RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange"

RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (Full Version)

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jaxnsax -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 9:15:10 AM)
Greetings Daddysprop247 Wow, you have presented a side that I had never thought of in regards to relationships. I will be honest, I never once considered those who feel that they never had anything to transfer or exchange in the first place. I have to ask, if you don’t mind? Could you elaborate a bit more for me please? The part where you said that you chose to give yourself to him, not from a place of personal power; is something that I have never heard before. jaxon

jaxnsax -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 9:25:31 AM)
Greetings daddysprop247 One more question if you please? You said that you made the choice to give yourself to him. Would that not indicate a ‘transfer’? jaxon

daddysprop247 -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 9:40:10 AM)
hi jaxon...yes i made the choice to give myself to him, but i never had this power or control over self to begin with. i was not one of those strong, independent, take-no-guff types...i was weak in many ways, very vulnerable (and frequently abused and taken advantage of) due to my submissive personality, pretty familiar with the ugly side of people and of life but strangely naive in some ways as well. so no, i did not "transfer" power to my Master. He asked me if i would be his property, after being sure i knew exactly what that meant...and i said "yes", without ever having considered such a thing before that very moment. but i knew it was right, i knew he was the One who was meant to own me. basically, you could say i was lost....wandering, unclaimed, barely keeping my head above water...and then when he asked that question, it was like i was found, finally home. imagine you find a hurt, skittish, neglected or abused kitten on the street. there are a million and one kittens in the same situation all over the place, you pass them by all the time, but something about this particular one draws you in, and likewise she is drawn to you. she comes to you happily when you reach out to pet her. you take her in as yours, nurse her to health, she becomes a permanent part of the family. she gave herself to you willingly, but not from a place of power or control. you both simply just knew, that she was meant to be yours. ....probably a terribly analogy, but the best i could come up with on 3 hrs sleep! :)

jaxnsax -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 9:49:19 AM)
Greetings daddysprop247 Thank you . I understand a bit more now where you are coming from in regards to what you said. jaxon

Perplex -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 10:46:07 AM)
There are two metaphores I want to use to explain how what I've already said fits into the phrase "power exchange" One is the devil luring someone into beign "evil"...which can be a construct of authortiy to label its enemies....there is no good no evil only power...is the popular line, so the devil in this case leading the good victorian girls away from chasity into "disgrace" is gettign the joys of getting to wallow around in their disgrace...(nothing a devil likes better than a good disgrace-wallow :) and in exchange he is giving the "permission" (taking the blame) "the devil made me do it" to the woman to be wicked and putting himself out there to be the target by the original authority who said this is bad. * *the salem witches who were to blame for 3 little snot nosed girls with rye poisoning got set on fire cuz they got blamed cuz after all "we can't blame the victims of the witches"... when opposing corrupt (wrong headed) power the devil sacrifices his right to ever be good (within the sight of that authority) for the acts he commits to show others free will and living ones own life with freedom are not inherently evil. and that is what the dom gives to the sub charlie brown...he is there to take the brunt of any repucussion that may happen to the sub for acts she has committed at the dom's bequest. the other metaphore I want to use is with a puppy. Now the puppy (sub) has no idea chewing on the electrical chord is dangerous...it is beyond the puppy's understanding to figure out chord eventually leads to a big-ass turbine somewhere putting out enough voltage to make doggie-fricosee. The dom takes the time to teach the puppy that biting this chord is bad. I won't get into the tricks etc, but in the end the dog is a good member of the family (the #1 thing to all canidids) because of the training and time the dom gave to the puppy. and htat is what the dom gives to the sub charlie brown, he is there to teach and fuffill all of the subs wants and desires to finnaly find the place where she fits in and not live only half a life (the other life only in fantasy) ((pardon the use of the M/f dynamic only, it was done cuz I didn't have time to be PC not as a personal slap to anyone or impication that women can't be doms and men subs))

agirl -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 10:50:57 AM)
I also prefer the term authority transfer ( ref. LA) Until he took ownership of me, I had authority over myself. daddysprop,....I understand that you felt you had no power, or no control but surely you still had authority, whether you liked it or not? agirl

agirl -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:03:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jaxnsax Greetings Daddysprop247 Wow, you have presented a side that I had never thought of in regards to relationships. I will be honest, I never once considered those who feel that they never had anything to transfer or exchange in the first place. I have to ask, if you don’t mind? Could you elaborate a bit more for me please? The part where you said that you chose to give yourself to him, not from a place of personal power; is something that I have never heard before. jaxon While in my own circumstances, I don't think I exchanged anything, I DID have authority over myself. I had at the very least, the authority to choose being owned; belonging to him or remaining unowned; belonging to myself. agirl

jaxnsax -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:05:46 AM)
Greetings agirl I think that is what confused me about daddyprop's post, her saying that she had no choice and then saying that she chose to give herself. I understand what she said somewhat, but not completely yet J jaxon

Elegant -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:10:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jaxnsax Greetings agirl I think that is what confused me about daddyprop's post, her saying that she had no choice and then saying that she chose to give herself. I understand what she said somewhat, but not completely yet J jaxon *winks at jaxnsax*

agirl -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:15:00 AM)
Hello jaxnsax, From where I'm standing....no matter how weak, how abused , neglected or fucked-over you are; if you chose to be owned, you had the authority to make that choice. It may very well be the last decision you make in that way, but the authority was there to make it. agirl

