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journal - 9/12/2007 1:58:18 PM   
ineedadomforme


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		alright, guess i am going to try this too. here we go.
in regards to journaling. when on a daily basis journal entries are made in regards to anything and everything  that goes on, might it be emotional, physical, questions that arise and even things that bother one in regards to the actions from the Dom, but never anything is mentioned by Him after He may read it, it seems like evrything is ignored. what should one do? ask why, ignore it as well, keep bringing it up in journals....

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 2:16:07 PM   
Kelika


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline 		When I had a journal and a mentor who was dominant over me, the rule was this.  My journal, was -my- journal.  I was to put everything and anything in there, but it was to be like a journal kept under lock and key even though the dominant party could and did read it. 

Nothing was ever brought up that was put in my journal -unless- I brought it up outside the journal entry itself to the dominant.  This was put into place so that I could feel safe and secure that I could put anything even bitching, moaning, complaining, name calling even and I would never be punished for it.  The journal was not for the dominant, but for me.  A way for me to track my own progress in growing into a better human being.  

My suggestion is to ask the purpose of the journal and what your dominants expectations are from it, as well as what/if any feedback you will receive.  It could be much the same thing I had above.

Well wishes,
Kelika


_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin

(in reply to ineedadomforme)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 2:37:19 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		A journal should help in one or both communication between the two people or help the person journaling to sort out things as they pertain to them. Keeping a journal and having your dominant reading it is not a form of communication by the acts themselves.

Both of you need to discuss issues that are between you two and if he is not bringing them up after reading your journal as you both discussed or you hoped he would then a different way to bring up issues must happen.

Personally I am not one to journal emotions and therefore any problems and me and my Master came up with both of us sitting down once a week at the exact same time to talk about anything without worries from either side.

Talk to him express your problem and see what works best for bringing up issues and talking about them for you two and do not get tied down by the tools of the trade.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Kelika)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 4:03:32 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		THis is one of the main reasons I advocate AGAINST journals.  They set up an expectations on the part of the slave that the master SHOULD do something, that they SHOULD respond in a certain way.

And when that doesn't happen, the slave gets resentful.  And since most "doms" just give a sub a journal to keep more busy work and distraction, they don't really care anyway.

To the OP- talk to your master.  Did he suggest he would read the journal?  Respond to it in a certain way?  If he never set up the expectation of doing so, why are you creating it for him?

If he did set up the expectation, ask him why he is choosing to not follow through with it. 

This is where journals fail- try the direct communication route.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ineedadomforme)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 4:54:15 PM   
MsCameron


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Really? Well, then I guess I'm not part of the "most".

I asked my former submissive for a weekly journal on whatever was going on in his life. Thoughts, issues, problems and anything joyful he wanted to write about.

I looked forward to his journal every week and yes, I used it. Sometimes to my benefit, sometimes to his :)
There is a file with 4 and 1/2 years of journals along with his collar and other things that I will always treasure.

To the OP. Maybe he is reading it. What reaction are you looking for?

MC

_____________________________

I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going, going...
Lateralis.Tool

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 5:05:52 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		maybe he does not know how to analyze a persons thoughts.. i find that in a ton of Dom's

(in reply to MsCameron)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 5:35:21 PM   
rollinonward05


Posts: 78
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		I have found that Master does read my journals. Even the times I was certain he didn't. And he has effectively used what I have written as a learning tool for both of us.  And a training tool for him to use with me (many times without me realizing till after the fact that he had :)  ).Just because Master does not talk to me about everything I may write about does not mean it does not matter to him.Often the subjects are brought out later when something similar happens. Or he waits for me to go to him and bring up subjects that are confusing me, scare me or that I may want to experience with him. Then again there have been times if I have not brought them up with him he waits a bit and then brings them up himself for discussion . 

take care
rollin

< Message edited by rollinonward05 -- 9/12/2007 5:38:04 PM >

(in reply to ineedadomforme)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 5:43:49 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

what should one do? ask why, ignore it as well, keep bringing it up in journals....


You need to decide if you can do the journal purely as an act of submission.  This means not worrying about whether he does anything in response, as you are doing it as a required task and to show that you are able to submit in this way. 

Or you can journal for yourself, as a way of communicating to yourself, letting things out of your head, processing, expressing, etc.  I recently took up journaling again, after not doing it for many months.  Some of my on-line friends have a link to it and they sometimes comment, and sometimes not.  But I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ineedadomforme)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 7:31:04 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		There are three types of journaling that I do. One is for myself so I can keep a record to look back when I'm old and grey. The second, is stuff that I need to say and share with my Sir, and the third type is when I'm told to journal for a specific reason. The last two types of journaling are sent to my Sir and are always discussed face to face.

I don't understand why you are asking what you should do. Ask your dom and find out what the reason is for not giving you feedback from your journaling. If he doesn't care what you write then you shouldn't care either. If you are writing stuff that you want a response then tell him in advance and see if he is open to reading and discussing.

I know that I often journal first for the sole reason that it helps me articulate my thoughts before we sit down face to face. He even journals his thoughts and will often send them to me. It's a great tool for communication but like others have said, it in no way replaces actually speaking to one another.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: journal - 9/12/2007 8:11:02 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Master reads everything I write, and only responds to that which he feels needs responding to.  If he thinks my head is not in a good place, he will correct it.  If I am wrong in an assessment I have made, he will reply and correct it.  If he wants to give me more information about something, or answer a question I have asked, he will answer.  Sometimes he's really pleased with what I am thinking and will tell me.  Sometimes he is just monitoring me for awhile, without comment.

Most often, the journal is used to provide him with information about what is going on in my head and heart.  He is under no obligation to respond to it.  If he does, I love it.  If he doesn't, I am happy knowing he is aware of my current state. 

My journaling to him is conducted over email.  If I have a pressing question, I highlight it so that it does not slip through the radar.  I asked permission to do this after he missed a significant question that was buried in about 7 pages of script (I write a lot!).  If he doesn't answer, then he either believes it doesn't warrant an answer yet, or he forgot to answer it.  After a day or so, I will ask if he saw the question.  If he says yes, I drop it.  If he didn't see it, I will ask again and get my answer.

Do not think that just because your words are not commented on, that they are ignored.  In my case, that is not the case at all.


(in reply to ineedadomforme)
Profile   Post #: 10
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