RE: Lying to a master (Full Version)

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SirDraco7 -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 7:35:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekittycat

Good evening.  I am new to this whole scene and  I just wanted to know if there is a way to get back a master that has dismissed you?  I did not know going into this lifesytle that truth was very important.  Well as a new I messed up and lied to the master I was with.  He dismissed me and I would give anything to have another chance with him.  does anyone have any suggestions?


You Messed up.  Learn from it and move on.
If he takes you back or not is up to him, there is really nothing you could do about it.

Personally, If I were he, I would not.  Lying and trust is big with me, as it is with many many people and if you lied once who says you wouldn't lie again?  
Accept the loss and understand the hurt lying can cause you.  As I've always said:

The most hurtful truth, is much better than the simplest of lies

Just my thoughts...




SirCache -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 7:39:58 AM)

Just like any other relationship--depending on what the lie was over, the relationship could in fact be over.  If you really feel devastated over this and want him back, you'll have to go and make serious ammends.  And it's not a guarantee.

Also, you may need to put yourself into the frame of mind that it is over, and that all you can do now is mourn the loss of the relationship--hopefully never to make the same mistake again.



SirDraco7 -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 7:43:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirEbonyPhoenix

As I am reading this topic, I have a personal philoosphy about lying which can be summed up in this familar adage:"Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you."


::chuckles::  I thought the saying was "Fool me once, shame on...  shame on you.  Fool me you can't get fooled again"

Then again, any further comments here is an entirely different conversation.  lol

I have a link to the video should anyone desire to see the new "improved" quote.  ;)

Personally I like the origional better, and as I said in my post, I agree.  Lying is the ultimate No-No, and sometimes something you can never take back.



iammachine -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 8:58:37 AM)

quote:

I just wanted to know if there is a way to get back a master that has dismissed you? I did not know going into this lifesytle that truth was very important.


Seriously, when is truth not important? I can't think of any situation where truth, overall, isn't pretty damn important.

Sure, there are cases where fibs are not fatal, but overall, not a good idea. Fibbing a little to, say, hide a surprise birthday party is relatively harmless. Pretty much anything else, in my book, is pretty bad ju ju because I can see no situation where the outcome of being dishonest can be good.

Anyway, I have nothing to say that lots of people haven't said already. Own up. Try to make amends. There's no certainty that he will want anything to do with you, and rightly so. Dishonesty is a major bad. If he does forgive you, you're very lucky, and hopefully you will learn from this experience. If he doesn't forgive you, well, that's the price you pay for poor decisions, and hopefully you will learn from this experience.



mmb1 -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 9:36:06 AM)

I am still waiting for the OP to respond to what the lie was, sorry, am just curious, and we asked before.



angelic -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 9:36:27 AM)

Honestly, i do not think you are ready for any sort of relationship until you can figure out why you think lying to your SO is ok.

Personally, i do not think he should give you a second chance... i mean c'mon.  You come to a forum asking for help to get a Master back that you lied to?  You honestly thought this was ok?  This isn't Rocket Science here.  Who else do you lie to?  Your boss, your kids (if you have them?).  Figure out why you lie and fix that before getting involved with someone.




mmb1 -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 9:38:49 AM)

I haven't seen her respond once, but I agree with you, but I am just still wondering to the extent of what it was......................did she lie about spending more money on a pair of shoes than she told him, or what?  Makes a difference here.



angelic -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 9:44:12 AM)

mmb1, i agree it might make a bit of a difference.  And if it was something like the purchase of shoes and the Master dismissed her for that, it still sounds like a trainwreck of a relationship.  Unless of course she purchased shoes with the rent money or food money, etc.  i agree it would be good to have the OP come back and address these questions there is much we do not know.   



AquaticSub -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 9:45:32 AM)

quote:

does anyone have any suggestions?


