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NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 9:55:26 AM   
slave4hotgi


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OK Here is the situation you have realy dear friend you are trying to help in a bad situation and you post something to the message boards that upsets them. Next thing you know they delete there account and won't call you back.

You posted with only good intention because you really care about this person and want to show them you would not be the only one in the lifestyle to give them the advice you are giving them, but you did not ask them first. They feel you had no regard for there feelings. You know you where wrong for not asking first but remember you where only trying to help.

You where able to remove the post and you ahve said you are sorry.

Have you done all you can do or is there more?

If there is more What is the best way to show them you are sorry you did this?

Any Ideas?

< Message edited by slave4hotgi -- 9/14/2007 10:37:43 AM >
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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 10:21:32 AM   
KatyLied


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trifecta

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 10:23:32 AM   
onegoodgirl


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I like the previous post about killing his rival.

Don't forget to leave the head on his doorstop as a sign of your unyielding passion to preserve his emotional well-being.

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 10:29:33 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4hotgi

What is the best way to show them you are sorry you did this?



Sometimes you don't get to say sorry. Sometimes you just fucked up. You realize you fucked up and you don't do it again to someone else.

You tried to call them, they don't want to talk to you. If they change their mind, they will let you know.

_____________________________

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 10:40:37 AM   
domiguy


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You do possess a jammin' body...Have you tried emailing any tit or gash shots?  If you give me his name and address I will make sure they reach him...Since he will probably instantly shred any correspondence coming directly from you. 

Help me ....Help you.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 9/14/2007 10:44:02 AM >


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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 11:09:04 AM   
twistedkytten


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I agree with Aquatic on this one.. sometimes you make things worse by pushing the situation..

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 11:15:43 AM   
toservez


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All you can do is say or do something that truly communicates you were sorry. Anything too lazy or done with what is the big deal will come off as insincere and anything too drastic or pressured will come off it is all about you and your feelings only.

All you can do is apologize in your own way which sounds like you have tried already.

The person on the receiving end will do what they will do and you need to realize it is out of your hands. Whether the person is a jerk, truly hurt beyond being able to accept your apology or just needs time is not up to you.

You apparently have accepted you are in the wrong now you have to accept the consequence and try not to make it about your own feelings put onto others to relieve. No one is perfect and we all screw up, most of the time there is something to learn and sometimes part of the lesson comes with a loss friend whether the action was justified or over reacted to.



< Message edited by toservez -- 9/14/2007 11:16:07 AM >


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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 11:24:18 AM   
slave4hotgi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

All you can do is say or do something that truly communicates you were sorry. Anything too lazy or done with what is the big deal will come off as insincere and anything too drastic or pressured will come off it is all about you and your feelings only.

All you can do is apologize in your own way which sounds like you have tried already.

The person on the receiving end will do what they will do and you need to realize it is out of your hands. Whether the person is a jerk, truly hurt beyond being able to accept your apology or just needs time is not up to you.

You apparently have accepted you are in the wrong now you have to accept the consequence and try not to make it about your own feelings put onto others to relieve. No one is perfect and we all screw up, most of the time there is something to learn and sometimes part of the lesson comes with a loss friend whether the action was justified or over reacted to.




I think you are correct and I do know this is not about me it is about their feelings and the hurt I caused them. Your advice is good, I have said what I needed to say and now will wait for them to call.

I will say it is hard when you really care for someone "I am Sorry" just never seems like enough.

If our  friendship is what I feel it is they will call. If not then I will live with the fallout.

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 12:50:59 PM   
Aileen68


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I tend to think that the way back into good graces is to NOT start a whole new thread on the matter.  Accept the loss and walk away.  This certainly won't help.

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 1:06:54 PM   
littleone35


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You said you were sorry they chose not to accept it at this time.Maybe he just needs some time to cool off.  So i say give it a little time.

Matt's littleone

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 1:17:01 PM   
Stephann


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From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4hotgi

What is the best way to show them you are sorry you did this?



Sometimes you don't get to say sorry. Sometimes you just fucked up. You realize you fucked up and you don't do it again to someone else.

You tried to call them, they don't want to talk to you. If they change their mind, they will let you know.


And sometimes when you fuck up, you don't get a second chance to do it again.

Hurt me once, shame on you.  Hurt me twice, shame on me.

