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caitlyn -> Viagra: What's Not on the Label (9/20/2007 12:54:20 PM)
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My latest love interest ... the strip club commando ... seems to have a small problem with closing the deal. The poor man ... it was sort of bumming him out. I kind of like him (ok, I like him a lot) and I hated to see him have problems in this area. I'll also admit, that it makes you feel less than hot, which isn't a good thing at all. Not a big deal for me, I'm not a huge fan of the old 'in-n-out' anyway.
So ... he goes to the doctor, and gets some Viagra. The stuff is amazing, but there are a few warnings that aren't on the packaging, and clearly should be.
1. Viagra comes in a small, medium and large sized doses. Doctors will give you what you ask for, I guess, and of course, all men ask for the largest dose. They are men, after all. The packaging needs to insist that men start with the smallest dose. The larger dose adds new meaning to the phrase, "Will you finish already ... you are sweating all over me!"
2. If your partner is taking Viagra, the answer to anal sex is no. Not just no, but NO FUCKING WAY, NO!
3. Lacking the label protection offered by item #2, the packaging at least needs to say ... If your partner takes Viagra, make sure you have appropriate time to devote to anal sex, and have no plans to sit down any time soon.
4. For the love of God, if your partner takes Viagra, there needs to be a warning, that he will in no way expect you to swallow. A hundred and five pound girl, physically cannot swallow fifty-seven gallons of anything.
5. It needs to be more clearly stressed on the packaging, that you should take this fifteen to thirty minutes before sex ... and not fifteen to thirty minutes before going out to eat. This would help to avoid hearing, "For Christ's sakes Caitlyn, you eat too God damn slow ... will you finish off those last five fucking bites, so we can hit my place!!"
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