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How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 2:49:49 AM

InkedMaster

Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Rinse off.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed

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Post #: 1

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 3:48:39 AM

Twice

Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline

Is it sad I shower like a man...?

_____________________________

-K

(in reply to InkedMaster)

Post #: 2

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 3:51:20 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Dunno if it is sad, but I do also so you're in good company...

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(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 3

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 3:51:55 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

haha, good one!

I like cold showers. Even in winter.

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 4

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 3:58:38 AM

Twice

Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline

I worked on an archaeological dig this past summer for 2 months. It was 100 degrees and we were outside every day from 7am until it got too dark to work. Then we went inside and cleaned and sorted what we dug up. We were lucky enough to have a lodge to sleep in, but with no a/c.

Moral of the story? I LIVED by the cold shower. I wouldn't have SURVIVED otherwise. The only way to sleep was to take an ice cold shower and head to bed before your body warmed back up again....

_____________________________

-K

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Post #: 5

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 10:45:58 AM

Alyoop

Posts: 138
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline

hehe too true!

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Alyoop

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(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 6

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 3:01:54 PM

PhilaMale1958

Posts: 49
Joined: 5/26/2006
Status: offline

OH MY GOD, LMFAO!

(in reply to Alyoop)

Post #: 7

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/15/2007 9:55:47 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

{giggles}

I still can't get through that without having tears.

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Post #: 8

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/16/2007 10:44:28 PM

ClosetSinner

Posts: 77
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline

I saw that joke before...here.

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

Post #: 9

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/16/2007 10:51:38 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

Is it sad I shower like a man...?

You mean you shake your weenier at your wife and make the woo hoo noise?

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 10

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/16/2007 11:01:44 PM

Twice

Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

Is it sad I shower like a man...?

You mean you shake your weenier at your wife and make the woo hoo noise?

Comprable body parts at my boyfriend/Dom, indeed, I do.

_____________________________

-K

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 11

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/16/2007 11:15:40 PM

HotFaerieMama

Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

LMAO this is too funnie..

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 12

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/17/2007 11:32:57 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

Is it sad I shower like a man...?

You mean you shake your weenier at your wife and make the woo hoo noise?

Comprable body parts at my boyfriend/Dom, indeed, I do.

RIGHT-ON!!...

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 13

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/18/2007 9:51:29 AM

HypnoticDan

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

Save water. Shower with a friend.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 14

RE: How to take a shower. - 9/19/2007 8:23:15 AM

MsLilac

Posts: 151
Joined: 5/31/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

Is it sad I shower like a man...?

You mean you shake your weenier at your wife and make the woo hoo noise?

Comprable body parts at my boyfriend/Dom, indeed, I do.

I am glad I am not the only one who shakes my comparable female body parts to and from the shower to the poor souls I live with! Complete with the "woo woo" noises and everything! HAHA

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Post #: 15

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