RE: how to NOT find a Mistress

RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (Full Version)

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MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 6:10:49 AM)
Hmm what else.... Spend years and years online pining away to be found by the perfect Domme, and whining loudly about how no one is "real" because they haven't chased after you. Meanwhile DON'T make efforts to go to munches or the like because after all why would you want to meet real people when Mistress Perfect is obviously online waiting for you?

LaMistressa -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 7:44:41 AM)
I've nearly spit my cappuccino on my keyboard reading these -- too funny and too true! My addition (in the "timing is everything" category) would be to write a Domme with a "Hey Mistress U R hott, can i srv U?" message when she has "I am only talking to friends right now as I have had a death in the family" as her profile. Reading is fundamental! [;)]

iammachine -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 8:22:35 AM)
quote: Reading is fundamental! Reading comprehension is an entirely all too rare commodity.

joyinslavery -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 11:52:33 AM)
Zzzzzzzzzzz... Zzzzzzzzzzz...

softpjOS -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 12:43:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 So to recap : Hi Sweetie, i hope U don`t mind me writing again and again, pwease be my Mistress and i, ops we, can start having some fun. It`s not fair that U dont reply to me or even live local, what up with U all living in other places...Please find attached 12 pages of things i, ops we, could possibly do. Finally i have three questions for U... Urs politesub P.S...... The car wash is first on the right.... Smirks a tad and hits send all ( Sits and waits for the inbox to fill ) [8D] OMG! wipes coffee from monitor And three questions for you.... 1. how much do you make? 2. do you do windows? 3. can you send a cock shot? Oh wait.. i'm not a Dommes...dang! [&:] makes mental note to NOT be drinking anything when reading a response from Politesub [:D]

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 12:46:27 PM)
Here are a few other pointers on how NOT to find a Mistress: Tell her that her profile is fascinating. However, be sure NOT to read the entire profile so that you don't show up on her "Who's Viewed Me" list. That will leave her wondering why you find her profile so fascinating when you haven't even read the whole thing (and will often prompt her to hit the delete key). Also, be sure to tell her what a lovely photo she has, but make sure to choose a Domme who does NOT display a photo on her profile. That's bound to make an impression (but not a good one, LOL). Most impressive of all, address your letter of introduction to one Domme, but send it to a completely different one (yes, that has happened, LOL). Another non-winning strategy: If you are a male submissive, focus only on the Dommes who state that they are seeking a FEMALE ONLY submissive. Send them a long letter trying to convince them that you are the perfect submissive for them anyway. Lady Topaz

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 2:32:24 PM)
One more idea that has actually happened: Send a wonderful, heartfelt message, putting your all into it so she will be really impressed. After you have sent this message, be sure to delete your account so she will not be able to get back with you. Guaranteed way to NOT find a Mistress. Lady Topaz

joyinslavery -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 2:43:16 PM)
Are they serving Kool-Aid and cookies with sleepy-time? I'm about to knock off.

MadameMarque -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 6:16:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz (Clip) Another non-winning strategy: If you are a male submissive, focus only on the Dommes who state that they are seeking a FEMALE ONLY submissive. Send them a long letter trying to convince them that you are the perfect submissive for them anyway. Lady Topaz This brings another point to mind… Males, be sure to tell female dominants that you are so-o-o-o in touch with women, that you are an honorary Lesbian. Women love that. P.S. - I'm still dyin' over, "Ask her bra size and weight." Thanks for that.

SweetDommes -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 6:39:18 PM)
Oooh ... I got one today ... Send out a one-liner "I don't do rules" ... lmao

pixelslave -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 9:04:16 PM)
How about asking if she'd like me to move in and teach her to be "my ideal Mistress who does x, y & z to me each night" (except of course when I'm out bowling or drinking with the boys) so I'll know how best to serve her needs and desires in the way she deserves whenever I'm at home? [;)] I'm confident all of the ladies reading this would love to learn how to be any sub's posterboard Domme! [sm=lol.gif] - pixel Collared to Majik

laurell3 -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 9:19:30 PM)
Send her a message telling her that you are an expert in the one activity she lists in her profile as being a hard limit and something that she does not at all enjoy. When she messages you back pointing this out, tell her you are better at it than anyone else and can change her mind. or this one (actually happened) tell her in your opening line that you have a very very small member and are horrible at sex and need her to teach you how to be better...that's SURE to get her!

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 9:32:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 Send her a message telling her that you are an expert in the one activity she lists in her profile as being a hard limit and something that she does not at all enjoy. When she messages you back pointing this out, tell her you are better at it than anyone else and can change her mind. A variation of this is in my mailbox is: Have as your "live for" desires/kinks those things that are listed as her "Hate" or "Hard Limits", than insist on the fact that she will learn to enjoy these things in time with you... And please obsess about all of those things she hates as the only topic of conversation you have anything to say about. M

iammachine -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 9:33:36 PM)
quote: Tell her that her profile is fascinating. However, be sure NOT to read the entire profile so that you don't show up on her "Who's Viewed Me" list. Ohhhh, that's a good one! I wish there was a filter to weed out peole that don't show up on your "Who's Viewing Me" list. That would save me a ton of time!

iammachine -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 9:35:38 PM)
quote: tell her in your opening line that you have a very very small member and are horrible at sex and need her to teach you how to be better...that's SURE to get her! Ahh, the pity card. Yeah, move along lil doggy.

crouchingtigress -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 9:42:04 PM)
send a cock pic with a flacid cock.....sheesh[8\|]

pixelslave -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 9:48:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress send a cock pic with a flacid cock.....sheesh[8\|] Awww, come on, not even one that had about 35 clothespins attached to it?? Surely you could understand it being flaccid and turning purple? [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image] - pixel Collared to Majik

iammachine -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/15/2007 10:14:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pixelslave quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress send a cock pic with a flacid cock.....sheesh[8\|] Awww, come on, not even one that had about 35 clothespins attached to it?? Surely you could understand it being flaccid and turning purple? [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image] - pixel Collared to Majik Best thing to do with a flacid winky: parachute cord + wrap around wet noodle = spinny like helicopter. Well, I get a kick out of it, anyway.

Laura -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/16/2007 12:20:03 AM)
Tell her you're desperate. Go on to say you'd like hard core kink/ fetishes and expect her to dress in tight leather and shoes which levitate her at least a foot off the floor. Ask her if she can pack up all her toys and gear and bring them to you. Tell her you'd like fries with that too. Don't read her profile which says she doesn't want to hear from anyone. Don't be concerned with the fact that she has only clicked on one or two mild fetishes in her profile. Don't bother to think twice about the air fare between Ontario, Canada and Florida, USA. No doubt she makes buckets of money from all those subs she fucks on a regular basis and she can afford the trip and cart all that stuff down there, no problem. When she doesn't reply. Send her a psycho email the very next day.

BeachMystress -> RE: how to NOT find a Mistress (9/16/2007 5:47:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pixelslave Awww, come on, not even one that had about 35 clothespins attached to it?? Surely you could understand it being flaccid and turning purple? Nope, not even then.. I have too much experience with too many subs and KNOW it can stay hard when having a mere 35 clothespins on it. (I've had them stay hard for 83 clothespins - my record. There is a photo of it, fourth row down on http://www.femdommesociety.com/profile.php?member_id=6062&mode=photo )

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