quote:

ORIGINAL: CDOM3

OK. No judgements and not a poll.
In RT living in a D/s or M/s relationship, what is the number one quality that you look for and is it different then what you need?
Such as I look for intelligence, awareness of real world living and common sense. These are the qualities I seek in a slave because they will add value to comfort of My life. From there I look for a slave that needs structure, organization suppilied by Me so she can free herself of real world responsibilities and thus devote herself to serving.
It is a symbiotic relationship.
Is it realistic to seek a quality that will lend itself to a secure, solid relationship (building a relationship from the top down) vs. seeking a need (usually sensual/sexual so building from the bottom up) and trying to build a relationship from the need?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

I look for people I like and can be friends with. After that, I had a whole list of must haves, and also deal breakers.

They had to be devoted to their ums. Men who don't pay support, move into bachelor pads with no room for their ums, never spend time with their ums, yet complain about how horrible their exes are as mothers don't get the time of day from me.

They had to be capable of long term commitments, which doesn't mean three dozen relationships in six years but one relationship for 20 years. I couldn't care less about how well he could use a flogger. I do care about his ability to communicate and commit.

No anger problems, no drug/alcohol issues whether presently in recovery or not. No problems with someone who has mood disorders as long as they take their meds and see their therapists. No people with personality disorders, that I can't deal with plus I don't know of any who do commit to taking their meds and seeing their therapists day in and day out for their whole life.

And there were a whole lot of other things. Having this list made it easier to screen for a compatible person. I wasn't looking to be compatible with as many as possible, just with the right one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CDOM3
..
In RT living in a D/s or M/s relationship, what is the number one quality that you look for and is it different then what you need?

Such as I look for intelligence, awareness of real world living and common sense.

Bingo!  You said exactly what I would have said! 

It is a symbiotic relationship.

I believe it IS a symbiotic relationship...  While I think both should be whole, capable individuals...I look for someone who will celebrate the relationship just as much as I would.

Is it realistic to seek a quality that will lend itself to a secure, solid relationship (building a relationship from the top down) vs. seeking a need (usually sensual/sexual so building from the bottom up) and trying to build a relationship from the need? 

For me, 'need' is a red flag.  I prefer to be with someone I WANT to be with and who WANTS to be with me.  In my book 'need' smacks of not having a decision or choice.  I think we should decide every day who it is we enjoy spending our time with and if we're not (over all) enjoying ourselves...it's time to make a change.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CDOM3


In RT living in a D/s or M/s relationship, what is the number one quality that you look for and is it different then what you need?

quote:

Is it realistic to seek a quality that will lend itself to a secure, solid relationship (building a relationship from the top down) vs. seeking a need (usually sensual/sexual so building from the bottom up) and trying to build a relationship from the need?

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Power and yes, it's quite different from what I need. I need food, air etc.. things I must have to survive. Power allows me to thrive.. that's a perk.