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Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:24:26 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

it seems every message i send is read and ignored, or if i do get a response, it demands money. im always respectful in my messages. can any Goddess help me and tell me where im going wrong? anyone from the UK also would be a big plus.

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:26:06 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

Have you gotten involved in your local scene? That's always the best way to meet people.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:28:08 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

Have you gotten involved in your local scene? That's always the best way to meet people.

thankyou so much for your reply. local scene is non existant - live out in the sticks where nothing happens ha ha.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:28:55 AM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

Take out the part about seeing a Pro. Try simply stating what you are seeking NOW. If you run across someone who tells you to turn over your life savings, run in the other direction. You want something long term and more permanent, then say so. Simple and direct.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:29:52 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DivaDuchess

Take out the part about seeing a Pro. Try simply stating what you are seeking NOW. If you run across someone who tells you to turn over your life savings, run in the other direction. You want something long term and more permanent, then say so. Simple and direct.

thanks for the tips.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:31:23 AM

MsLilac

Posts: 151
Joined: 5/31/2007
Status: offline

It might help if you didn’t whine, and imply that a woman mains motivation in the lifestyle is money.

But beyond that, what type of profiles are you messaging? The ones with the glamorous fetishy photos maybe?

Patience and perseverance I believe is the key. Do you go to local munches?

< Message edited by MsLilac -- 9/9/2007 10:33:12 AM >

_____________________________

I’m sorry, I don’t do autographs

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:32:20 AM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

I've trained several slaves and subs. One of the things I ALWAYS tell them ... speak clearly, plainly and to the point.

BTW ... you're welcome.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:32:55 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLilac

It might help if you didn’t whine, and imply that a woman mains motivation in the lifestyle is money.

But beyond that, what type of profiles are you messaging? The ones with the glamorous fetishy photos maybe?

Patience I believe is the key. Do you go to local munches?

please understand, i do not imply this about women at all. women are what i look up to i would never use their name in disrespect.

(in reply to MsLilac)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:42:11 AM

MsLilac

Posts: 151
Joined: 5/31/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: underyourshoe

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLilac

It might help if you didn’t whine, and imply that a woman mains motivation in the lifestyle is money.

But beyond that, what type of profiles are you messaging? The ones with the glamorous fetishy photos maybe?

Patience I believe is the key. Do you go to local munches?

please understand, i do not imply this about women at all. women are what i look up to i would never use their name in disrespect.

Cool, then just keep at it :-)

Have you tried your local scene? If not, there is a UK based site that keeps a list of them. I won’t put the link on here, as I don’t know if that is allowed, but if you want it, just mail me.

I think taking that part out about seeing a pro is good advice, but you need to be honest about this when you are under consideration. Honesty is always a good thing.

The reason I mentioned the whiney thing, is the Mistress forum gets a lot of passive aggressive men moaning about having to pay for their fetish fulfilment - whining is never a good quality. But don’t get disheartened, and just keep persevering.

< Message edited by MsLilac -- 9/9/2007 10:45:04 AM >

_____________________________

I’m sorry, I don’t do autographs

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:43:33 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/29/2007
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thanks MsLilac

never dreamed i would get such a decent well thought out response. much appreciated.

(in reply to MsLilac)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 11:13:54 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
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have changed it now. thanks all!

< Message edited by underyourshoe -- 9/9/2007 11:14:29 AM >

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 11:15:41 AM

MissDavies

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

us Dommes dont want 22yr old sub males!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 11:18:46 AM

underyourshoe

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/29/2007
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:-(

thats really upset me.

(in reply to MissDavies)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 11:21:12 AM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
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For posts that upset you, there's the little red hand. It can make your forum experience a Hell of a lot more enjoyable.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 1:20:49 PM

YesMistressIrish

Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline

Persistence pays off!

Like others said here, be very clear what you really want. There are plenty of scammers, however enough real people who will become friends and more to make your efforts worthwhile.

We're out there. Best of luck.

Irish

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 2:13:37 PM

DarkLovelyDomme

Posts: 43
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissDavies

us Dommes dont want 22yr old sub males!!!!!!!!!!!

I would rephrase that as sometimes Dommes are more wary of younger subs than they are of older ones. It's partially ageism: the prejudgement is that he won't be respectful or that he's not serious about the scene. And-- in the case of Pro Dommes -- there's an element of feeling unsafe: younger men are thought of as being suspiciously "out of place" in a commercial dungeon.

Personally, I have sessioned with a sub in his twenties without incident. (And then sessioned with some older "gentlemen" who had to be asked to leave.)

In regards to the Original Poster's profile, I would suggest removing that bit about spoiling a Domme. It might be that they're misinterpreting it as a financial promise?

*Mistress Eliza

(in reply to MissDavies)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 5:16:59 PM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

You've been here a week or two. So if this is the place you're talking about I think you are being really unrealistic with how long it takes to stumble across someone compatible. respectful is not all I expect in an email. Something particular to me and my profile would also be helpful. Without knowing exactly what you are sending it is hard tot ell you why you get no response except money.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 7:39:44 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissDavies

us Dommes dont want 22yr old sub males!!!!!!!!!!!

I personally would not presume to speak for even a 19 year old "domme" and would appreciate it if you would extend the same courtesy to all other dommes and do not presume to speak for all "us dommes", OK?

edited for fat fingered typos

< Message edited by kc692 -- 9/9/2007 7:40:59 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to MissDavies)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:04:27 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Taking this opportunity to say that I absolutely love your new pic LadyK! I have been admiring it for a few weeks now...
Cannot respond to this topic as I simply have nothing further to add.
Sorry for the hijack...carry on!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 9/9/2007 10:05:04 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to kc692)

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RE: Do i need to lose my life savings to get anywhere? - 9/9/2007 10:19:10 PM

iammachine

Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
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There's a lot of threads similar to this one that have been posted on this forum. I suggest hitting up the search function.

In regards to why you have little success in getting replies, it might help to know exactly how you approach someone.

Common mistakes that reduce chances of responses:
one liners
form letters
generic or impersonal statements
focusing too much on play or a laundry list of kinks

Ways to be more presentable:
Read her profile completely, and comment on specific things in it (not just "I liked your profile" or other generic statements that scream "I didn't really read it"

)
Take inventory of your positive characteristics, what makes you someone interesting to know?
Pics help a lot, at least one clear face photo is preferable.

As for messages asking for money, (some) money dommes are kind of the "female" (some are men pretending to be women...) of the email everything with two legs and an innie male (hng, wanker, whatever). Both cast a wide net, a really wide net. Many of the cold emails you will get may be from these kind of people.

Some women (like myself) are proactive about contacting people, many are not because, really, a woman doesn't need to be, plenty of people will contact her. As such, more often than not you're going to need to take the initiative, and you're going to need to make yourself stand out in some way. Again, I can't stress this enough, verifying that the person at least isn't blatantly incompatible before trying to make an intro helps a lot. It's no guarantee, of course, but it's a big hop in the right direction.

Aside from that, yeah, meeting people in the real world is always the best. Munches, fetish clubs, leather bars, kinky conferences, et cetera. You mentioned being in the sticks, but a day trip or a weekend away for an event can be very beneficial for networking.

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I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to underyourshoe)

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