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Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 10:35:17 AM

jackthehammer

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Hi everyone,

My girl friend (my sub) wants me to set out a set of protocol for her. could you lovely sub/slaves give me some examples of protocols that your master established for you?

Thank you

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 11:09:57 AM

breatheasone

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LOL...how nice that you mind your sub so well....

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 11:29:56 AM

ProlificNeeds

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Protocols are nice for helping keep the mindset, but using someone elses rituals and mannerisms might not be for you. Building off regular habitual activities, or things YOU enjoy, will be best, helping your sub focus on you, and not herself. To me, the purpose of protocols and rituals of that kind, are designed to remind both parties of the relationship and it's more intricate nuances that sometimes get forgotten or taken for granted int he everyday routines.

Have your sub create three rituals or protocols designed for the express purpose of serving you, giving you both some 'together' time, and bringing some enjoyment to your day. Giving her homework, will also make her realize... she's got to work at it, not expect you to chart everything out for her.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 11:35:33 AM

gypsygrl

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One time, after He had given me a series of things I was supposed to do the next day, I put my head in my hands and told him, "You just gave me a shit load of stuff to do tomorrow, and I haven't a clue what you just said." (It was all protocol-like stuff) He looked at me and said, "Just follow me around like a lost dog." I take that to be my basic protocol. If in doubt, follow Him.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 9/18/2007 11:36:08 AM >

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 12:09:31 PM

RCdc

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First you need to communicate what she means by wanting protocols and what she sees them as and then define them clearly to her what you expect and what you consider to be right.
For us, Protocol could be the way she approaches you - or the name she calls you - or how she behaves to others. It is the communication.
Rituals would be what she does - and what you do - together and to /with each other. It is the activities.

Peace
the.dark.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 12:21:27 PM

Celeste43

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

LOL...how nice that you mind your sub so well....

Was there any purpose to you being nasty as all get out? They have a relationship with open communication. She communicated a need and like any caring partner, he wants to ensure it's filled. But since he's unfamiliar with this area, he came to ask questions.

Protocols could be anything from meeting you naked at the door, cuffs and collar on, on all fours to having a martini made for you, shaken not stirred every evening at 6:05 exactly.

Is that what she wants or is she actually asking you for a list of rules?

In either case, don't overload her or yourself by inventing a dozen at once. She'll have trouble remembering them and so will you. And if you can't remember the rule, and notice if it isn't done, then why bother inventing it.

Here, we're pretty loose. If I get up first, then I make his tea and stick it in front of his seat in the kitchen. If I bring it into the bedroom he just breathes in the scent and goes back to sleep. So he wants it out there for him to come seeking.

I'm supposed to jump up and come kiss him when he walks in, or if in the middle of something I can't leave, then as soon as I can. He'd rather wait for his kiss than have dinner burn.

And since we both have terrible sleep patterns, I'm not supposed to just get out of bed if I wake up. I'm supposed to lie there and try to get back to sleep. If I'm wide awake an hour later then it's okay to get up and go on the computer or read in the other room.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 12:42:55 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

Was there any purpose to you being nasty as all get out?

Say what??? i thought i was being factitious.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 1:18:28 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

LOL...how nice that you mind your sub so well....

Interesting response....

To try and answer the OP's question: What do you want her to do and what matters to you? My relationship is not very high protocol, but Valyraen's hot chocolate and salad are to be prepared a very certain and exact way. I am not to deviate in the slightest. I know exactly what kind of spoons he wants to use for his soup and there must always be enough of those clean (he likes big ones, I like small ones) for him to have soup if he decides he wants it.

Some must greet their owner at the door, others put toothpaste on their owner's toothbrush every morning before they get up. I have protocol to very personal and very different depending on the relationship. Good luck!

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/18/2007 1:19:11 PM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 1:40:18 PM

Mercnbeth

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the words I, me, mine and my no longer apply to this slave's life. Master desires this slave not to use them, instead to communicate in the third person should the opportunity arise to pontificate about her path, orientation, dynamic or former self, with others and also in communication with Him.

it is an example of a protocol that Master desired and since this slave has no desire to limit Master's use of her, she submitted to it. after 4 years, there are still occasions when "I" or "My" pop out...some training for certain protocols can take time to perfect.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 5:14:06 PM

softpjOS

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Also, when coming up with these rules/rituals/protocals consider how realistic are they? Coming up with a list of things You expect her to follow without taking into consideration if they are truly feasible will be setting her up for a feeling of failure. As my group of friends always say..

