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How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 8:53:14 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
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Preface:One of these days i'll come up with an intelligant post but for now yes this post is more about me being smitten and just reaffirming what i'm mostly already sure about but i'm just giddy and i know it's a bit immature but bear with me please.

i would like opinions.

These last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of unexpectedness.He and i have been spending every day together.It's so nice to finally meet someone local.He makes me feel amazing and beautiful and special.We vibe so perfectly.i didnt think after the last man that i dated that i would ever feel that submissive with another again, but i do and even more so with Him.i've always been cautious about jumping into things this quickly but in this case i just can't seem to help myself.He takes care of me,he nutures me,he brings out the little girl in me,he gives me everything and my desire to please and serve him just gets stronger and stronger each day.Yes i know it's fast and as i said it was enormously unexpected but i know that i desire no other but Him.i am glad to finally be happy.But many have warned me to slow down a bit.Is two weeks too soon?Keep in mind we have been spending every day together.How long did it take for you realize that you found your one?What's the shortest amount of time that it took you to realize that this person was a perfect match for you?

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

Post #: 1

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 8:57:31 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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There's no time limit, if you feel it's the right choice to make, then make it.

You are deciding that you want to become involved in a particular commitment, what commitment is it? What will it mean to you both? What expectations will there be?

Chances are good that it is frenzy, that it will burn out, that you will have lots of things you didn't consider come back to haunt you.

And there's a chance that you will work through it and be long term and fulfilled no matter what.

I don't know enough background or personal history to advise whether *I* think it's a good idea or not, and you're going to do what you want no matter what anyone here says anyway.

Two weeks isn't long enough to know a whole person and how your whole relationship will work itself out. But it's long enough to know whether you want to keep going.

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 2

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 9:04:06 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Chances are good that it is frenzy, that it will burn out, that you will have lots of things you didn't consider come back to haunt you.

Yes and this is what i'm afraid of but how do you slow down something that is just so magnetic?. i dont want to make the same mistakes as i did in the past.In past relationships i've lingered too long,inadvertantly pushing people away that i really wanted a relationship with.If this one is meant to be, i want to make sure to do it right.

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 3

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 9:07:59 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dechala
Yes and this is what i'm afraid of but how do you slow down something that is just so magnetic?. i dont want to make the same mistakes as i did in the past.In past relationships i've lingered too long,inadvertantly pushing people away that i really wanted a relationship with.If this one is meant to be, i want to make sure to do it right.

I don't have enough information to go on...this is as much an issue of how HE is as it is on YOU are. New relationship energy never lasts, combining that with new sub/dom frenzy energy it's nearly impossible to sort out what's going to settle on the dust eventually.

The question you are asking is whether your relationship is something to decide to keep going on, or something that's not worth your time?

I'd say if you have enough questions to be asking anonymous people online, that's a good sign to just stay where you are now. What is there to lose? Like you said, it has only been two weeks, surely a few more months of just dating and having fun won't be the end of the world.

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 4

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 9:19:46 AM

Gemeni

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Joined: 2/19/2005
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I'd say just enjoy yourself for now.

Emerald is correct about frenzies and the new relationship energy.

Give it a few months, and then decide if you'll make any commitment-now is probably not a good time to decide.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 5

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 9:25:57 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: dechala
Yes and this is what i'm afraid of but how do you slow down something that is just so magnetic?. i dont want to make the same mistakes as i did in the past.In past relationships i've lingered too long,inadvertantly pushing people away that i really wanted a relationship with.If this one is meant to be, i want to make sure to do it right.

I don't have enough information to go on...this is as much an issue of how HE is as it is on YOU are. New relationship energy never lasts, combining that with new sub/dom frenzy energy it's nearly impossible to sort out what's going to settle on the dust eventually.

The question you are asking is whether your relationship is something to decide to keep going on, or something that's not worth your time?

I'd say if you have enough questions to be asking anonymous people online, that's a good sign to just stay where you are now. What is there to lose? Like you said, it has only been two weeks, surely a few more months of just dating and having fun won't be the end of the world.

oh im absolutely going to continue on with it and see where it leads.As i said in my preface my post was more about me just being giddy and i also was curious what the shortest amount of time for some to realize things were.i like to listen and read opinions but if if i were to start evolving my life around what anonymous people online thought id never get anything done.Its just more of a fluff fun topic and cuz im happy more than anything

But as i said i enjoy reading what others have to say but i dont revolve my life around it.

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 6

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 9:27:29 AM

stormsfate

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Joined: 2/1/2005
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And sometimes the frenzy turns into a slow burn which never fades <grin>. I agree with taking your time. If neither of you are going anywhere, what does it matter how long you take to commit? I still feel like I was swept off my feet, and that was nine years ago and I haven't found them yet. Even so, I have enough prior experience with relationships in general to know that it is rare. As E said...just enjoy the journey :)

best regards,
fate

P.S. Congratulations!!!!

