RE: Submission vs. Servitude

RE: Submission vs. Servitude (Full Version)

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hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/27/2008 4:57:10 PM)
i'd just listen to what he said and try to anticipate and be a little independent in a sense. some people like to order, some like to be catered to. some people go to a bar and order a drink, others prefer to be asked what they would like. some people drink one at a time, others get annoyed by being asked if they want another when they already said "keep em coming". for the most part, anticipating things should be relatively easy. just look for the routines and things that are common or expected and be able to "do" without needing some form of supervision. anticipating could also be as simple as asking if someone would like _______ rather than doing it without knowing they want it or waiting for them to request it. just in a thoughtful sense, or even curious. anticipating things you can do might even seem inquisitive. "would you like a pillow?" "are you too hot?" hand them a napkin if you think they need it. give them a massage unless they tell you not to. other than stuff like that, i mean if someone drinks a glass of milk before work every morning, you probably don't need to be asked to pour one each day.

Archer -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/27/2008 9:07:23 PM)
LOL and just in case you start to be comfortable with the things that you could do for him as "service" the next step is to make it look effortless as possible. LOL Making something look effortless is anything but effortless.

Poetryinpain -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/27/2008 9:45:27 PM)
Service oriented sounds much better to me than servile. Servile always brings to mind Uriah Heep from David Copperfield - rubbing his hands and being "'umble."

StormsSlave -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/28/2008 1:14:03 AM)
So, I know what he and you are getting at. I find it tough for me because I work a lot, this week 44 hours, some weeks up to 52. My job is physical, so I often come home whipped. I have to make my efforts to serve count. I listen carefully to the things My Lord says. If he says he would enjoy cookies, I bake him cookies. He likes it when I bathe him in the shower, and keep clean clothes in his drawer. I learned to do this by watching him do it to me. [:D] My Lord pays attention to my needs and meets them. I learned to do it from him. I ask questions. Things like, "Would you like it if I started taking off your boots?" I'm also honest. If he mentions something that I don't think I have the time or energy to commit myself to, I tell him. I would rather be upfront with him then disappoint him later. I find the things that give him the most pleasure are the things he mentions that he didn't think I was listening to. It's always fun to surprise him. I imagine if you listen carefully and watch closely, the things he most needs will become apparent to you.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/28/2008 5:47:22 PM)
what i do is pay close attention to my M'Lady and try to remember the things she mentions and what she likes. this is a challenge in itself as i have ADHD even with meds i am distract-able so i have to make a constant effort to notice and observe. the hardest one i have learned, sometimes nothing is the right thing.just sitting at M'Ladys feet so she knows I'm there is what she needs. when you find or learn one new thing find a way to add it into your routine so it is easier to remember it will take time and patience for you to learn and if all else fails just ask what can i do to better please you.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/28/2008 7:58:52 PM)
Start with simple stuff. What beverages does he drink at what times of the day and how are they made? Try to anticipate when he would like one. You can even start by asking, "May I fix you X to drink?" to check as see if you are right. Ask questions. Pay attention. Notice things. Take notes if you have to. Master Fire

KatsClaws12 -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/28/2008 8:40:18 PM)
There is already some really great advice on here so I dont have much to add to it. I have always been service oriented. Even in a vanilla setting if someone says something to the effect of "I need" or the like and I can get it like a drink or napkins things of that nature Im on the task before I even realize it. I think it is all in what you notice and pay attention to. I am always checking things out to see if my Mistress needs a drink or anything that might make Her a bit more comfortable so She doent have to worry about getting it Herself. If Im getting hungry or thirsty I will ask Her if She is ....little things like that. I figure if I am in the mood for something I always see if She wants it too or just randomly check to see if there is anything that She might need. As long as you take the time to notice it should come easily as time progresses. Good luck! Kat

gypsygrl -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/28/2008 11:06:17 PM)
The anticipation of needs isn't really an idea that sits well with me because it seems to lead into behaviors that border on passive aggressive. I don't expect Master to read my mind, and if I need something, I tell him. In this way, I try to take responsibility for myself. I guess I expect Master to do the same. To anticipate someone's needs without them having trained me in their preferences seems overbearing and a way of subltly excercising control. Its something you do with children, not grown ups. In other words, I agree with agirl here. I try to be attentive, and I know the sorts of things Master likes, but he's a grown up, and has me as his slave so if he needs something its very much within his rights to come out and tell me straight, without waiting for me to magically notice. I'm sure Master doesn't want me fawning over him like a child.

petpete -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/29/2008 2:18:58 AM)
gwen, maybe you served to many fruit loops for breaky to your Master so he needs maybe some corn flakes or rice bubbles?

eyesopened -> RE: Submission vs. Servitude (3/29/2008 5:15:03 AM)
Sometimes i find it's just a matter of remembering who comes first, sort of like remembering to say 'so-n-so and I' instead of 'me and so-n-so'. When Master and i speak at the end of the day, it's important for me to ask Him about His day and listen without interruption no matter how excited i am about my day. It's about a change in thinking where my focus shifts from me and my needs to Him and His needs. At very least to think of Him when i think of myself. Example, if i think of going to the salon to get my hair done, it reminds me that perhaps Master would like the pleasure of having his hair shampooed. It's a pleasure men don't regulary get. It's knowing i need to stop at the store and taking time to ask if there's anything special He'd like me to get while i'm there. It's those little things but the big thing is making that shift in one's focus.

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