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RE: it all involves money - 7/20/2005 7:56:32 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
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my nuts itch and I can't afford a scratcher....geez, if I had a dollar for everytime this happened..I'd be rich!

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Post #: 41

RE: it all involves money - 7/21/2005 7:16:14 PM

SadisticPrincess

Posts: 87
Joined: 7/4/2005
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quote:

I have to say I disagree with this statement. I don't equate money with a man's ability to show deep emotion and willingness to put time into a relationship. Anyone can buy an iced tea for me, but it takes a special man to hold my interest the rest of the time.

Very true, Ms Julie Ann---and I do not choose my subs based on their bank accounts. I don't think I expressed myself clearly enough. What I was driving at is that the ones who are not alert enough to take care of ME after a scene are not really likely to do so when we are not playing, either.

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Post #: 42

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 1:07:35 AM

MadameG

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/10/2005
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Porfessional dominants DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOUSE WITH THEIR CLIENTS. I can understand your frustration and newness but please before you go spouting off untruths, try to learn more about how female dominants work ,both lifestyle and professional.

< Message edited by MadameG -- 7/23/2005 5:02:59 PM >

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Post #: 43

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 4:58:23 AM

ScreamForMe

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/7/2005
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whoops, logged in under wrong acct

< Message edited by ScreamForMe -- 7/23/2005 5:00:42 AM >

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Post #: 44

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 5:00:08 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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While I don't practice or espouse financial domination.. I have a question for you ruudie14. Do you expect the Domme you serve to provide toys? Whips? Floggers? Do you expect her dressed in leather? In corsets? Do you want to see her strut around in thigh high boots? The trappings and toys of BDSM are expensive. Why are you not responsible for providing some of the toys? What is your problem with shouldering some of the expense? I have never understood why so many subs seem to expect a lifestyle Domme to provide all of the fetish gear. I suspect you'd scream as loud about being asked to buy your own toys for her to use on you as you do about a fetish that, while you don't like, is a turn on to others.

As a newbie you're not overly interesting to many Domme. You've obviously not bothered to learn or understand much about what a Domme might want. I did a blog on why newbie subs can't find Domme yesterday and you're free to read it. I'm not going to retype it here.

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Post #: 45

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 7:23:37 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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quote:

While I don't practice or espouse financial domination.. I have a question for you ruudie14. Do you expect the Domme you serve to provide toys? Whips? Floggers? Do you expect her dressed in leather? In corsets? Do you want to see her strut around in thigh high boots? The trappings and toys of BDSM are expensive. Why are you not responsible for providing some of the toys? What is your problem with shouldering some of the expense? I have never understood why so many subs seem to expect a lifestyle Domme to provide all of the fetish gear. I suspect you'd scream as loud about being asked to buy your own toys for her to use on you as you do about a fetish that, while you don't like, is a turn on to others

Bingo!

For the life of me, I don't get why although it's fine that I have invested literally thousands in equipment, education, conventions, etc....that a sub finds it offensive that <gasp> I fully expect that he pay for dinner when he's courting me.

If it was about the money, I would have skipped buying the toys, etc in favor of just banking the cash.

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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Post #: 46

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 8:30:15 AM

MsKyln

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/22/2005
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Ms Purrmeow
well written, and I agree with you, and other FemDomme on this topic.

Patience ? Gasp !! lol
Be well
Ms. K

quote:

You are not to young to learn or succeed. But your overgeneralizations and attitude in your first post sure makes it sound like you may have a long road ahead of you in learning patience and rationality. We ALL have to be patient to find what we need. You don't get a freebie for being young. We ALL sort through the chaff to find people we connect with. If you can learn the patience, you will find it, too.

Good Luck.

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Post #: 47

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 11:38:04 AM

subimale49

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2005
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I am going to try this forum one more time, hopefully I will be more well received.
The way I see it, if I make the initial contact to a Domme, and if She is a Pro, then I would expect to pay for her services.
On the other hand, if a Domme contacts me, pro or not, She should not expect tribute.
Domination seems to be the "fashionable" thing to do at present. There are a lot of late teen, early 20's young Dommes
that are either working their way through college, or looking for a quick buck. I am not saying that all young Dommes are like that, but there seems to be an influx of younger Dommes.

