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Dom Apprenticeships - 7/15/2005 3:24:45 PM   
cowtowndom


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline 		I am a complete novice in the lifestyle and am interested in learning more.

Do dom/dommes ever take on other doms as apprentices? I wouldn't be interested in being submissive.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/15/2005 4:42:20 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Do dom/dommes ever take on other doms as apprentices? I wouldn't be interested in being submissive.


Sound's like a cheesy reality show. Though, in all seriousness what you are asking for is a mentor.

Basically just watch..chat and if someone catches your eye. Talk to them and learn. Most people will be more than happy to help you out.

(in reply to cowtowndom)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/15/2005 4:48:21 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		That show has already been done...................YOU'RE FIRED!

No, in all seriousness, I can sell you my "Dom's are a dime a dozen", autobiography for $19.99, but if you act now, I will also throw in "subs are not just boats under water", for no additional cost.

No, really, really serious now...............Join a group and seek a friend who is an experienced Dom.

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/15/2005 11:36:53 PM   
Smtreker


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, it is call mentoring. At one time before the internet, it was a common practice. It is now refer to by many as the Old Guard. As mention before one of the best ways to find a mentor is to join a local group or befriend a local Dom.


< Message edited by Smtreker -- 7/15/2005 11:38:27 PM >

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/15/2005 11:51:04 PM   
RexLongBeach


Posts: 58
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cowtowndom
I am a complete novice in the lifestyle and am interested in learning more.

Do dom/dommes ever take on other doms as apprentices? I wouldn't be interested in being submissive.

Many Doms will act as mentors. Some of them are even qualified to do so.

Find one that you feel communicates well, and who you find easy to talk to. And, no disrespect for online Doms or anything, but you'll probably do better if you learn from one who has been doing it in "Real Time."

Don't forget to have fun.

Rex

(in reply to cowtowndom)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/17/2005 2:22:54 PM   
JerryInTampa


Posts: 138
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline 		even without a specific top mentoring, a lot can be done by asking and (more importantly) listening. Having an experienced sub doesn't hurt either.

Go slow, go careful, seek an external sanity check wherever you can, and when taking on responsability (such as a slave), be aware of what you are getting yourself into and be sure you will see it through for all involved.

My $0.02

(in reply to RexLongBeach)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/18/2005 1:55:23 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		All who want to learn I will teach.

Safety, after all has always been one of my biggest concerns with anyone wanting to try things out. There are certain guild lines about bondgage, skin, and blood flow that everyone should atleast know about before getting started. Not to mention various ways of after care and handleing the terrible situations of Shock, Flash Backs, Asthma Attacks, Bad Bleeding, and such. A little first aid knowledge wouldn't hurt to learn for those just incase occurances.
Bondag, Blind folds, and some spanking along a little verbal naughty talk seem to be the typical things that new masochist try out.

In bondage, I recomend that you know a thing or two about slip knots or atleast have some scissors near by for quick releases. If rope is not your thing, then braces, cuffs, and velcro are easy to attain. And don't forget that padding under your bondage gear such as a rag or something soft keep burn and loss of blood flow away. Also make sure that you can quickly release them as a just in case.

Blind folds can be made out of cloth or you can buy on at a store. Just remember not to make them to tight.

As for everything else, communication builds trust as you slowly yet gradually build to more creative and fun areas.

Best of luck and don't forget to start attend BDSM events. After all, if no one will teach you, atleast you get to watch and learn.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to cowtowndom)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/18/2005 9:13:44 AM   
Gemeni


Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		I learned by attending public dungeons, and then practiced.

But all in all,I work too hard and don't have the time to mentor anyone.

Some folks are approachable and will give you the time-others can't afford to.

Just be polite enough not to assume either initially-and you should be fine.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/18/2005 10:30:37 AM   
LRODANDMASTER


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline 		I WILL GALDLY EXCEPT A DOM WHO WANTS TO BECOME MY APRENTICE PROVIDED THAT HE HAS A WOMEN LIKE FOR ME TO DEMONSTRATE ON

_____________________________

LRODANDMASTER TYPE LIKE DUMASS BUT HIM NO DUMASS

(in reply to cowtowndom)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/18/2005 10:35:10 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Glad to see you reinventing yourself and everyone else again, Roddy!

LMAO,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LRODANDMASTER)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/18/2005 10:58:54 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Many Doms will act as mentors. Some of them are even qualified to do so.


Exactly, most who apply are not qualified....

(in reply to RexLongBeach)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/19/2005 4:58:31 PM   
QuietMaster4u


Posts: 49
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		Someone once told me, that to be a good dominant... One should start out as a submissive. Hence learning the lifestyle from the bottom up.

(in reply to cowtowndom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/19/2005 6:14:30 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		So many topics to speak of within this thread already.

Mentoring: yes, a practice that use to be common within many modalities of the 'leather lifestyle'. The practice today is more along the lines as described so far... find someone that you can communicate with & that share your points of view so far. In fact, pick more than one person so that you can gain more views. You do not need to pick a male dom to mentor from. You can learn much from women as well & don't count out the submissives either... lots can be learned from their perspective. It would be best to find someone that you know real-time as opposed to online. Get involved with local groups & functions.

