RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards?

RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (Full Version)

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Level -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 9:45:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: Level Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive. [sm=rolleyes.gif] <stamps foot> *arches eyebrow* [;)]

OldFashionedGirl -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 10:16:50 AM)
I don't think it's bratty to have a certain type of person in mind when you are searching. It's just a preference,everyone has them....I got told once because I said I prefer guys around my age instead of 15 years younger that I was 'ageist'. Even when looking for a vanilla mate, you have preferences, just because you are a submissive or slave doesn't mean you give up your opinions....just the way they are voiced! [;)] Dina

teamnoir -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 10:20:52 AM)
Sounds to me like a thinly veiled attempt to control through manipulation. They don't like either your requirements or your response and so attack it. I dunno. I see something similar come the other direction. Actually, any time someone suggests that there's a "real" or "true" way that someone should be. Most of the time I think it just means that one person doesn't fit into another person's fantasy.

kdsub -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 10:22:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cyntilating kdsub its interesting you say this [Now think of this… a girl of average looks has no problem finding men, in fact they can be very choosey. That is not the case for the average man. ] because from my perspective ( being woman and a submissive ) I feel its just the opposite......my point being> it is about perspective ...and even how we perceive the others perspective at times.......dang that made my head hurt. Hi Cyndi Yes we are all islands in the big universe… the only thing that is truly real is our perspective… whether it is true or not makes no difference. Our comments say more about ourselves then people in general I suspect. Butch

Kelika -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 11:12:54 AM)
feastie, thank you for the constructive criticism. What’s funny is I do try to be very careful with my word selection as I know that in a forum like this, all we have are our words. There is no body language or inflection of tone that you can put (at least easily) in this type of situation. I do suppose that someone who makes more money or is more fit could be seen as me masking what it is I am looking for, but as I said before, it’s more about confidence than anything else. It’s a difficult fine line in being confident with yourself and seeming to come off as egotistical. I did read my profile to a man that I trust and value his opinions and he thought there was nothing wrong with it and agreed on the money thing. I’ve also put in a LOT of hard work on myself as I mentioned into being healthier. It is not easy and I want my dominant and I to share that desire together…to be healthy. Thank you all again for the wonderful comments thus far…smiles.

Cyntilating -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 12:09:33 PM)
Butch....... [Our comments say more about ourselves then people in general I suspect] soft smile agreed btw ..thanks for responding

LostMyself -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 12:17:24 PM)
um, picking someone you get into a relationship by learning about them and wether or not you like them is bratty? That makes most of the planet brats. especially a dom who you're going to respect and trust with everything.. be super-picky!

marieToo -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 1:46:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: Level Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive. [sm=rolleyes.gif] <stamps foot> *arches eyebrow* [;)] <lowers eyes>

TotalState -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 2:30:50 PM)
W. regards to the money thing, I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask for someone who is financially independent. To want someone with more money than you... ...well, speaking as someone who makes a decent living, that's the sort of thing that would give me serious doubts. But I guess those who are in search of dependent slaves would see it as a plus?

jaxnsax -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 4:01:56 PM)
Greetings kelika I am often told, from the Dominants at munches, that I am much the same way. I have a specific standard that I refuse to compromise on; often I am told that such an attitude is unbecoming in a submissive or slave. There are some though, who will tell me not to compromise; to stick to what it is that I want and need no matter what others may say about it. I have found that keeping to my own standards has allowed me the privilege of meeting and interacting with some absolutely wonderful Dominants; one’s who take pride in another who can hold their own stand. May you find good humor and health on this day jaxon

Kelika -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 4:02:57 PM)
Out of curiousity Total, why do you see it as something that would create doubts? I explained -why- I wanted someone who made more money, for the benefit that it created problems when I made more in my last relationship. Do you think if your slave made more than you do that you would feel that you are able to take care of her or would you feel, honestly, like it possible -could- make you feel a little bit insecure...or that she doesn't "need" you as much? I read Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus and they said that men need to feel "needed" (but without neediness) and that women need to feel "wanted". Thank you in advnace for your reply! Kelika

Kelika -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 4:08:07 PM)
jaxnsax, It's been much the same of the men in my life that know I will be a great slave. They tell me to make myself so strong that no weak man will ever think of owning me. Of course, some of them also believe that a woman cannot be a real slave if she -has- to work...to them it's a partnership and not slavery if he depends on her income. Before anyone jumps down my throat on that, it is what -they- believe. They simply see it as a Dom/sub situation and not M/s if he needs to rely on anything she has to give.