What really irks me are the Dommes who are into financial domination only. They have web sites where you can send money. Why any sub would send money to a Domme who he/she will never meet real time is totally beyond me. IMNSHO, financial domination and online training are bogus. You might as well drive down the highway and throw your money out the window instead.

My .02 worth.

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Post #: 48

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 11:50:45 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subimale49

I am going to try this forum one more time, hopefully I will be more well received.
The way I see it, if I make the initial contact to a Domme, and if She is a Pro, then I would expect to pay for her services.
On the other hand, if a Domme contacts me, pro or not, She should not expect tribute.
Domination seems to be the "fashionable" thing to do at present. There are a lot of late teen, early 20's young Dommes
that are either working their way through college, or looking for a quick buck. I am not saying that all young Dommes are like that, but there seems to be an influx of younger Dommes.

What really irks me are the Dommes who are into financial domination only. They have web sites where you can send money. Why any sub would send money to a Domme who he/she will never meet real time is totally beyond me. IMNSHO, financial domination and online training are bogus. You might as well drive down the highway and throw your money out the window instead.

My .02 worth.

Did it occur to you that not only are some men into "financial domination only" -- and, on top of that, the amounts of money they toss away are totally inconsequential? I suppose they are rich.

I'm not into financial domination. I know some men are, some men have asked me to do it. What they get off on is the feeling of being objectified, specifically in that manner. Do I understand it? No. But I don't "understand" toilet slavery either (as in, do I have a similiar rush?). But, do you think it's impossible that perhaps a young, horny and impressionably boy was "extorted" by an older, intimidating pretty classmate for his lunch money, and to this day, he holds that "demand" for his "cash" to be an actual *fetish*? It's just as credible as a man who gets off on wearing panties, because an older girl in his impressionable age caught her doing that.

The fact that other women "got into" that fetish as an easy way to get money off the net is simply the nature of the Internet, not the nature of women. All kinds of people are looking for a way to get a quick buck on the net. I would imagine a sophisticated sub into extorition and blackmail is selective about who he engages in this fetish with. I bet the manner in whicha woman "extorts" his money and then humiliates him is a huge turn on for him. In fact, knowing just that scenario I wrote, I bet *I* could blow a man's mind away by using extorition as an erotic, feminine act. But, I don't like the idea of it, and would consider it a no-go for me.

You should go read the thread about why femdoms can't find a decent male sub, and see if maybe there are a few things you can do on your end. Are there things you are doing, or expectations you have, that make the non-pro femdoms pass you up?

Akasha

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Post #: 49

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 1:31:43 PM

subimale49

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2005
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quote:

You should go read the thread about why femdoms can't find a decent male sub, and see if maybe there are a few things you can do on your end. Are there things you are doing, or expectations you have, that make the non-pro femdoms pass you up?

Akasha

I understand what you are saying, although why someone would want to empty their wallets to someone they will ever see is something I just can't comprehend. It would be different if the sub was serving the Domme real time and this aspect of Domination was employed. That is a different ball of wax.

In all honesty, I am seeing a non-Pro Domme at the present time. I have known the Mistress for over a year. Mistress isn't that local to me so we do not get to see one another as much as I know I would like, but there are always incredible times when I visit Her. It is unfortunate that I am very settled where I am. If I were just starting out, I would make it my business to live closer to Her.

Although I may not come off as a good sub in this forum, truth in fact I truly am. My present Mistress seems to think so. This is just one aspect of my life, it is VERY important to me, but there are other things that are as important if not more so as well. When I am in my submissive mode serving Mistress, I am 100% focused and 110% submissive.

However, when we are not "in scene", I am treated as almost Her equal, and I am allowed and encouraged to voice my own opinions and give input. I feel a sub that is submissive all the time, and a Domme who is Domme all the time makes for a very boring friendship/relationship.

In my everyday life, I always try to put any woman first. It could be something like letting the woman get into the elevator first, or letting her cut in on the traffic. I truly believe that woman is superior to man, but that does not mean the man has to always be the doormat.

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RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 2:06:55 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subimale49

On the other hand, if a Domme contacts me, pro or not, She should not expect tribute.

Your profile gives a conflicting statement to this. You say "i desire to serve a FEMDOM or TV MISTRESS who would like to train me in ALL aspects of slavery." Strangely enough, financial/tribute slavery is one aspect. As is castration and a host of other practices that many don't find to be the "norm." You're the one who opens the door. Don't complain if people walk in.

