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Mommy... - 9/19/2007 10:51:11 AM   
ineedyouMistress


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		Hello ladies.  I need some help to understand something that has been a bit unsettling and confusing.

A few nights ago in bed I was imagining being with my Mistress, cuddling and holding, getting kissed on the forehead, being told I'm a good boy, and all that mushy stuff.   In my imagination I had a very strong urge to call my Mistress "Mommy."  I don't know where that came up at all.

I've thought about the relationship I have/had with my mother, and thankfully nothing indicates I have feelings in that direction.  The idea is pretty repulsive at a gut level for me in fact, the same as with the idea of any other member of my family or with men (just not bi at all).  So where is this from?  I have no extraordinary interest in infantalism (though I wouldn't mind such activities as play from time to time).

Is it just a powerful word,  my first word, loaded with the idea of a person who protects and unconditionally loves me?  Is this one of those "seeking to return to the womb" or Oedipal primal psychological things being brought to the surface and examined (d/s as a way to learn about our deepest selves).

I'm not with my Mistress anymore due to our career and family situations, so once I'm on my feet out here I will be seeking a new Mistress.  I've seen a lot of subs "looking for my Daddy Dom", so is there a such thing as a Mistress who wants to be "Mommy Mistress"?   If so, what drives her to assume that role (or does everyone have their own reasons?)? 
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RE: Mommy... - 9/19/2007 11:04:09 AM   
plushiecat


Posts: 109
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline 		Why is it so horrible?  There are MANY 'DaddyDoms' out there, so likely there is a counterpoint! :)  A 'Mommy' cares for you, loves you, and wants to protect you...not so unlike a good dominant, eh?  :)  Talk to your mistress about it. :)

(in reply to ineedyouMistress)
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RE: Mommy... - 9/19/2007 11:08:24 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Is this one of those "seeking to return to the womb"


All I can add is that it took me 9 months to get out and the rest of my life trying to get back in? I remember it was such a nice,warm,safe and protected place...lol

sorry for the sidetrack...



(in reply to ineedyouMistress)
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RE: Mommy... - 9/19/2007 12:41:41 PM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think its weird for all the reasons above.  There have been times when me and my boy have been snuggled up and ive thought how much i feel like i was his mummy in a fleeting loving way.  There are times in play where I will say be a good boy for mummy or something similar becasue at that point its wrong and naughty.  And the weirdest thing of all is that when we are all loved up and snuggly or i am being cute and i want something I call him daddy !! and I'm the mistress.

We dont do any kind of age play but I do see similarities in how I feel about my boy to my mothering instincts.  I like to look after him in a motherly fashion making sure he eats etc and is healthy and happy and i want to protect and nurture him and teach him.  I think we definatly have a mommy element in there and an eager little boy wanting to please but its not our fetish just similar feelings I guess.


I would just like to add that Im not into sex with my dad or mum  lol


ha ha ha edited to amend the bad bad typo lmao i dont snuggle up with my mum   in case anyone saw that


< Message edited by canupleaseme -- 9/19/2007 12:43:02 PM >

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RE: Mommy... - 9/19/2007 12:49:14 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		I was just going to say "did somebody call me?"
I've had moments like that in a relationship.   To myself it simply signifies a level of comfort, intimacy and trust for your domina as being the one who cares for and nurtures you.   Having said that, I'm not at all into infantilism type of play, as that would turn me right off.   M

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RE: Mommy... - 9/19/2007 12:54:45 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

If so, what drives her to assume that role (or does everyone have their own reasons?)?


I'm pretty sure everyone has their own motivations. The common thread that I've noticed between Daddy/Mama boy/girl dynamics, is that the top tends to be a nurturing, caregiver figure. I see nothing wrong with the dynamic at all.



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(in reply to ineedyouMistress)
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RE: Mommy... - 9/19/2007 5:44:25 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		A "mommy" type of Mistress appeals to me alot.  Though I am not into infantailism, I do have a 6 year old personality that sometimes comes out.  I know part of this desire stems from my mother not giving alot of affection when I was little, I have absolutely NO desire to......oh ew! I can't even say it! **shudders**

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(in reply to iammachine)
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RE: Mommy... - 9/19/2007 7:14:12 PM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		Well I must say that this title of the thread grabbed my attention rather quickly, considering my sn here and most other places contain the name Mama in it.

I am certainly not into infantilism at all, in any way.......... however, I am a nurturing person and tend to make the rules.  The majority of my friends (vanilla too) all call me Mama.

(in reply to ineedyouMistress)
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RE: Mommy... - 9/20/2007 10:31:54 AM   
EternalInferno


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline 		I was just wondering...

You aren't with your mistress anymore and I'm sure are missing her.  Maybe you are getting to a 'needy' place and need to address that more than maybe go the way of thinking you are.  It may have nothing to do with a 'mom' kind of thing... just that you are missing that part of your relationship with your mistress and it came out in a word that the mind most quickly goes to with those types of needs.  I would think that this and the fact that you were in bed and might have been tired, just suggest you aren't getting what you need.

Just a thought I had.  Good luck to you!

(in reply to MamaDomme)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/13/2007 6:11:12 PM   
ineedotk


Posts: 109
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		If I had a Domme, I would want her to be a caring and nuturing type person.  I don't know if I'd go to the extent of calling her "Mommy", but I'd be attracted to a mother-like lady.

