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chadra -> RE: help!!!! (9/18/2007 2:17:53 PM)
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In my own opinion and experience, the answer is no. You can't.
But I also don't entirely agree with some statements here. I don't believe that all attempts at relationships where the person in the Dominant role isn't that way "naturally" are necessarily game playing or insincere. I suppose they can be. But not all are. It does depend on the two people involved. It depends on how much the individuals involved are prepared to give each other.
My advice, if you're serious about this, is to talk to your partner openly and honestly about your needs. Yes, there's risk there. Think carefully about that risk before you start talking.
Also, if the needs are strong, it's easy to begin thinking solely in those terms; spending some time also thinking about the level of investment you have in the relationship apart from those needs can be very worthwhile. In other words, is this a short term relationship or a long established one? There's absolutely nothing easy about trying to work these issues through if the other person isn't naturally Dominant. On the other hand, there's also nothing easy about finding a person compatible with you in many other areas of life if you are blessed to have that already.
Finally, an honest evaluation for yourself of the difference between your wants and your needs can be crucially important.
All these things were necessary for me back when I was asking myself the very question you are asking today. I wish you the best of luck.
chadra
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