "fight by mutual consent" and an assault can merely be physical intimidation or credible threat of harm, another poster wisely pointed out the difference between assault and battery in their post for their area.

My point was not whether you are right or wrong but that the term assault implies a legal term whereas others may not and we all tend to be a little defensive about the fact that the law should have any say in our private sexual lives at times. 

By the way you would be suprised how much information you can learn to commicate with a gag in with someone that knows you.  I recommend finger snapping to start with at first, he/she can hear it if they aren't watching for a gesture.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 9/23/2007 4:45:48 PM >

(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/23/2007 9:16:19 PM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistressdiva137

lol just a quick note, the icecream cone is funny cause in no way am I vanilla.  Ive practiced this lifestyle for quite some time and am a switch sub eventullay permanent dom.


It has to do with how many posts you have.  Has absolutely no bearing on you as a person.


_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to mistressdiva137)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 9/29/2007 9:46:20 AM   
Steelonme


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline 		aggravated assault means using some sort of weapon. It has nothing to do with being mad or aggravated.

(in reply to Aine)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 10/9/2007 7:05:17 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		just a side note....being broken, breaking or how ever you wish to call it....is no longer the preferred way to train a horse because in studies though out the world there have been discovered far more  effective ways of training.

gentaling, is the art of using horse language, the inate behaviors of the horse, to speak to him and ask him to do what you want him to do. this is faster more effective and creates life long bonding and trust.

a good dom knows this, and does not rely on breaking a sub, and saves the beating to a pulp for fun, joy extasy and reward.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Beaten to a pulp? - 10/9/2007 1:27:07 PM   
JordanNYC


Posts: 123
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Steelonme

Can someone tell me why a certain Master thinks it's ok to beat a sub's ass to a bloody red pulp? He says it's not like any permanent harm or broken bones was done. It's used to break a sub. Kinda sounds like my father. If I got hurt when I was a kid he would say " I didnt feel a thing". What? I'm not allowed to have limits?


you should always be allowed to have limits, if they're not respected, get the fuck out, now!


_____________________________

www.missjordanjones.com

(in reply to Steelonme)
Profile   Post #: 60
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