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Post #: 51

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 4:50:50 PM

MadameG

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I also agree! He states anyone can play the role of dominant. NOT true. We do not play at being dominant, we are dominant. It is a large part of my inner spirit.

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Post #: 52

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 5:14:01 PM

subimale49

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameG

I also agree! He states anyone can play the role of dominant. NOT true. We do not play at being dominant, we are dominant. It is a large part of my inner spirit.

I said no such thing. There is nothing in my post that says ANYONE can be dominant. There are a lot of young ladies that
are pro Dommes who pretend to be Dommes.

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Post #: 53

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 7:19:40 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subimale49
However, when we are not "in scene", I am treated as almost Her equal, and I am allowed and encouraged to voice my own opinions and give input. I feel a sub that is submissive all the time, and a Domme who is Domme all the time makes for a very boring friendship/relationship.

If that works for you, great! I think the important thing is to keep the sense of playfulness, and the energy between you, alive.

erm... what's the topic? Oh yes, "money dommes". If you aren't attracted to them, don't write them - at least that is how I see it. There is no reason to put down someone else's kink.

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Post #: 54

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 8:13:22 PM

Gemeni

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Is this simple enough to understand?(to the op)

If you desire not to play with the ones who want pay,

Just pack it in,and don't whine,go away.

< Message edited by Gemeni -- 7/23/2005 8:17:16 PM >

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Post #: 55

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 9:58:51 PM

saret

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/27/2005
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Alright.

Have you even tried looking for BDSM communities in your area?

Virtually every moderately-sized population center has some sort of kinky group. Most welcome new members, are supportive, composed of "normal" everyday, non-ProDom/me people with jobs and families. These groups usually hold regular meetings, social activities and events, many even offer workshops and how-to lectures on kinky subjects.

These groups are hands-down the best place to meet someone else interested in the BDSM lifestyle because they enjoy it, not because they are making a living from it.

If you absolutely cannot find any within driving distance of where you live, start one!! You say you are a college student, start such a group on college. You'll be genuinely surprized at the turnout.

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Post #: 56

RE: it all involves money - 7/23/2005 10:01:16 PM

saret

Posts: 71
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Alright.

Have you even tried looking for BDSM communities in your area?

Virtually every moderately-sized population center has some sort of kinky group. Most welcome new members, are supportive, composed of "normal" everyday, non-ProDom/me people with jobs and families. These groups usually hold regular meetings, social activities and events, many even offer workshops and how-to lectures on kinky subjects.

These groups are hands-down the best place to meet someone else interested in the BDSM lifestyle because they enjoy it, not because they are making a living from it.

If you absolutely cannot find any within driving distance of where you live, start one!! You say you are a college student, start such a group on college. You'll be genuinely surprized at the turnout.

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Post #: 57

RE: it all involves money - 7/24/2005 12:13:35 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gemeni
Is this simple enough to understand?(to the op)
If you desire not to play with the ones who want pay,
Just pack it in,and don't whine,go away.

Maybe this is the disclaimer collarme needs to use to help the subs who are annoyed about money. M

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Post #: 58

RE: it all involves money - 7/24/2005 10:18:26 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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I sympathize with your situation.

Understand first that women who send you an email asking for money deserve one thing -- to be deleted.

That being said, also recognize that not all of us seek someone new, especially not someone who can't even legally buy me a cocktail if we were to go out to a club or restaurant.

Last, your attitude about "finding a hooker" shows a bit of arrogance, alot of ignorance and a whole lot of obnoxiousness that I sure don't tolerate in a brand new submissive.

Good luck to you in your search.

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

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Post #: 59

RE: it all involves money - 7/27/2005 9:46:14 PM

NoMercySadist

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I require male submissives to buy their own butt plug kits (obviously a single person usage item) and they have the AUDACITY to balk at such a simple/cheap/reasonable expectation to partcipate in anal training - dont EVEN get Me started on the anal virgins who think they dont need to be stretched and just want to jump right into strap on "play" which in REALITY can end up w/a trip to the ER if not properly stretched over time...

If a sub isnt willing to invest (under $30) for his own health/safety, I have to wonder why he has the NERVE to expect Me to use the many thousands of dollars worth of toys I have to scene w/him (let alone time and energy...)

1 of the many ironies I encounter w/ prospective "subs"

HER

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Post #: 60