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AAkasha -> RE: dilettante Dommes (7/14/2005 5:09:35 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: agsub
font="Verdana"]I am curious as to other's view on this. I have come to the conclusion that many Dominants (at least Dommes) suffer from many of the same brain-lock issues that a large majority of malesubs do.
That is, they seem to assume that the only "real" D/s relationship is the one reflected in fantastic, popular media (leather clad bitchy Domme, spineless sub-human sub, ect.) – in contrast to the true nature of a true D/s relationship which is, IMHO, based on crystalline candor and a level of reciprocated inter-human trust that almost constitutes religious faith.
A true D/s interchange results in an extremely intense, intimate and positive relationship. Instead of being “spineless” or “subhuman,” the sub/slave is in actuality courageous in his trust and dedication, and is perhaps the most human of all.
Those who criticize this view are probably both poseurs and dilettantes (likely 14 year old boys pretending they are lifestylers while wanking) or have a seriously misplaced worldview. Likewise, I would rather be criticized by a vanilla zealot for my sexuality and lifestyle choices than a purported “Superdomme” who thinks just because she is 28 and has been to some play parties she is automatically invested with the right to expect submission or compliance, and who’s internal hypocrisy will not permit acceptance of the fact that there is no one “right” way to do what we do.
Of course, I have been wrong before. Comments?
The femdom "stereotype" -- from the latex clad vixen image to the demand for "instant" submission upon contact -- is a mostly male fantasy. I think rarely, if *ever*, does a femdom who enjoys bdsm for her own pleasures and by her own instincts maintain that kind of persona 24/7 or on the net to total strangers. Perhaps she dabbles in it here and there with an appropriate partner, but she doesn't represent herself fully as that ideal.
I believe that the women who portray this image straightforward right out of their profiles or online in chatrooms or on messages boards are:
1. Professionals who know that men respond quickly and eagerly to this persona
2. Men pretending to be women for the attention or amusement, or to attract "female" slaves or solicit cybersex.
3. Women who are interested in domination and through research falsely believe this is the way to do to it.
4. Women who love attention and know there's an infinite number of men that are turned to mush over this style.
What worries me is that this "ideal" might somehow just become the norm; in other words, those femdoms who practice BDSM for our own pleasure will be so outnumbered by those women willing to create the fantasy (either for cash, attention or as a last resort to find a mate) that we'll be an odd minority.
Don't get me wrong; I love getting dressed up in vinyl, wearing boots and getting into the full-on, catwoman persona complete wtih gloves and whip. But I don't think it's appropriate to behave that way to total strangers or project some sort of superfemdom persona in a discussion area of the Internet. That just seems silly.
Akasha
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