Rip your profile a new one!

Rip your profile a new one! (Full Version)

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e01n -> Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:00:11 PM)
spun off from page 3 of http://www.collarchat.com/m_1286414/tm.htm Idea: critique YOUR profile using the criteria you use for others. Be honest! Be brutal! None of this namby-pamby compassion business! Critiquing others will brand you as an illiterate idiot who pays no attention to the OP and is worthy of the scorn you shall receive, capisce?

e01n -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:01:23 PM)
Moody picture... angry look... Wm. S. Burroughs quote... interesting, a bit pretentious though. Probably secretly like comic books and lives in his mother's basement... in the dark. "Emotionally unavailable" - sounds like he's more trouble than he's worth. And what's this Lake County thing supposed to mean? An in-joke of some type? Okay - this explains much - "friends only"... implies that either this douchebag only wants to talk to people... or he's mastered the art of attracting women through the gravity caused by his mass... Wow - lots of pervy things in the checklist thingy... some "expert" even... but by who's standards and criteria, eh? Hard limits - these are laughable. I mean RenFairs and SCA as "expert" Hard Limits? WTF?

beargonewild -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:05:34 PM)
edited because I did.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:14:21 PM)
don't have much on my profile for anyone to critique ...it's contains very little info as i decide whether or not i delete it and create a joint one with my SO (who'll be my Dom when the time comes).

SuspendedInGaffa -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:20:31 PM)
A newbie? At his age? Guaranteed cyber-wanker. Oh look, he's put "knitting" as a hard limit in a desperate attempt to look wacky and interesting. Ha fucking ha. No photo? I think we know why that is, don't we? And if he's that curious about all those things in his "curious" list, why doesn't he get off his fat ass and actually try one of 'em? Twat. In summary: 350lb beer monster who lives in a trailer with his mom. His three best friends are his games console, the internet and his wrist. Form an orderly queue, ladies...

CandyLover -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:22:12 PM)
Sounds fun, I'll give it a paragraph-by-paragraph try on my profile: "I have a life, and I enjoy it." If she had a life, why would she be wasting time online all day? No interest in sex? Selfish prude who just wants her kinks fulfilled while ignoring her partner's needs. Sounds like a total elitist, not considering anyone outside of Southern California and making cracks about how everywhere else is Podunk. Oh, some more kink stuff in the next paragraph, maybe she's typing with one hand. Cosplay is just an excuse to wear stuff that looks like maid outfits while avoiding housework. Wants to have her cake and eat it too. If she's willing to trade kink time with another sub, she must be totally desperate. She wants to know what BDSM stuff I'm interested in yet doesn't even list her BDSM interests on the side of the profile? Must be a total pervert if all she wants to hear about on the first message is that. Stupid stereotyping excuse for not using Yahoo messenger, maybe it's just a lame way to put her cup size in her profile. I can tell she's not a real woman because she used to watch GI-Joe. Collectible card games and manga? Nerd alert! I ought to pre-emptively block her before she casts Magic Missile on me.

petdave -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:23:19 PM)
Your work is puerile and under-dramatised. You lack any sense of structure, character, or the Aristotelian unities. [&o]

mnottertail -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 12:34:08 PM)
mine sucks, it attracts nigerians (who never look at it) and I am in profile hell for all time. Dante Alighieri

earthycouple -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 1:42:56 PM)
Bored horny housewife with fake pictures

Bearlee -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 1:52:55 PM)
ROFLMAO.............. nh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 1:57:18 PM)
i got so disgusted on aol, i changed my profile to read as follows..... im fat and havent suppressed a fart or belch since my ex left 5 years ago......im also a sex maniac.....so if youre blind, with short term memory loss, have a hot tub and massage oils, i love you....not that fake aol love-its real i swear..... i get IM's from dudes who get pissy i wont meet them for a quick bj-tell me talk is cheap and im a fake for not following up what my profile promises.... gawd i love the internet-lmfao-such cheap entertainment... wait...maybe ill change my collarme profile to say the same.......sorta like castin a hook in fresh waters..... hmmmmmmmmm

scifi1133 -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 1:57:47 PM)
hmmm profile name must be an hng.....has probably never seen a woman naked. no info in profile must mean that he has nothing intelligent to say. pic of man on harley obviously faked with the name of the profile......probably his brother or something. here to network must mean no actual real world experience and he is just trying to wank to stories about other peoples experiences. rotflmao....nice this was fun now I have to change my profile some lmao. Chris

sweetNsmartBBW -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 2:09:40 PM)
No picture and a bbw....must be fricking HUGE... She's looking for friendship and good conversation? What is this, a book club??? Definitely a bored housewife- and so dang wordy- would likely never get in a word with this one- she can blabber on and on! Old fashioned values and thinks this is not about sex? Not just a bored housewife, a Puritanical bored housewife... Monogamous, not bi, vanilla demeanor- and looking for a LTR. Wow...she sounds fun...NOT. Does this profile NEVER end?

iammachine -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 2:16:11 PM)
iammachine? she must be a SEX machine!! unf unf wow, she has a lot of different looks. is she a chameleon? "My interests are varied, with varied experience levels to match." Noob! "If what you are looking to share consists of a sexual relationship, any sort of romantic commitment, or a TPE, I am afraid that I would prefer that these desires be directed elsewhere." So what DOES she want? Fuckin' prude. "don't forget about your mythical friend the blue raccoon! " WTF is a blue raccoon?

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 2:25:23 PM)
Winsome defiance? Why don't you just call yourself a brat! Charming defiance my ass. Get the thumb out of your mouth! What are you, two? Former Pro Domme. Must be a money grubbing wanna be Domme. Not looking to be collared. Just begging for it! Looking for male slaves. Fat and lazy (I didn't have to critique my profile. Someone sent me an email saying pretty much most of this LOL!)

RosaB -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 2:51:44 PM)
Militant angry anti-relationship black chic. Probably had her uterus removed. Nothing a good enema won't cure. Only here for the message boards. [8\|] A dreamer, actually expects to find something informative on a site over populated with wankers. Sure your right.

MsBearlee -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 3:00:43 PM)
Kinda fat, for an ol’ broad Doesn’t talk enough about sex; must be frigid! Jezuz; whips and knives…is she nuts? Loves watersports? Yup, she’s nuts! She’s not a domme; just a top? …she’s a wimp! She wants a tribute? OMG…she’s a ProDom! She has boobs and boots; I don’t NEED to read her profile I’ll (a married bi boy of 20 who lives across the country, is afraid of pain and gacks at the idea of pee but wants to play forced-fem), write and ask her to cyber me!!!

Bearlee -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 3:02:09 PM)
Too many pics; must be a switch! Likes ‘lifestyle’; must be an exhibitionist and pretty easy, too! Gawd…what she wants IS a god; I’m not good enough for her cuz I’m new Joined ’04; must be a looser!!! I wonder WHERE she is in CO? She has the same boots as MsBearlee; I bet they're the same person... ...who is she kidding???

SeanPony -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 4:10:33 PM)
What a crazy petting zoo frequenting asshole! Never updated a fucking thing. Just sod off ya Irish bastard! only cool thing is the link to free movies. http://joox.net/cat/2/id/1181371

LDRandAstarte -> RE: Rip your profile a new one! (9/19/2007 4:36:45 PM)
Hmmmm. handsome guy... She can spank me too. Not a lot of info about themselvs, must be boring as hell! Listed alot of thier likes, dislikes and such, but the hard limit on golf makes me wonder if it's all fake. The journal at the end sounds like losers to me, sore losers at that! Although the outlined evening sounds like a blast!

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