|
ownedgirlie -> RE: Love/In-Love (9/12/2007 12:18:17 PM)
|
My experience is that "in love" involves something akin to infatuation, only more. Loving someone beyond "in love" has a different kind of depth. Not necessarily deeper, just different.
As an example, I'll use a conversation I had with my mother recently, regarding my father, who died of bone cancer last year. She said all those years, she questioned whether she loved him anymore. They were married 51 rocky years. She said she knew she wasn't "in love" with him anymore. She no longer desired him, and at times she didn't even like him. He was a pain in the ass as a husband, and not very kind to her when it really mattered.
But when he got sick, she did not budge. She took care of him. She did amazing things to keep him as comfortable as possible (bone cancer is excruciatingly painful). She cleaned his bottom. She gave him catheters. She had to flush out his gums, twice a day, because they were kind of coming apart at the end. She doted on him. She found amazing strength and just took care of him without complaining...while crying for his pain...while scared for him.
She said she realized she really did love him, to levels she didn't know before. She cried over the time they wasted arguing over things.
She said in turn, he was "in love" with her, but did not love her. He admired her. He beamed at her when admiring how beautiful she is. He brought her flowers. He hugged her, and danced with her and adored her. But when she broke her wrist, he still asked where his dinner was. When she had breast cancer, he avoided her because it made him uncomfortable. He didn't come through for her when it mattered most. There wasn't enough love to carry him through.
It was an interesting take on "love vs. in love" and kind of makes sense to me.
|
|
|
|
