Kelika
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Cincinnati
Status: offline
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Hello,
Some others have touched on the way I feel, that D/s which is some form of Dominance and submission (which to me includes a M/s relationship) is part of BDSM. There are plenty out there that don't use Sadistic or masochistic things in their relationship. Personally, I know a few Daddy Dom relationships that are just D/s part...but that includes the "d" for the discipline that was mentioned earlier.
From the sounds of it, you are a lot like me in the fact that you feel that the relationship you would choose to be in, there wouldn't be a struggle for the power. If you trust him, feel secure with him, you will do all that you can do to be obedient, so the thought of discipline in your relationship is kind of on the back burner. You aren't someone that might "act out intentionally" to test those methods of discipline.
That's all well and good and a M/s dynamic is probably what I hope to have someday (as long as he puts the effort into enslaving me and doesn't expect me to just become slave), but eventually and possibly in the beginning when you might struggle with reactance to enslavement, you will come across times when he orders you to do something you don't like.
It's easy to obey when they want us to do something we want to do, or really think it's not difficult. When he say orders you to no longer spend time on collarme or limits your computer time which in turn means you start to have a difficult time communicating with your friends that might be something that makes you show reactance. Perhaps it is when he gives you an assignment to keep a food journal and wants to know everything you put in your body, or maybe your normal routine included you drinking coffee in the morning and he says no more.
Whatever the case, there will be something that happens that he orders you to do that you won't like...it WILL happen...lol. How he chooses to handle it might be something simple like just telling you it is unacceptable but say he makes you stand in the corner, or kneel on rice, or write a thousand time "I will do as I'm told, when I'm told and how". Perhaps he makes you sleep in a cage for a week instead of his bed...whatever the case, that is the discipline and punishment aspects. If those things fail, or you have a severe amount of reactance, he might very well use a belt on you or a cane.
I personally believe that you, deep down inside from what you say, will welcome the fact that he cares enough about the dynamic you two have chosen to show he will not let you get away things. That he will, indeed, keep you in the chains of your slavery at whatever costs; after all, you are looking for someone -to- enslave you it sounds.
There is a slave I know and she says this. "Do you obey, even in fury and tears" (allyC). And honestly, your friends probably are thinking of these aspects of it, the D/s and "d" part of it. I don't think personally you can have an M/s relationship with those parts.
Well wishes,
Kelika
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I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~ Anais Nin
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RE: Another question if you please... - 
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