K-eep
I-t
S-imple
S-tupid

LOL. No, not calling anyone stupid so put away the torches!

Over the years Mistress and i have expanded the list of "rules/rituals" as the ones in place became pure habit/second nature to me. I don't even think about them as a rule, just something I wouldn't consider doing/not doing. Had we started out with the list we have today, I'm quite certain I would have found myself completely overwhelmed and constantly worried about forgetting one.

What if she forgets/doesn't follow one? Not only do You need to consider what the rules are, You need to consider what the consequences will be if they are not followed.

I would suggest this be something the two of you sit down and discuss at length. Perhaps each making a list and from the two coming up with one you both agree upon. Be prepared to drop/edit those you find to be problems, expand on those that are working.

pj

edited to add:

a couple of very do-able ones could include:

ensuring Her beverage of choice is fresh and refilled when we are together *that includes dining out....She shouldn't have to ask a waitress for a refill!*

not allowed to use the word "no" to Her except when answering a question and then it must include "Ma'am"

no orgasms without Her permission

When dining together i prepare and serve Her plate before fixing my own

< Message edited by softpjOS -- 9/18/2007 5:26:43 PM >

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 6:14:39 PM

feastie

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Why don't you choose one thing and start there. It can be anything you like. If that's successful, add another.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 6:26:39 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 6:37:38 PM

arayofsunshine55

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Always wear skirts. Always wear heels. Never were panties. That's about it.

< Message edited by arayofsunshine55 -- 9/18/2007 6:38:06 PM >

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/18/2007 6:43:09 PM

lighthearted

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Why don't you choose one thing and start there. It can be anything you like. If that's successful, add another.

I think that's a great idea, we only have a couple, but they are always very helpful to me when I need to get in the proper mindset.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/19/2007 5:55:57 AM

jackthehammer

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Thank you Celeste43. She wants a set of rules to show that she is a slave and I am her master. She wants me to be her true DOM physically and mentally.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/19/2007 6:29:29 AM

desertdancer

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I think it's great that you've asked.

I do feel that rules and protocols are slightly different things. Protocols could be any of the things listed like tooth paste on the toothbrush or Valyraen's soup spoons, or the drink waiting for you.

Rules I see more as a code of conduct set forth by the Master, kinda like you shall not wear my bath robe, or you will always shave your 'down below' area, you are to kneel by my feet with your head in my lap when I watch tv, or you may not chat to people on collarme or answer messages without first asking me, the list could go on.

I too would suggest comming up with one thing and starting from there, it also wouldn't hurt to ask her, maybe she's got something in mind that would really be "hot' to her, would just flat out do it for her, putting her into the right head space.

Good luck,
~dancer

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/19/2007 7:44:37 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jackthehammer

Thank you Celeste43. She wants a set of rules to show that she is a slave and I am her master. She wants me to be her true DOM physically and mentally.

Well in that case you are just fucked. To be a twue DOM you have to already gotten your Master's from Sadism U and you must never do anything that makes your slave happy and fulfills her.

Not that I'm feel snarky this morning...

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/19/2007 1:58:50 PM

ownedkitten

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Well in that case you are just fucked. To be a twue DOM you have to already gotten your Master's from Sadism U and you must never do anything that makes your slave happy and fulfills her

*giggle* I know, right?!

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/19/2007 2:05:00 PM

ownedkitten

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But seriously, the amount of protocol needed is going to vary depending on the persons in the relationship. I thrive on protocol and rituals, so we worked out a few that have meaning for us.

All one word answers (such as "yes" or "no") are to be followed by the use of an appropriate honorific - Master (in private or "lifestyle" surroundings) or Sir (in "vanilla" surroundings).

Master calls me on his way home from work so that I know to expect him home soon. When he opens the front door he expects to find me kneeling there, waiting for him. I say "Welcome home, Master" and give him a cold drink.

When he goes to bed, I am to retire there with him. I kneel by the side of the bed and read/recite the slave's prayer that I wrote, then ask permission to join him for the night.

Those are some of the major ones, but we have others. Each has a specific meaning and purpose for us. Do what works for you.

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RE: Need Protocol - 9/19/2007 2:53:10 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jackthehammer

Thank you Celeste43. She wants a set of rules to show that she is a slave and I am her master. She wants me to be her true DOM physically and mentally.

One caution in setting rules and protocols. Do NOT make a rule you are not fully prepared to enforce. For a slave who needs protocol to ease her mind, the only thing worse than no protocol is no enforcement.

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