(in reply to EternalInferno)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/13/2007 6:13:20 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ineedotk

If I had a Domme, I would want her to be a caring and nuturing type person.  I don't know if I'd go to the extent of calling her "Mommy", but I'd be attracted to a mother-like lady.

agreed

(in reply to ineedotk)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/13/2007 6:13:36 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		It would probably freak me out if a sub actually called me mommy, but I dont think having the thought is unusual or in any way pathological.

Sounds like you are content and safe and feeling it, that's not a bad thing and grats.
l

(in reply to ineedotk)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/13/2007 8:55:18 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Aunt Strict (aka Moi) would FREAK if someone called her mommy...I am SO not into the parent/child dynamic!  I am extremely loving and nurturing, and a real mama bear type, but EEEH!   That would really disturb me.

I think that it's great that you have that feeling of comfort and safety, though.  Really, it reflects well on your relationship.

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RE: Mommy... - 10/13/2007 9:05:19 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		In a completely nonsexual way, I have often felt motherlike to different people in my life. I have an adult son, a mum and dad, people I am very close to and sometimes feel like that about them all. Usually when they are in trouble, or needy, and I am doing the impossible and helping them out of something, or organising something, that they can't handle. I think it's a natural thing for most women to feel like this at some time, the whole maternal feeling. The maternal instinct is strong in many animals. Look how occasionally a dog will take over rearing an orphaned kitten, wolves take in a human child, or a tiger take over a bear cubs feeding and care. Completely unnatural, but it happens.

Sexually, I have no mother instincts at all, but hey, if it's your thing, good luck to you.

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RE: Mommy... - 10/13/2007 10:54:45 PM   
rob425


Posts: 154
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		Currently watchin an episode of 'Real Sex' and they are at an Adult baby party with plenty of "Dommy Mommy's"

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/14/2007 5:59:02 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I grew up in South East London where the culture, as I experienced it when a child and was typical of the culture prior to my time also, was such that the mother of the household was referred to as 'Mother' or 'Mummy' by elders as she was the matriarch of the household, the person whom everyone came to for advice and help, the authority figure that the 'father' left everything of importance to while he got on and concentrated on relaxing after a day's hard graft, and the person who meted out discipline and affection in equal doses.

It was a title of respect and one my own boy calls me from time to time.

There is no correlation between this status and those who enjoy infantilism.

(in reply to ineedyouMistress)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/14/2007 6:41:27 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ineedyouMistress

A few nights ago in bed I was imagining being with my Mistress, cuddling and holding, getting kissed on the forehead, being told I'm a good boy, and all that mushy stuff. In my imagination I had a very strong urge to call my Mistress "Mommy." I don't know where that came up at all.

I've thought about the relationship I have/had with my mother, and thankfully nothing indicates I have feelings in that direction. The idea is pretty repulsive at a gut level for me in fact, the same as with the idea of any other member of my family or with men (just not bi at all). So where is this from?


As I see it, Mothers are our gateways into the world. Newborn and helpless, it is through the Mother one first experiences love, nurture and discipline, and so many other things. The deepest roots of our first experiences with the world are through Her. A Mistress is inevitably a visceral extension of the spirit of Mother—of Her authority and power—no matter how darkly it is used. It is said some wounded men groan and cry for their Mothers on the battle field. It makes sense men would cry for Her in deep submission, too.

(in reply to ineedyouMistress)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/14/2007 4:25:42 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I took steps to ensure I never had any "real children" ... I taught too many of them to want ones that stayed overnight! I am "Mummy" (I'm English/Australian!)only to My furkids. That said, a former sub/slave of Mine really appreciated My nurturing ways and eventually asked if he could call Me Mistress Mommy (he was American) ... and you know what? I loved it! That surprised the hell out of Me ... but it just made Me feel good. There was no infantilism involved (though I have nothing against that, I know a very adorable adult baby but I am a klutz with diapers!), certainly no sexual pseudo-oedipal thing happening ... it was just a comfort word, but a powerful one. I wouldn't let it worry Me if someone called Me that again.

As a sub, every now and then i have a desire to call Master "Dada" ... He gets a bit squicked on that (but then He's 15 years younger so it does seem a bit misplaced LOL!) ... however i do it just occasionally and in fun ... but it relieves the need!

I am inclined to agree that having lost your Mistress you are probably in greater need than usual and maybe that's where this came from ... but I would think there would be Dominas who would agree to be Mistress Mommy at least some of the time. Good luck in finding what you seek!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Mommy... - 10/14/2007 4:29:27 PM   
sammyBoy1980


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		i like the mommy thing too (not family lol) with a Mistress..im not talking about diapers and stuff haha....just to be with a secure confident mature woman! wish i could find such a woman..would be heaven!

(in reply to amayos)
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RE: Mommy... - 10/14/2007 6:38:23 PM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe because I have no children the moma thing does not squick me...I do not see it though at the infantilism play...it is something rather protective, nurturing or caring but not in the same way that own my mother was with me or my mom friends are with their children.  It is different but I do think of the feeling that is evoked within me as maternal - and it may be due to the fact that I have no kids so this is as maternal as I get - lol.  I have usually have an intern or other youngster under my wing in my professional life and I always feel very maternal to them...but when I meet their actual mothers we recognize no similarities in our relationship to the youngster.  Moma may not be the proper word but then I try not to get stuck in wording and semantics but focus on intention and outcome instead.

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Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to sammyBoy1980)
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