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MasterShibari -> RE: my slave will punished (9/15/2007 6:35:30 PM)
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First off, I doubt very many people will bother to read this mini essay, so here goes.
I know when someone says something as monumentally stupid and irrelevant as the starter for this thread, everyone’s first instinct is to tear them apart like a hungry pack of wolves around a wounded deer.
But, is that the atmosphere we all really want to have on this site, and in the lifestyle in general? A place where every amateur or beginner must constantly watch himself or herself to make sure they don’t say anything stupid. A place where, rather than nurturing, tutoring, and correcting the clueless, we mock and humiliate them.
We all had to learn somewhere, somehow. At one point, each and every one of us was a beginner. Most of us had to learn the hard way, and for some of us it was very hard indeed. But imagine how much easier it would have been to become a skilled Dom/me or healthy sub if there had been a massive online community filled with helpful people when you were learning.
And to all the experienced Dom/mes, subs, slaves, switches, Tops, bottoms, Masters, and slaves reading this: Imagine how awesome it would be if all these clueless wannabes, all these ignorant and sometimes dangerous newbies, could quickly be trained in how things really work. Imagine how much the market of partners, the community, would expand and grow. Imagine how many new and interesting people could be made a part of the scene.
Yes, what he said was pointless and dumb, and yes, his solution to her leaving is obviously the sign of a terribly flawed and unhealthy BDSM relationship. But rather than mock him, I think we should try and explain not only why what he said was foolish, but also some things he could do to help.
I’m not an idealist, and I’m not saying “wouldn’t it be great if we all stopped hating and started hugging” or any stupid BS like that, but this site seems to be set up as a place to meet others, and a place to learn. A place filled with thousands of helpful and considerate people.
Though it may not seem like it, I am not criticizing anyone who has posted on this thread. My first instinct was to mock this wannabe as well. But instead, I think I’m going to steal from laurell3 and offer Domwolf1 this piece of advice.
“I think your relationship with your slave would be helped much more if you sat down and talked with her about why she left, rather than just lash her for leaving.”
And of course, if he is making the whole thing up… the jokes on me because he just wasted at least six minutes of my time writing this little short essay.
Best of luck to you all in your journey, please feel free to message me if I have pissed you off or if you liked what I had to say.
M. Shibari
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