UR2Badored -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:24:40 AM)
It is hard for me to fully understand anyone in a relationship with no "choice" without being fullfilled in some way (therefore consensual). No choice can being interpreted as being forced or nonconsensual. I would suspect if someone is not being fullfilled, excluding growing apart or gaining personal growth through time and experiences, that eventually resentment or separation (if only emotional) if would occur. I cannot speak for Daddy'sprop or presume to understand her statements, but to me, as an observer, she seems very fullfilled with her Daddy. It is admirable that she truly adores her Daddy so much but it seems like he is the right fit for her and the relationship is consensual and not forced. Therefore, secure in her initial choice to fully surrender...Am I way off Daddy'sprop? I recently am fond of the phrase consensual and sensual reciprocal relationship with a heirarchy dynamic or reciprocal needs fullfilled through a mutually agreed heirarchy dynamic. For me, the phrase "no limits" is a hyperbole, but only because I take things too literally and to the extreme. (Think Hannibal Lecter)

mistyann1978 -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:29:58 AM)
My lover and I are still working out the details of this part of our relationship. When he first "suggested" introducing a D/s aspect to our relationship, I really didn't know much about it and when I asked him what exactly it would entail, he explained it this way, so I guess my opinion, at least in our situation, is that it IS a power exchange: "It starts as a frame of mind and evolves into something larger emotionally and physically/mentally. It’s a giving of the ultimate gift. ALL of you to Me. Not just a relationship, but a commitment to each other. I take what you give and I use it to love, protect, nurture and yes even in some ways own you. Control that is actually rigid to a standard agreed upon by both of U/us and only taken as far as you are comfortable with."

ownedgirlie -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:39:38 AM)
~ FR ~ I've enjoyed the dialogue that daddysprop and agirl have offered here. I especially liked the kitten analogy, as it reminded me of the way my Master found me and was touching to me. Like prop, M/s works for me. Master and I don't get hung up on terms like authority and power and dynamic and exchange and transfer, etc.. We are what we are. He owns me, his power, control, authority and will are over me. I once asked him, in the early days of submitting to him, what's being exchanged. He said I gave him power and authority over me, and in exchange he manages me, guides me, directs me, enjoys me, uses me, etc. I needed a Master like this in my life, and I grow and thrive under his leadership. The last time someone asked me if I was in a Power Exchange relationship, I said, "Um....sure, I guess." I really just don't think about it. I would answer the same if any of the other terms were posed to me. I'm his slave. He is my Master. Everything pretty much falls into place from there.

Prinsexx -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:51:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann I don't feel comfortable dominating a woman if I don't feel I have anything to offer her intellectually for example. Stephan

Prinsexx -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 11:53:48 AM)
Sorry to single you out above Stephan...I just think you are being so honest there thats what I meant to add to the quote but I messed up on the html. Prinsexx

thetammyjo -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 12:00:36 PM)
I think for most folks the exchange is that the sub releases some authority and therefore some responsibility that the dom takes up. I don't personally use the word exchange because I think we are both equally vested in our authority dynamic. Plus since it is full time, every day of every week, it's just there we no longer think of what we are giving or receiving because it is merely how our relationship works.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 12:00:46 PM)
I like the term "power transfer" better than the term exchange but I see little difference. In exchange for her submission, she gets my dominance. She transfers authority over whatever aspects of her life that she agrees with to me and I accept authority, along with responsibility, over those aspects that I agree to accept the transfer of and I in turn give her guidance and direction, I free her of constraints holding her down that are not of my doing, etc. There is much transfer and exchange going on but some of it is very subtle and ill-defined and it varies from one relationship to the next as does the expression of it. I too view it as reciprocal and definitely as a hierarchal concept.

UR2Badored -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 12:02:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I too view it as reciprocal and definitely as a hierarchal concept. With the exception of the couch? hehe

Prinsexx -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 12:08:40 PM)
Power dynamic, power exchange, authority exchange.....these terms are modtly, if I catch the drift of the thread being used about the dynamics WITHIN the relationship. But there is naother aspect to this which is to do with what creates a dominant or creates a submissive, how a dominant evoleves and how a submissive evolves. I like to use the term libido to cover a broad life energy...which covers both energy used and exchanged in intimacy/sexuality and also energy dynamics outside of that in the work place, family for example. I have been a mother for over25 years and my libido has evolved within the context of neing a mother, and a powerful intyellectual and an alpha female in the work place. Thus for me ny submission is a welcome relief from the demands and pressures of my non intimate life. How many responsible, caring, innovative, strict and very stren dominants here ebable their submissives to go out into the world and happily feel power out there based upon their submission in a scene. How many powerful men out there, who are unable to delegate in the workplace, are captains of inductry, judges, military officers, bastions of the establishment love top relinquish that pressure at the feet (literaly) of their Mistresses? The power dynamic exists in their inter-action with the outside world as well as their intra-action with their bdsm partners. Although this is not the place for me to pontificate as a professional ths is a model (simplistic though it is) that I use to 'fix' dying relationships in the vanilla world. It's as if power or libido splits itself into two like this. It's ok to be a high flyer and need to be whipped into submission in the bed room. I's ok to be a stay at home parent, derailed and nagged by kids everyday but be the one who controls every movement of a scene. There are so many variations of this Prinsexx

CreativeDominant -> RE: Using the phrase "authority or power exchange" (9/14/2007 12:14:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UR2Badored quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant I too view it as reciprocal and definitely as a hierarchal concept. With the exception of the couch? hehe That's where "Higher"-archy comes in...~grins~

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