MellowSir -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 4:09:39 PM)
Well, having to have "more" money than you shouldn't be an absolute(unless he's a bigot, and thinks men should make more than women), so long as he keeps a roof over his own head lol. As far as fitness goes, well of course, how could he keep up with you otherwise(and vice-versa, fair is fair). And as far as pictures go, he should have a few of himself, and not just pecker shots lol. Tho if he expresses curiousity as to how you appear nude too, then it'd also be fair trade, quid pro quo sweetie. p.s.also a very nice black and blue dress :)

ArgoGeorgia -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 4:26:20 PM)
From what I've seen of some "Dominants", and I use that term loosely, I think there are quite a few who lack confidence, maybe don't have a lot to offer, and so they wear the mantle of "Dom" with the thought that they are now in control and any sub, no matter their age, intelligence, experience, beauty or standards should now respect them and kneel before them. It's as if they feel the title is all it takes to overcome all of their shortcomings. Which, unfortunately, seems to be way too many. But, I guess they do have their place, and that's to take what I call 'silly subs' out of the picture. Silly subs are the ones who grovel at anyone's feet, offers submission to anyone and everyone ("Oh thank you, Sir! I want the #2 Combo with a diet coke, if it pleases you Sir!"), and don't have a thought in their little head without it being given to them. Some Dom's may like that, but I like a little something upstairs. So, if the silly Dom's and silly sub's cancel each other out, maybe it helps to increase the quality for the rest of us!

Cyntilating -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 4:34:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: Level Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive. [sm=rolleyes.gif] <stamps foot> *arches eyebrow* [;)] <lowers eyes> you two are turning me on...gigglin

Kelika -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 5:06:42 PM)
As a side note, a Dominant man who knows me here locally and I were talking about this and he mentioned the reason why he suspected I also have the "financial" thing. Once he said it to me, because of some past experiences, it also made a lot of sense. Since he's known me for about three years, I gather to say he sees things in me that I don't see in myself sometimes. He said to me that my level and devotion to slavery would mean if I became someone's slave, I would turn over all financial responsibility like I did in my relationship before and I got burned pretty bad. As anyone who knows about slavery knows...you don't get to choose how your money is spent, and probably I have a fear that someone might take advantage of me financially. I take complete responsibility for my poor choices before in regards to my ex on this as I was not a slave...but as a slave, where would these lines be drawn? What responsibility does a slave have to make sure their finances are being used wisely because as a slave you don't own anything? He believes because of my past experience I want to make sure that he doesn't want me or need me for my finances, but instead wants me for me. I had to tip my head on that one.

MellowSir -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 5:13:50 PM)
Well, chances are pretty good that if he's supported himself, alone, then it's not money he wants. And someone poor that still has good character, good friends and family and isn't co-dependant can be just as worthy or more so than a man with so many riches that he doesn't know who his true friends are, or places himself above others because he has more material things, as the saying goes, "A rich man has less of a chance at heaven than a camel has of fitting thru the eye of a needle".....

TotalState -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 5:25:25 PM)
I'd personally be worried that I was being scammed for money in some way. But I'd like to make it absolutely clear that I'm not in a master-slave relationship. Me and my partner are equal outside of scene related things. quote: ORIGINAL: Kelika Out of curiousity Total, why do you see it as something that would create doubts?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 6:40:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kelika As anyone who knows about slavery knows...you don't get to choose how your money is spent, and probably I have a fear that someone might take advantage of me financially. Um what? I know plenty of slaves whose master ORDERS them to be in charge of the finances in the relationship, asks the slaves what is in the accounts and what needs to be paid and checks before taking money out. And plenty of slaves whose masters want them to maintain their own finances and bills separately. Now no, that's not the same as them getting to choose how they handle their money- they still have to act under the authority of someone else. But that authority does NOT necessarily mean they have no control or choices. quote: What responsibility does a slave have to make sure their finances are being used wisely because as a slave you don't own anything? Now owning something isn't the same as not taking care of something. Your responsibility is to choose someone who IS responsible and will know best (or do their best to know what's best) on how to handle things- whether that's keeping things separate, having you handle them, having them handle them, or something completely different. You have to go with what works for you.

Level -> RE: Is it being "bratty" or having good self esteem with high standards? (9/9/2007 6:42:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cyntilating quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo quote: ORIGINAL: Level Come at me with eye-rolling, shoulder-shrugging, a big mouth, and poor attitude, then you still have the right of your desires, but don't expect me to see you as a submissive. [sm=rolleyes.gif] <stamps foot> *arches eyebrow* [;)] <lowers eyes> you two are turning me on...gigglin *smiles*

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