Your best way to learn is by actual experience & exposure. Many groups & functions have a host. Introduce yourself & I am sure he/she will know several attendees to introduce you to as well.

There is a lot more to being a dominant than knowing how to tie a knot & what toys to pack in the play bag. That is an entirely different facet... topping. If this is the area that you do wish to learn about primarily, then yes... get out the the play parties & watch. Most tops like putting on a good show, but don't expect them to welcome your questions while setting up for a scene, during a scene or right after they finish. That time is their time (persons involved in the scene) They will be focused on one another prior, during & afterward if an aftercare is part of their practice. Wait until you see them in social mode again before politely approaching.

As to the statement made that one should start out as submissive in order to be a dominant... oh boy that will open the proverbial can of worms. That theory ranks right up there with the whole sub vs. slave debate & the existence of switches. I am not saying that this is wrong or right. Go with your own feeling. Speaking only of myself... this route would not work. Why??? Well, I am not submissive. I am not wired like a sub, meaning my thoughts, feelings, reactions & reasoning is not submissive... I am dominant. Keep in mind... BDSM interaction roles (top & bottom) do not equate the roles identified as dominant & submissive to many people. The terms dominant & submissive typically mean these people have a mindset that extends past physical interaction.

Now, learning about techniques with certain tools are best learned if you have an experienced person demonstrate on you or even if you have a volunteer. I bet you dollars to donuts you Will learn the non-strike zones much faster once you have tasted the sting of that area being struck.


Asking questions is always a good start... use the message boards until you find a local peer group. Then you can always use the message boards to bounce ideas around you gather from your real-time contacts.

Good Luck,
MstrssPassion

(in reply to QuietMaster4u)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/19/2005 6:16:14 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietMaster4u

Someone once told me, that to be a good dominant... One should start out as a submissive. Hence learning the lifestyle from the bottom up.


But since most dom's orientation isn't submissive, they can't submit - possibly grit their teeth and bottom, but never submit, so they can't learn to be who they are by being who they aren't.

That's like saying in order to love a woman, I need to be one first.

Absolute nonsense.

(in reply to QuietMaster4u)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/19/2005 10:39:59 PM   
QuietMaster4u


Posts: 49
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		The person in question, had started his life in BDSM as a submissive for several years... But it is pointless to argue on this point...

But yes, your saying is true. A woman knows how to please, or make love better to another woman than any guy could ever hope to know. Which also makes the reverse true...

It was simply a point of view, nothing more

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/20/2005 7:57:28 AM   
Kiaban


Posts: 124
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietMaster4u

The person in question, had started his life in BDSM as a submissive for several years... But it is pointless to argue on this point...

But yes, your saying is true. A woman knows how to please, or make love better to another woman than any guy could ever hope to know. Which also makes the reverse true...

It was simply a point of view, nothing more



The first statement is an old myth that is slowly losing steam as the logic is flawed.
The second statement reguarding same/sex do know <<better>> ..again flawed and it's so obvious not even going to bother debunking it.
Third is the only one you got right


(in reply to QuietMaster4u)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/20/2005 2:40:10 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

But since most dom's orientation isn't submissive, they can't submit - possibly grit their teeth and bottom, but never submit, so they can't learn to be who they are by being who they aren't.


Over my year's in the lifstyle I've seen a great many so called doms say they would submit to me. Still today, most will say I'd make a good dom.

However, I am my doms sub and that's the extent of what I will ever be within the scene.

So the logic is flawed. We are all on different levels. I very well could be more dom-like than you yet I am a sub. Just as you could be more dom-like than the next person. It doesn't make any of us less dom-like or less sub-like to our partners.

That's why there are so many different people in the world. We are all different.


(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/22/2005 9:33:43 AM   
Master4slavegirl


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		I'm also in your situation....a new Dom. I did happen upon a local Dom in my area who is a disciple of the Old Guard methodology. I was able to make a favorable impression on him so he has taken me under his wing to train me. I look at it as an apprenticeship as much as anything. But something that is also important is that YOU may have to accept some measure of submission to learn from any Dom you find. You're the learner, they're the teacher. Deal with it, learn quickly and earn the respect of your Mentor.

(in reply to cowtowndom)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/22/2005 4:02:52 PM   
cowtowndom


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the serious, and smarta (uh not so serious) responses to my question. I am very clear on my nature and know, without doubt, submitting to another Dom/me would not work. I do, however, understand the concept of deference, and would respect other Doms (as well as thier subs).

I look forward to my journey, and have no doubt that the seriousness in which I take this role, will benefit a very lucky submissive.

My greatest concern is safety. Several of you have posted some very practical ideas in that regard. I'm especially intrigued with the concept of aftercare, both physical and emotional.

Thank you again for all of your responses.

(in reply to Master4slavegirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dom Apprenticeships - 7/23/2005 4:53:47 AM   
hardxdrive


Posts: 119
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline 		being a dom cant be taught. you either are or your not.
mentorship is bullshit. a mentor is a person not good enough to be your dom, but good enough to answer a question

(in reply to cowtowndom)
Profile   Post #: 20
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