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 7

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 9:33:17 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gemeni

Give it a few months, and then decide if you'll make any commitment-now is probably not a good time to decide.

i agree.i'm not planning my marriage yet hehe.Well unless you count looking at pretty little collars online too close to a marriage ceremony.But i have been around some and no im not making that kind of commitment after two weeks,but the feelings are powerful.
What would be so terrible about accepting a collaer or even a commitment after a 2 weeks? just throwing out food for thought here

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to Gemeni)

Post #: 8

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 9:36:17 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate

And sometimes the frenzy turns into a slow burn which never fades <grin>. I agree with taking your time. If neither of you are going anywhere, what does it matter how long you take to commit? I still feel like I was swept off my feet, and that was nine years ago and I haven't found them yet. Even so, I have enough prior experience with relationships in general to know that it is rare. As E said...just enjoy the journey :)

best regards,
fate

P.S. Congratulations!!!!

Thank you

So far its a lovely journey,cant wait to see where it leads

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to stormsfate)

Post #: 9

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 11:18:24 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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Emerald and Gemeni both offer some good advice. There's a good chance that what you are feeling now is part of that emotional high most of us get with something new, including a new relationship. Enjoy it for now. There's no need to make a long term commitment at this point. Give it a few months and see how you feel then, if there are still strong feelings (not necessarily intense, strong and intense feelings aren't quite the same thing) then think about a long term commitment. If in a few months you both don't have those strong feelings, let it go an just hold on to the happy memories. Whatever you decide to do, make the best decision you know how to make and accept that. Even if it turns out later to have been a mistake, accept that at the time you made the best choice you knew how to make and don't beat yourself up for your mistakes. We all make mistakes, the only real fools are those who don't learn from them.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 10

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 12:11:16 PM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

if there are still strong feelings (not necessarily intense, strong and intense feelings aren't quite the same thing) then think about a long term commitment. If in a few months you both don't have those strong feelings, let it go an just hold on to the happy memories. Whatever you decide to do, make the best decision you know how to make and accept that. Even if it turns out later to have been a mistake, accept that at the time you made the best choice you knew how to make and don't beat yourself up for your mistakes. We all make mistakes, the only real fools are those who don't learn from them.

Jeez how depressing, but yeah.
Thanks

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 11

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 2:09:13 PM

dominmd

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

The fastest and hottest burning relationships burn out the fastest it seems.

You know you, do what you feel is best. You can be together everyday and still take things slow. Enjoy every moment.....well you already are so..........

Happy for you.

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 12

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 2:44:14 PM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dominmd

The fastest and hottest burning relationships burn out the fastest it seems.

You know you, do what you feel is best. You can be together everyday and still take things slow. Enjoy every moment.....well you already are so..........

Happy for you.

*nods*
Thank you

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to dominmd)

Post #: 13

RE: How long does it take? - 7/19/2005 8:40:53 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Answer these questions for me right quick

1. What's his favorite color?

2. What's his favorite movie?

3. What's his favorite food?

4. What's the lisence plate number on his car?

5. When's his B-Day?

6. Where all did he get his edumacation?

7. What's his middle name?

8. What music does he hate the most?

9. What's his mothers maden name?

10. How long can you camp out in the woods with a tent together before needing him to Have To Take a SHOWER and shave?

Time really isn't the factor. you know when you know but does he now it yet? I've been in love a couple of times and thought that most of them where The ONE. But after time went by I slowly found out that they wern't the one. I'm very happy with who I am with now and we both have plans on having a long and happy relationship together. We both know that nothing is certain but that dosen't mean that we don't want it to work. Yes I love her but that dosen't mean that I'm poping out the ring and calling a local priest. For now we are taking things in steps and will soon be living together this August. For now we talk about this and that in a married life and thus far are enjoying the ride.

Other than knowing, it also has to do with when you are ready. Some of my relationships I just wasn't ready for. After all, jobs, income, the ticking clock, school, and realizing that you are ready to settle down are big factors that cross the mind regardless of who you meet and when you meet them. I consider meeting the right person 1/2 chemestry and 1/2 timeing.