Just the standard "I fucked up really badly, please take me back" stuff that applies to any relationship that was destroyed by lack of honesty, regardless of it was vanilla or BDSM. When that is rejected, as it usually is, don't be that ex. You know, the crazy one who calls "just to see how they are" every other day. Learn from the experience and move on.



mmb1 -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 9:50:37 AM)

well we will wait and see................lol if she comes back.



velvetears -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 12:00:58 PM)

If your lie was a whopper then you have to probably just accept his dismissal and learn a lesson.  If the lie was trivial than accept the fact that he was looking for an excuse to dismiss you and you are better off without him. You can always beg forgiveness and to be his again but with that comes the risk that you will be rejected.  Good luck.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 3:15:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekittycat

Good evening.  I am new to this whole scene and  I just wanted to know if there is a way to get back a master that has dismissed you?  I did not know going into this lifesytle that truth was very important.  Well as a new I messed up and lied to the master I was with.  He dismissed me and I would give anything to have another chance with him.  does anyone have any suggestions?
what scene?..male /female relationships?..Personally I think you are lying again..I think you did know that truthfulness was important..you just simply got caught in one and this is your best defense...ignorance...or even worse you are lying to yourself..either way..I would not take you back,because if you cannot even admit that you are a liar and change that, not only to those about you, but even to yourself ,then you have some issues other than losing your Master to deal with first..Tempting



windchymes -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 4:14:26 PM)

I'm distrurbed by the thought that the OP thought that lying was ok in any kind of relationship. 



mmb1 -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 4:17:41 PM)

lol, well I can't give an opinion without the OP lol.



natureschild -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 6:01:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekittycat

Well as a new I messed up and lied to the master I was with.  He dismissed me and I would give anything to have another chance with him. 


How BIG was the lie? I mean, no lie is a good lie, but was it more on the "little white lie" side of things? If that was the case, maybe it was bit of an over reaction, or he's just strick/picky.

If it was just a flat out "foot-in-mouth" lie....then...no sympathy.

You might also take into account, if you lied to him once, he might figure your going to lie to him again. So rather then take chances of you keeping to your word, he just dismissed you.



RRafe -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 7:53:15 PM)

This is almost looking like a jessica powers thread.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Lying to a master (9/15/2007 9:21:21 PM)

ok you got ripped a new butt hole for lying.....so i wont go there...

how to get him back....well sans peeing in your wedding dress ...(the secratary) ...i would recomend sending his am essay on what you word means to you, and what honesty means to you and how you have learned from this experiance.

i would also court him, flowers, poems the whole nine doms love that.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Lying to a master (9/17/2007 6:16:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekittycat

I did not know going into this lifesytle that truth was very important. 


Truth is important in any relationship, vanilla, D/s or whatever. My suggestion is your learn to be honest with yourself and others. I personally wouldn't want anyone back that kept lying to me. That is a trust factor to me. Once you learn to be honest you can have healthy, meaningful relationships.



Sexynmentalinkc -> RE: Lying to a master (9/24/2007 10:44:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekittycat

Good evening.  I am new to this whole scene and  I just wanted to know if there is a way to get back a master that has dismissed you?  I did not know going into this lifesytle that truth was very important.  Well as a new I messed up and lied to the master I was with.  He dismissed me and I would give anything to have another chance with him.  does anyone have any suggestions?



Move on, learn your lesson and start learning to expect that 110% honesty is required for any lifestyle or healthy relationship.

If you didn't know this coming into BDSM, you may not be really ready for it.

It's 10x's more important here than it is in other relationships but is a requirement.


As for getting him back, so to speak, give up - move on, learn your lesson and use the experience to ensure that you don't make such a fundamental mistake in the future.


*boggles but tips his hat*

- Mr. S



VaWolf -> RE: Lying to a master (9/24/2007 12:22:49 PM)

Ok I could tell you about how important truth is in any lifestyle especially this one, but it seems everyone else already has and I dont see the point in beating a dead horse (my appologies to pony play lovers).

I would show him what you have wrote here. I would appologize perfusely. I would beg him for forgiveness. And I would offer myself to any punishment or service he deemed appropriate to make up for your mistake. And I would most definately make sure not to repeat the mistake.



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