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darchChylde -> RE: The Ultimate Guy Quiz! (9/14/2007 1:46:19 PM)
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1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking - and in general, you should be very careful when you talk about sex at all; i usually let them bring up the subject
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship - it's not fun to wake up with a girlfriend when you thought you had a one-night stand
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first - i try to make certain she comes to climax before i even penetrate
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss Sportsworld
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play - and this is why you want to keep your floor clean; who wants to pluck cheerios and coffee grounds from their ass?
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience - i love to cuddle, sex doesn't necessarily have to be involved
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $300.00 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours - what can i say? she's dating me with my jelly belly... so long as her self confidence isn't adversely affected, i'm great with it
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
d) none of the above - i added this one... i'm right here, so not a mythl; being a man should not mean you are a thagacious ass, so not an oxymoron; and i'm not about to call myself a moron, actually i do often but not about that
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
d) gimme, gimme, gimme; foreplay can be the whole meal; definitely an entree - his one i added too
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends" - as corny as it sounds, good friends are harder to find than good sex; that and it make it easier to end up fuck-buddies
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, one lonely bitch."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time.
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
d) hmmm, i've never been really comfy with masturbation in front of a woman; except to prime things (and i hope she's not watching too closely then either) - yep, added this too
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ANSWER KEY:
1.) If you answered "a" more than seven times, check your pants to make sure you're really a man. - yep, i still got big-boy parts
2.) If you answered "b" more than seven times, check into therapy --you're still a little confused.
3.) If you answered "c" more than seven times then "YOU DA MAN! YOU DA MAN!"
(Rate your score with the key at end of the quiz)
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss Sportsworld
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $300.00 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a) No concern of yours
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, one lonely bitch."
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time.
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
==============================================
ANSWER KEY:
1.) If you answered "a" more than seven times, check your pants to make sure you're really a man.
2.) If you answered "b" more than seven times, check into therapy --you're still a little confused.
3.) If you answered "c" more than seven times then "YOU DA MAN! YOU DA MAN!"
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