Frankly, if "I'm sorry" isn't enough, then it's not enough.  Nobody owes me their friendship, and I'm unlikely to ever owe anyone mine.  If it can't be shared openly and honestly, it shouldn't be.

Stephan

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 1:27:56 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

And sometimes when you fuck up, you don't get a second chance to do it again.

Hurt me once, shame on you.  Hurt me twice, shame on me.

Frankly, if "I'm sorry" isn't enough, then it's not enough.  Nobody owes me their friendship, and I'm unlikely to ever owe anyone mine.  If it can't be shared openly and honestly, it shouldn't be.

Stephan

 
My point exactly. Just don't repeat the same mistake with someone else.
 
I can forgive a lot of things. But there are some things, regardless of how trival they may be to others, where you just don't get a second chance.
 
I stutter. A sales rep makes fun of it, I tell their manager why I won't shop there anymore. I've done it before and I don't accept an apology. My family won't leave tips for waitresses who giggle when my Father and I try to place our orders. When my Father was in the Army, a superior officer urged him to accept the apology of a woman who had laughed at his stutter. My Father just said "Sorry, sir. Some things you don't get a second chance at."

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 1:48:11 PM   
MyVelvetAngel


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

You said you were sorry they chose not to accept it at this time.Maybe he just needs some time to cool off.  So i say give it a little time.

Matt's littleone


I agree with littleone, Time and Space heals all wounds....

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/14/2007 5:28:08 PM   
CrymsonSins


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I find that when all else fails...
cookies help.
Make it REALLY CUTE.
Like bunny-shaped
with LOTS OF RIBBON!!!

anyone who can't smile at that
has no heart.


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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/15/2007 3:05:15 AM   
Babybass


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I agree with previous posts - sometimes sorry just isn't enough. You said sorry - they heard you and they may need time to get over the hurt you caused them! If the friendship means enough to them they might come back to you in time.

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/15/2007 6:37:10 AM   
eyesopened


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i agree with the others that sometimes it simply becomes a learning experience for you and you need to move on.   What i am having trouble with is... although this post is about you, it's also about the person who was offended by something you posted on the board and now you are repeating it by posting on the board... when the person in question may not have deleted the account and could be viewing under a different name or a deactivated profile. 

The lesson is this... the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  In the future ASK permission to help.  When offering assistance, specify how you are able to assist.  If i told someone my cat is very sick, of course i would be more than just a little upset if my friend then decided to shoot my cat in an effort to "help" me.

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/15/2007 7:39:54 AM   
RRafe


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You broke trust with that person.

It's up to them to forgive you-or not.

My advice? Make decisions for yourself-not for others.

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/16/2007 5:59:03 AM   
sweetsub42


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I agree with most of the posters...you have apologised and sometimes our well intentions cause us to screw up.  We are human.

The one thing I don't get from your post (and that COULD be an issue with your friend) is that you are "SORRY WITH A DISCLAIMER".
I'm sorry BUT....i was acting in what i thought was your best interest.
When you say I'm sorry BUT...everything after the BUT is what gets the attention.

IF you talk to your friend again...try, I'm sorry I screwed up.  Take FULL responsibility.  Right now your intentions probably don't matter, all that matters is they are hurt by your actions. 

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/16/2007 9:39:29 AM   
NefertariReborn


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And by the time hre's finished "thinking" and pouting, and decides to forgive you,  you probably won't care one way or the other. 

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RE: NEXT Up How Would You Say Your Sorry If - 9/16/2007 10:04:41 AM   
slave4hotgi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub42

I agree with most of the posters...you have apologised and sometimes our well intentions cause us to screw up.  We are human.

The one thing I don't get from your post (and that COULD be an issue with your friend) is that you are "SORRY WITH A DISCLAIMER".
I'm sorry BUT....i was acting in what i thought was your best interest.
When you say I'm sorry BUT...everything after the BUT is what gets the attention.

IF you talk to your friend again...try, I'm sorry I screwed up.  Take FULL responsibility.  Right now your intentions probably don't matter, all that matters is they are hurt by your actions. 


I want to thank everyone for there replys. My friend and I have healed the wound so to speak and things are fine. To sweetsub42 thank you as well the statement was not meant as a disclaimer as I did in fact screw up.  But I can see how it may have been taken that way.

Again thinks to everyone for your input it helped and things are great now. So no need for any more post here.

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
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