When do you just say NEXT Dom

When do you just say NEXT Dom (Full Version)

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slave4hotgi -> When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/13/2007 11:33:27 PM)
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CrymsonSins -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 1:15:54 AM)
Hmm.This is a tricky subject. You should sit him down and ask him how important you are to him. Then tell him that he is in SERIOUS RISK of losing you if he doesn't take your needs into consideration. While, as a dom, he would take priority, at the end of the day, it's a RELATIONSHIP consisting of two people. Not one and a half. You have feelings, needs, and desires, that he should honor if he truly cares about you. And if doesn't, then he doesn't care about you as much as you care about him. And then you need to move on. which can be hard, but will ultimately be better for you. and, if he learns his lesson, it'll be good for him too.

RCdc -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 1:23:13 AM)
You're telling him?[8\|] Well, sound like me you aren't compatable - and from you're post it sounds as though you demand. Move on and find someone else you can 'tell' what you want. the.dark.

windykae -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 1:27:19 AM)
it is a hard question to answer because it depends on a lot of different things, is there a specific reason that He cannot or will not fulfill your need? but i know from personal experience that if it goes on too long even with a reason, resentment builds and you become dissatisfied with the entire relationship, at that point, it is probably better to end it then to continue or you will both be miserable. and as CrymsonSins pointed out you Must discuss it so that he is aware of the problem and how serious it is to you

laurell3 -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 4:16:31 AM)
Honestly, I don't think it's a matter of being demanding. Communication is so important in the relationship if you really feel you are with someone that is not listening to or addressing something you are trying to say repeatedly, this would be very concerning to me. A sub/slave literally places her health and well-being in the hands of another, if they don't hear what you are saying or won't listen, then that ability to place yourself there is seriously compromised.

Cyntilating -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 4:19:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slave4hotgi Ok here it is you have Dom you care about and your in a relationship R/T you keep telling him what you need from him and he just don not seem to hear you. It is as if your needs don't matter. How many times do you tell him before you just say NEXT! Do you keep telling him over and over hoping he will hear you or do you just say screw this I am out of here..... My needs matter too NEXT! Edit to add: Replys form submissives or slaves only please what is it you are talking about when you say "what I need from him" ?? and how & when & where are you expressing this to him? your question can be interpreted too many ways..can you be more specific?

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 5:19:07 AM)
if you're constantly telling him and he's not listening, then it seems you should leave the current relationship because there's no communication as far as i can tell between you two. stop hoping he'll hear you - he hasn't before so why are you expecting a miraculous change that he will?

jaxnsax -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 5:20:24 AM)
Greetings I would have to second what Darcyandthedark said jaxon

Drifa -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 6:07:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl if you're constantly telling him and he's not listening, then it seems you should leave the current relationship because there's no communication as far as i can tell between you two. stop hoping he'll hear you - he hasn't before so why are you expecting a miraculous change that he will? You'd be surprised at how many people drop hints and expect their partners to read their minds and then get mad when that doesn't work. My suggestion... ask for some discussion time in a neutral environment. Turn off all TVs, if there are kids, find a way for you two to go sit in a park alone or some such. Sit facing each other, close enough you can touch one another's knees. Make this agreement, and both of you must agree to it: You agree that you will listen carefully and not interrupt, and that you will work with the other until you both agree that you have heard what they said correctly. And you agree that when it is your turn to speak you will be patient and help yoru partner understand what you are saying. Both must agree that things may be said such as "I feel" "I hurt" but that no verbal darts will be thrown just to hurt the other person. Now, you have agreed and are sitting knee to knee. Carefully explain that you are unhappy. Explain why you are unhappy. And explain what EXACTLY you want your partner to do different. Stop after each short bit and ask your partner to tell you back what he thought he heard you say. If he isn't hearing exactly what you meant, go back over it until you both are on the same page. Go into the discussion expecting to have yoru partner make requests of you also, some of which may be tough. Listen fairly and compromise and negotiate. YOu want a situation in which you BOTH get at least part of what you want. Now, if you have had this type of careful discussion and you are still getting blown off, then I'd be breaking up and shopping for someone who has some nice Listening 101 skills. Listening 101 is MUCH more important than Domliness 101 to me.

Stephann -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 6:40:01 AM)
Frankly, having read the recent post by the OP, I'm inclined to believe that he's not the Dom of her Dreams in Shining Armor, and she's coping with the frustration of having to 'settle' for someone when she thinks there might be greener pastures. Which, naturally, she's welcome to pursue. Naturally, it's near impossible to find satisfaction with a man, when you don't really take the time to get to know him. Men make poor vanity mirrors. Stephan

littleone35 -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 7:37:21 AM)
Some (notice i said some not all) Dom's think their needs are the only ones that mater. To me thats bull everyone has needs. I think you should try talking to him once again if you have tried already. Tell him what you have told us that you may leave if he will not listen or even try. It is important for all in a relationship to be if not happy at least content. You may need to leave to find what you think you need but please do not make any rash decisons. Matt's littleone

Mercnbeth -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 7:48:16 AM)
if this slave embraced a sense of self that interpreted wants as needs, then she would be serving that self or searching for someone to serve that self instead of identifying as the "s" in either an M/s or D/s relationship.

breatheasone -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 8:03:25 AM)
There is nothing at all wrong with expressing your wants needs and desires....period. It DOES NOT make you less of a s type to do so. The bottom line is to find someone you are compatible with.

RCdc -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 8:26:54 AM)
Now Stephann - Didn't you listen to what the OP had to say? Didn;t you listening to her telling everyone she only wants submissives and slaves to respond >please<? /.endsarcasm. (sorry Stephann - couldn't resist[:D]) I don't think it has anything to do with communication (apart from it being bad) - and everything to do with .whataslavewants. Peace the.dark.

murmur -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 8:39:52 AM)
-FR- Communication is the key. If he doesnt listen ask him why. Confront him passively. And see what you plan to do with it.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 8:53:18 AM)
You've told him what you needed X number of times. How many times has he acknowledged that he hears and understands these needs? How many times has he said he would DO something to react to those needs? I can't tell you how long to wait, but I can say until you get those two added in, nothing will change.

CrymsonSins -> RE: When do you just say NEXT Dom (9/14/2007 5:25:43 PM)
Alright, I've heard an awful lot of people saying that this is selfish of a slave/sub. Thinking her wants don't matter, if she's having wants and he's not meeting them, then she's not a good sub. Okay. BULL!!! She WANTS to be a sub, c'os she feels the NEED to be on the serving/giving end of the relationship spectrum. This is what makes her HAPPY. But, if her Dom/Master isn't doing his part, then he's only thinking about himself. A Dom should care to some degree for his sub. If he doesn't, he doesn't deserve to call himself a Dom. That's just the way it is. In my book anyways. If he's not listening to you, and you're not happy, then what's the point of being with him? Girl, it's time to move on. ((but if you love him, and he loves you, maybe it's worth pushing through. At the end of the day, it's your choice, and NO ONE can make it for you)).

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