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iammachine -> RE: New task from Sir and confused... (9/19/2007 12:17:14 PM)
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I've not read the entire thread, so forgive me if I'm echoing in my statements.
Also, what I say may come across as a bit callous. Feel free to rail me for being a cold-hearted bitch, but there really is no nice way to say some things.
I'm going to emphasize the statements that stick out to me.
quote:
Sir has very limited time for his slave at the moment.(family emergency) This is a relationship based online, until such time as we can meet.
<snip>
Sir said he wanted me to find Sir another slave. This was to help me as a newbie to learn how I should act and behave, Sir may also use this slave sexually and expects me to do as I'm instructed. (I'm not bi or really interested in other women.)
So I thought about this for a while, Sir likes the idea of a poly relationship.don't think I could cope with watching or knowing Sir was using another slave sexually,its not about not wanting Sir to be happy, I just know this kind of thing would really mess me up in the head. As well as the fact that Sir would want for me to have to do sexually things with another woman. ( I realise to some Master/Sirs that this is putting my own needs above Sir's)
<snip>
What I'm not really sure about was, whether Sir just wanted to see how much I would be willing to embrace something that Sir would enjoy? Regardless if I didn't and in doing so, would put Sir's needs above my own thoughts and feelings? Whether Sir just wanted me to learn more from a female slave prespective? and to understand more about how I should behave? Or Sir was completely serious and wanted another slave?
<snip>
I'm also concerned that when getting another slave involved and promising meetings and play, and then for Sir and this slave to be so happy, with me sat there feeling like crap. Its not just going to mess with my head, its going to mess with everyones head.
Okay, so in summary, you're in an online relationship with someone you've not met in person. Before your current relationship has even really been established, your 'Sir' wants you to find another person to bring into the fold.You're not sure how you feel about poly (understandable), and you are not interested in women sexually. Your Sir seems to be interested in directing you to do things with other women, despite your lack of desire. You are wondering about your own needs, and how important they are. Whether your should protect your interests, or go along with things you are not comfortable with for the sake of someone else.
Am I missing anything here?
The first thing that jumps out in my mind is DANGER: WILL ROBINSON!!!!
Sweetheart, I understand you have a strong desire to please but lets be realistic here. You're reaching here, you're reaching really bloody far. First off, you are responsible for making sure your needs are met. Yes, its wonderful and lovely if your able to trust someone to take your needs into account, and trust that they will do what is in your best interest. But the bottom line is, it takes time to build that kind of trust and regardless, you are responsible for making sure what you are engaging in, really is in your best interest. Respecting and caring about the needs and desires of someone else does not mean that your own needs cease to exist. You're damn tootin' you should be protecting your own interests, you haven't even met this person!
As for all the questions you have, those are things you should discuss with this person. But before you even worry about all that, I'd really stop and think seriously about what you have going on here. You seem to be very devoted to something that isn't even at all tangible. Before you can even think about adding other people, you need a relationship that has a strong foundation. Right now, I'm not even seeing a relationship, I'm seeing a fantasy train headed for disaster. Given your statements about this situation messing with your head, and anyone you may bring into it, I think on some level, you realize it too.
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