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Aswad -> RE: Bdsm mental programming (9/9/2007 5:10:12 AM)
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~fr~
Whether it is healthy to start a new relationship depends on the circumstances. That level of emotional upset is incompatible with some definitions of consent, and most definitions of informed consent. Which is not to say that it needs to be a bad thing, or even immoral, just that it's a minefield in that regard. Some people are minesweepers, some get blown up, and some stay away.
And whether one can heal the person depends on the nature of what one wants to heal, the nature of the person in question, where one is going with the relationship, how one lives, and what level of skill one has as a therapist. Any reasonably empathic person with good non-judgmental listening skills is about as effective as a generic therapist for most issues, but specialist training in dealing with specific kinds of issues, or training in specific schools of therapy (CBT or DBT, depending on the illness), can raise that efficacy quite a bit.
That said, not everyone can do that job, so I'm very skeptical of people trying to do it.
It requires being on the job all the time, which many people don't cope very well with. There is very little room for slip-ups when you're doing therapy. And when you're living therapy, the potential for slip-ups is a lot higher, as you do not get the slack to recover and unwind as long as you're together. Hence, lots of hard work and patience. But it can be done, and a D/s or M/s relationship can be an ideal environment, if (and only if, I think) the D-/M-type is able to provide a stable and predictable environment with a consistent and pervasive therapy.
In general, if other options are available, then a need to ask strongly suggests it be left to others, IMHO.
Health,
al-Aswad.
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