It's good to see that you're happy now and I wish you the best.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 7/19/2005 9:04:54 PM >

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 14

RE: How long does it take? - 7/20/2005 6:48:55 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Answer these questions for me right quick

1. What's his favorite color?

2. What's his favorite movie?

3. What's his favorite food?

4. What's the lisence plate number on his car?

5. When's his B-Day?

6. Where all did he get his edumacation?

7. What's his middle name?

8. What music does he hate the most?

9. What's his mothers maden name?

10. How long can you camp out in the woods with a tent together before needing him to Have To Take a SHOWER and shave?

Time really isn't the factor. you know when you know but does he now it yet? I've been in love a couple of times and thought that most of them where The ONE. But after time went by I slowly found out that they wern't the one. I'm very happy with who I am with now and we both have plans on having a long and happy relationship together. We both know that nothing is certain but that dosen't mean that we don't want it to work. Yes I love her but that dosen't mean that I'm poping out the ring and calling a local priest. For now we are taking things in steps and will soon be living together this August. For now we talk about this and that in a married life and thus far are enjoying the ride.

Other than knowing, it also has to do with when you are ready. Some of my relationships I just wasn't ready for. After all, jobs, income, the ticking clock, school, and realizing that you are ready to settle down are big factors that cross the mind regardless of who you meet and when you meet them. I consider meeting the right person 1/2 chemestry and 1/2 timeing.

It's good to see that you're happy now and I wish you the best.

Actually i can answer all of those questions except for the license plate one,hell man i gotta be honest i don't even know my own license plate number off the top of my head.The reason why i know the answers to most of those things is a fact that i forgot to mention(my apologies for that) This isn't someone that i've just met but someone who has reentered my life after many years.So we knew each other pretty well before now we're just getting to know each other even better.
As far as if he thinks i'm the one for him he seems to think i most definately could be so he's willing to spend more time with me so that we can explore this.i feel the same about him.He could be the One so i'm willing to also explore it.We're both very smitten that is for sure but we're both adults who have been in relationships before so we're going to rush to the wedding chapel quite yet but if we're still together after a year who knows

< Message edited by dechala -- 7/20/2005 7:02:57 AM >

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 15

RE: How long does it take? - 7/20/2005 6:57:10 AM

dechala

Posts: 114
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Answer these questions for me right quick

1. What's his favorite color?

2. What's his favorite movie?

3. What's his favorite food?

4. What's the lisence plate number on his car?

5. When's his B-Day?

6. Where all did he get his edumacation?

7. What's his middle name?

8. What music does he hate the most?

9. What's his mothers maden name?

10. How long can you camp out in the woods with a tent together before needing him to Have To Take a SHOWER and shave?

Time really isn't the factor. you know when you know but does he now it yet? I've been in love a couple of times and thought that most of them where The ONE. But after time went by I slowly found out that they wern't the one. I'm very happy with who I am with now and we both have plans on having a long and happy relationship together. We both know that nothing is certain but that dosen't mean that we don't want it to work. Yes I love her but that dosen't mean that I'm poping out the ring and calling a local priest. For now we are taking things in steps and will soon be living together this August. For now we talk about this and that in a married life and thus far are enjoying the ride.

Other than knowing, it also has to do with when you are ready. Some of my relationships I just wasn't ready for. After all, jobs, income, the ticking clock, school, and realizing that you are ready to settle down are big factors that cross the mind regardless of who you meet and when you meet them. I consider meeting the right person 1/2 chemestry and 1/2 timeing.

It's good to see that you're happy now and I wish you the best.

Actually i can answer all of those questions except for the license plate one,hell man i have to admit i don't even know my own license plate number off the top of my head.i know all of these answers because of a fact that i've neglected to mention so far(my apologies for that) This isn't someone new that I've just met but someone who has re entered my life after amny years.We knew each other pretty well before,now we're just getting to know each other better.
As for him thinking that i'm the one for him,he seems to think that i most definately could be so he's willing to spend more time with me so that he can explore this.i feel the same for him.i think he most definately could be the one so i'm willing to explore it.We are quite smitten with each other right now,nothing wrong with that but we are both adults and have been in relationships before so we're not ready to rush to the chapel right away.But if we're still together in a year then we'll see what happens..now discussing what kind of pretty collar that he wants to put on me so that i can look like Daddy's hot little kitten for DragonCon(labor day weekend) that's another issue lol

_____________________________

dechala

"As soon we find a motel i'm gonna put my little honeybunny bride on the bed and tie her up.."
Natural Born Killers

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 16

RE: How long does it take? - 7/21/2005 7:29:46 PM

DK

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

I think you can have great chemistry, or a great D/s dynamic but not good long term partners. It can be all or just part of what makes it work out.

I have had relationships where the D/s was great, or the chemistry was amazing, but more than anything it was a matter of circumstances that made the relationship work or not.

Are you both compatible beyond the lust and D/s? Common interests?
Are you both ready for a LT partner in your life?
Do you share the same goals or values ( family, kids, travel, etc. or not )

Do take it slow because then you will know the person more than just being intoxicated by being "Daddy's hot lil kitten".

(in reply to dechala)

Post #: 17

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